Who Knew My Foot Could Taste So Good? Bon Appétit!
Almost there; one more day! Yesterday started off as a great day and I got through both jobs without dozing off one time! Go me. However, the night ended off pretty rocky. BUT, I made a vow not to lay my head down on the pillow for sleep with a heavy heart. All problems, angers, and worries need to be thrown to the sky before I drift off to la la land. This way I will wake up fully rejuvenated and free of yesterdays anxieties. Because Lord knows, each day brings on an entire new set of issues. Who wants to deal with yesterday's? Psh, that's insane.

So I've come to realize just how short my fuse really is. Ha, I know some folks are like, "Bitch we know how short your fuse is, why has it taken you so long to realize this?" I know, I know. Me being angry with my patience ran completely out, "is like a man smoking at a gas station. I'M ABOUT TO BLOW UP!" Who is there when the smoke clears though? Lmao, no damn body. People have either been hit with a flying burning object or ran away in fear for their lives. I don’t blame them either. I'm no good when I'm mad. I say shit that never needs to be said. Sometimes, I even say shit just to hurt people. Am I proud of that? No. Because, all the victims on my rap sheet were not 100% deserving of the verbal daggers thrown at them.

What makes me angry? Being misunderstood, and my attempts to communicate through an issue at hand going ignored. It's like I'm being backed into a corner with all of my feelings floating above my head like boulders ready to crash down on me. However, instead of standing there waiting to be crushed, I'll come out of that corner swinging; knocking jaws loose, blacking eyes and demolishing frontals. However, sometimes I'm wrong and if I'd only attained enough patience to actually sit back and wait; things would play out much differently. Feelings could've been spared and faces could've been saved. It's said that "A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains." Shit, but they also say "you are what you eat", and I don't consider myself to be a pussy. However, I do need to check myself; that can be admitted.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)

Your friends and coworkers may not be able to understand you today, even if you explain yourself again and again. But rather than prompting arguments, it's likely they will just nod in agreement, believing that they know what you mean. Nevertheless, you may be painfully aware of the gulf between you. Don't try to bridge the gap; it will go away naturally after tomorrow's eclipse.

Admitting when I'm wrong is never easy for me, but even when it's admitted does that mean people will forgive you right away or forget what happened at the snap of a finger? Nope. I know I hold grudges and even when an apology is laid out on the table, my pride sometimes still won't let me let it go that easily. Even still, what else can one do when you've admitted to your wrongdoing, explained your case and tried in multiple ways to communicate with someone and they still don't bite? You're damn right, leave it alone. I don't kiss ass, I don't chase and I do not linger where I am no longer wanted. I check pass and let them handle the ball. I'll be here when they're ready talk this out like one would adults know how to do.
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College Wednesday - Know Somebody Like This?
It's that time again ya'll. College Wednesday; where we summarize 99% of the people whom you'll ever meet in college or in life period. Last week, I got a pretty good volume of responses on the 2 characters described, so let's see how this week tickles your fancy. Today we introduce The I Studied Abroad And It Changed My Life Girl/Guy and the Intellectual Superhero. This should be fun…

I Studied Abroad And It Changed My Life Guy/Girl - This person has spent anywhere from 3-12 months in a country that isn't too different from our own, but it's soooo much better. It's so cultured and you can drink without having the draconian American laws over your back. Most of this student's stores involve getting drunk and hooking up with creepy older gentleman or passing out on the couch interspersed with some sightseeing. But it changed his/her life, like OMG I totally know how people in other countries live, and I'll keep talking and talking and talking about it.

You know how people, not just if they studied abroad, says that something changed his or her life? Then when they go to explain how and why it changed their life, you soon realize that they didn't have much of a life to begin with! Studying abroad in Cancun Mexico, is really not all that amazing. I mean really, we all go there on our senior class trips anyway and we've already been super excited about the underage drinking laws over there. Who the fuck cares anymore? That's like studying abroad and being in chat rooms all day bragging about it! But you aren't doing anything abroad, you're barely studying! You're doing the same shit you could've stayed in the States doing. Another monkey doing flips in the circus. What a waste.

Intellectual Superhero - Intellectual superhero is neither an intellectual nor a superhero, but don't tell him that! The Intellectual Superhero is easily identified by his complete inability to allow a class period to pass by without asking at least 654 questions designed to show how "witty" and "clever" he is. He will attempt to prove the professor wrong in every class with is insane bullshit, regardless of the fact that the professor has a doctorate in the field. If it's a science course, the Intellectual Superhero will attempt to solve every problem using an alternate method, which is always incorrect. But don't worry; he'll still manage to waste 20 minutes of your life with is insane method of solving the problem. At least you'll get to laugh at him when the professor proves him wrong.

