I feel like I'm rockin' to a tight beat, but I'm stuck in a horrible verse; awaiting the hook. And where the fuck is the punch line?! Whats a tight beat without suitable lyrics? I'm better off rockin' a cappella. My daily routine is becoming rather redundant. Waking every morning at 6:30 a.m, shower, get dressed, make my bed, make it to the office by 7:30 a.m, tackle the work load on my desk, leave the office at 4:00 p.m, weave through the horrible Houston traffic, make it to my second job by 4:45 p.m, attempt to be the best customer service representative I can possibly be, leave the call center at 9:00 p.m and be home again by 9:07 p.m. What goes down the following day? The same damn thing! My life is very structured and has little room for change. I made it this way on purpose though; for my own sick reasons.

My life is not totally boring, because the people that I cross paths with everyday won't allow it to be that way. I just need some form of excitement. My co-worker had a birthday party for her cats and as ridiculous as that sounds; I should've went, loll. I've never heard of anyone having a birthday party for their pets, but the woman made it sound so exciting and fun. This is when I realized, I was numb to the thought of real excitement. I mean I was seriously contemplating attending a birthday party for some damn cats! I need an adventure, hell I need a real vacation. I need to hop on a plane and go somewhere away from my everyday environment. Having a bad ass female to accompany me wouldn't be bad either, loll. I made a vow to myself that I would go on some type of vacation this year no matter what, and the year is almost half way over. I'm still holding strong to that vow though. I need it. Scratch that, I deserve it.

I'm craving the feeling of newness. I need something different in my life right now. I need to swap out my friend base or expand it in some way. I'm definitely suffering a drought in that area. Don't even get me started on conversation; the same dead ass encounters everyday with the same people. My brain needs a bath and a jump; electrocute that bad boy! I'll keep this all the way real when I say I could use a new womanly figure in my life. A new soft voice, a new soft body, a new soft touch, a new form of intimate yet intellectual conversation. This will indeed give me something to look forward to everyday. Dangers behind this are still the same as they've always been. Get that body, get use to that new voice, touch that body, conversation gets old and I get bored; I'm out the door and another one bites the dust. A never ending cycle that seems to go on in my life, but is indeed my own fault. In order for that newness to stay new, I must commit to it. Ha! I don't think so, I rebel when restricted and I hate the feeling of obligation. So I'll pass, thanks. I truly don't want to use any female for my own selfish desires and this is why I've been sticking things out solely by myself. I'm not going to convert back to my old ways, because I know this is wrong. I am a person who likes to have her cake and eat it too. All pun intended when it comes to me and women. My track record is shameful and it's something that I'm not proud of.

So I do yearn that feeling of newness, and I will find it in different ways. Perhaps I'll do some volunteering, actually respond to my messages on facebook and catch up with my old high school buddies, spend way more time with my family, visit all the museums in Houston, take a risk and do something different that doesn't harm myself or anyone else. I have a void that needs to be filled and new lyrics to this song that needs to be written. The beat is definitely knocking like an old Doug E. Fresh and The Get Fresh Crew tune, but I just need that punch line to bring it on home!