Lmao! I hate this muthafucka, I really do. Some people are just incorrigible like this. They feel they know every damn thing, as a matter of fact, they call themselves "god" and perfection is their middle name. Bitch please. This is the same person studying abroad online all day trying to build a reputation, lmao! Don't let your internet buddies gas you up too much now. You know sometimes trying to prove people wrong with bullshit reasoning only marks you as the dumbass, this is why I sit back and watch people prove me right. I don't even have to say a word! Intellectual Superhero eh? More like Queen of Contradiction; who is saving your ass?! Signoff homie, take a tour of greatest place on earth; they call it reality!

Man, where's the dreaded 'pine sol' lady when I need her? Lmao. Don't feed the monkeys ya'll. Seriously, people once in their right minds are being mentally mauled and dismantled. These furry little creatures seem so cute, innocent and somewhat intelligent; don't let the manlike features fool you! Proceed with caution. I'll leave ya'll with that. See ya next week!
They So Sensitive!
"…shit get on my level you cant get on my level
you would need a space shuttle or a ladder that's forever
however I'm better if not now than never
don't you ever fix ya lips unless you bout to suck my dick
bitch swallow my words taste my thoughts
and if its too nasty spit it back at me."

Listening to Lil' Wayne early in the morning is never a good idea. I'm convinced, and although his lyrics are a bit redundant and somewhat played, he's still capable of giving the lowest person some ounce of self-esteem. He's a hilarious young man, I must say, and I needed the laughs this morning as I headed into work. I'm now stuck in what proves to be the longest week of my f'n life! It's finally hump day though, and I'm happy about it.

So I've read plenty of blogs published by people on my blog roll and they've all mentioned how surprised they are when they find out that certain ones are reading their posts. Or how fast a specific post spread as if it was an AIDS epidemic in DC. Truth be told, you never really know how many eyes are on your words, but the question is; should I care? Should I filter what I say to spare the feelings of the sensitive ones that may be reading? Should I apologize after every single blog written? I honestly don't think so. I use my blog as a therapy session for some of my most personal feelings. Although, I will admit that sometimes I use my blog as a vice for my everyday frustrations. It's either that, or go on small killing sprees. And, "I'd rather be pushing flowers, than to be in the pen sharing showers."

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)

The emphasis in your life now is on relationships, even while you are at work. Your co-workers may be making a lot of noise about what they are doing, but you aren't impressed by what you see. Unfortunately, you may be required to bury any negative judgments, for it won't be productive today to share your critical view. Keep your opinions to yourself until the end of the week.

Not much impresses me anymore. At this very moment there are only 3 impressive people in my life. They do not go out of their way to do so and all is being done naturally. The sad thing is that I'm one of the 3 people =. Everyone else is just blah; the same monkeys turning the same flips. Not advancing in life at all. It's like I'm at an Olympic track meet and all the runners are running in place at full speed, not going any damn where. Everyone is cheering and highly impressed with their speed and techniques, while I'm trying to find the nearest exit. "No sittin' at the table if you bringin' nothin' to it. I get straight to it; like it's nothin' to it."

So I suppose my dedication to my anonymous readers would be that if you're reading the blog and happen stumble across something you don't like, didn't know or are guilty of; try not to take it so personally. Many people have desired to get a taste of me, but I'm like a jawbreaker aiming straight for the throat. I can't be chewed and I'm extremely hard to swallow. 99% of the time I'm regurgitated and spit back up in one whole piece. Do I reckon this to be a problem? No, because I dig the fact that it takes a special person to melt me down and fully digest who I am. If everyone was able to take me, then I'd be one boring, tasteless bitch.

"They say I talk with so much emphasis,
OOOO they so sen-sa-tive.
Don't ever fix your lips like collagen
Say something where you gone end up 'apologin'.
Let me know if it's a problem man,
Alright man, holla then."
For Good Measure
Lord, please don’t let me get hooked to this red bull again, but I just don't see me getting through this week without it. I bought one yesterday and a 4 pack today. Damn shame. Tomorrow I vow not to buy anymore. Why am I so tired? Well, although this is becoming a bit redundant; I met someone….again. I know at least 10 people just stopped reading this post, lmao! Pray for me! I don't blame them though, because this could be another bump in this vicious cycle I seem to be on. Who knows? I know, I know; what happened to the last one? Was she just the flavor of choice for the month of July? No! Let's just say that my personality does not mesh well with everyone's. I'm just thankful I have the ability to detect intolerable issues early on and I know when I need to get the hell out of dodge; saving us both the future headache. Blah, blah,blah.

I've had the pleasure, or lack of a better word, of experiencing a lot of personalities in my life span thus far. I can sometimes determine a person's sign without them telling me, before I actually exchange words with them. I do so by observing how they interact with other people, how they handle a situation and just how comfortable they are with themselves. Capricorn, Pisces, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, and Sagittarius. I know them all. Some I grew to love and others were just another crash and burn experience *cough CAPRICORNS cough*. The only sign I have not really experienced is my own; Aquarius. That was not until now. I'm not sure if anyone has really gotten into the mind of an Aquarius, I'm sure they haven't; that's almost equivalent to extracting gold in a mine. Damn near impossible. However, there are some lucky people who can reach the core of an Aquarius. They lost their own minds in the process, but they succeeded, loll.

So this Aquarius that I've had the pleasure of actually sitting down and chatting with is basically a mental mirror image of myself. It's like reading a book I've written and I know it by heart. This could either be superb or horrendous. I'm going to throw in a blah, blah, blah for good measure, because for some reason people always seem to mess up after a week of talking; so I won't put it past this one either. Their heads seem to be on straight and then all of a sudden it just falls clean off and you're trapped in a bad remake of Sleepy Hollow. Or like my friend just told me, "sometimes unhealthy people say the healthiest things." I'm not trying to be bamboozled again ya'll, loll. So here's another blah, blah, blah; for good measure.
As crappy as I feel right now, I still wanted to share this weeks quote with everyone. It deals with some things we all go through, which is loss, pain and sorrow. Things that are no doubt brought on by the tribulations of life, but all is up to us in how we handle such tribulations. This determines how much pain and suffering we will actually go through.

Loss leaves us empty - but learn not to close your heart and mind in grief. Allow life to replenish you. When sorrow comes it seems impossible - but new joys wait to fill the void.

- Pam Brown

It's in our human structure to fold under pressure and to retreat when danger is near. Oh and when we're hit, the melo-dramatic scenes begin to play out. Humans can take the smallest things and blow them up bigger than the World Trade Center. Most battles are fought within ourselves and we become our own worse enemies. What do we do? Blame everyone else around us. We blame that lover that left us, we blame God for taking someone away from us that we loved, we blame our childhood, we blame all of life's unfortunate circumstances, but never really take a deep look within and check ourselves. How do you hold someone else responsible for how you take YOUR LIFE'S SITUATIONS? If you have somebody controlling you like that, then I feel sorry for you! Life sucks when you're playing the roll of a joystick.

I've personally had some rough times with getting over situations in my life and realizing that some things are brought on by my own doing. Either, I did something, I didn't do enough, or I didn't do anything at all. The game of life is very tricky, but can be mastered when played the right way. We'll get knocked down, drug back and stepped on. However, we can also be advanced forward, helped back up on our feet and looked highly upon. So, I gladly invite life's problems on, because I know that once I've gotten through one problem, there is a greater blessing in store for me soon thereafter. Those same scrapes, bruises and tears are the things that replenish us. We just have to know how to take them. So lube it up, because life will fuck us raw! What can you do? Cry a river, build a bridge and get the fuck over it!

Ya'll know the tough love was bound to come out, loll. Being pacified is a big problem for me. We are not babies any longer, so we should be able to handle this shit thrown at us. That's why I make sure that I give it to my friends and loved ones straight and nasty. That's how life is giving it to you right? All the time spent sulking is wasted, because moves can be made. Multi-task! Don’t get me wrong, you can cry. We all cry; baby cry until you can't cry any more, but be walking at the same time. Tell life and the crazy people in it, "yeah I know you see the tears, but check my footwork; I'm still on the move!" While the ones trying to pull you down are laughing, they don't even see you pass on by them. Now whose laughing?

Alright, I'm tired as hell and am about to fall off my soap box ,rather than carefully stepping off of it. I know my words are read on a daily basis, and I hope that I've reached somebody out there. Whatever you're going through, it'll be alright. Never let yourself or life's issues drown you. Keep building bridges high and low; remember that sometimes we do have to take a small detour to maneuver around a problem, but we will always end back up on the right path. I'm out. Peace.
After This Weekend I Will Never...
It's Monday ya'll. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I'm proud of myself for not calling into work today and playing hookie. Not because I had something else better to do, but simply because I didn't feel like coming into this damn office today. I know over half of America feels me on that one. Normally, I'm not all this upset that it's Monday, because Tuesday is my least favorite day of the week, but today I'm struggling to get with the program. So this is the day where I ask my readers to share something that they vow to never do again after this weekend. No matter what it was; how big or small, what will you never do after this weekend? I know what I will never do.

After this weekend I will never…

Drink another alcoholic beverage again in my life. Like many people, I've said this many times before, but this weekend was the icing on the cake. It was this weekend that I realized that I'm not 18 anymore. I can't drink until my legs give way from underneath me and truck it to work the next day. Every since I took up the second job, I am scheduled to work on Saturday nights between 5:00 - 9:00pm. I hung out with some friends on Friday night, went to eat and instead of heading home like a respectable young woman; I decided to head to some other friends home and knock back what I thought was only a couple of drinks. I honestly can't remember what all took place that night. I do remember getting up around 11:00am Saturday morning fully dressed (Thank GOD, there have been so many times when I wasn't!) face down on my friend's living room floor. For some reason I still thought it was Friday though and called my day job to tell them I would be in late, but it was Saturday! I'm so glad that my job's recording came on or I'd be embarrassed right now.

I finally made it back to my apartment by 12:00pm and went straight to sleep. I had to set my alarm for 4:00 so that I'd get up for work. However, when I actually did get up for work. I wasn't even hung over, I still felt drunk! It wasn't until I got to work and had to start using my brain to help those whining ass Comcast customers that my head started pounding and I was holding on for dear life. Why were they talking so loud in my ear?! Why were they not in the bed sleeping, instead of trying to watch t.v, talk on the phone and surf the internet? Go to bed! I was talking to every single customer like we know each other from way back! I kept leaving people on hold to go to the restroom, to the break room for coffee and ice. I released so many calls man and I hope they let me back on the premises come tomorrow when it's time to go back.

I didn't even learn my lesson though, because I had a similar night last night and did not go to bed until 5:00am and had to wake up at 6:30am for work this morning. I woke up with my face still plastered to my pillow obviously, because I can't feel it! I have no face this morning! Somebody told me I looked different, I'm like no shit! My face is gone! Go get some help! Time is going so slow!!! I swear it has been 9:53am for the past hour and a half. The clocks are not moving and the room is spinning. This red bull is at a standstill in my system and isn't doing a damn thing for me. I miss my face ya'll. I can't wait to go home and place it back on my head and go to bed!

So after this weekend, I will lay off the alcohol and remember that I'm not 18 anymore. Living an extreme adult life and trying to party like it's 1999 is not a good mixture. It's like Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley's marriage; the shit just doesn't work out!

So tell me after this weekend; what will you not do ever again?
College Wednesday - Know Somebody Like This?
This has been a hilarious week thus far, and I SO love it when I have weeks like this one. No worries and all smiles. The weather is kind of shitty outside, with this hurricane threat we may or may not have rolling through. I hope not, because I don’t time for any hurricanes; I have shit to do. So I'll just put my "boat in a box" in my trunk and keep it moving; when and if that bitch does decide to hit H-Town. Anyway, most of my readers who keep up with this shit, knows what time it is. It's college Wednesday, so welcome. This is where we summarize 99% of the people whom you'll ever meet in college or in life period. This week we introduce The I'm Too Important To Be Here Girl and The Indie Kid.

I'm Too Important To Be Here Girl - This girl is much too busy to do something as menial as class. She's in a sorority, she's in the student senate and she's got a boyfriend on the lacrosse team. She treats class like it's a bother; much like a PTA meeting. During the entire class period, her blistered thumbs are hammering at the tiny keys an her super expensive new cell phone that Daddy's bought her three times, because she keep wearing it out. Whenever the professor asks her to stop her hammering, her face curls up worse than Reese Witherspoon's after eating out an asshole.

Ugh, bitch please. I can't stand these types of females. Could this girl be compared to some of the stuck up broads we sometimes encounter? I think it's safe to say so. If you feel you're too important to be wasting your precious time somewhere, please leave. Take your snooty little cell phone, your snooty little purse, throw on your snooty little sunglasses, and gather up that water rat snooty looking dog and carry your snooty little ass out of the place. You know that bitch has a dog, loll. Don't they always? Spoiled ass dogs. These Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie broads. They look at you crazy if you say one word to them; whether it's asking for the time, saying excuse me, or kindly telling them that a bird just shitted on the back of their head. It usually takes something truly traumatic to bring these females down from their high horses.

Indie Kid - The Indie Kid is the guy/girl who wears nothing but vintage clothes purchased from thrift stores and listens to music by bands that nobody has ever heard of. Indie kids stick together, always involved in some sore of "intellectual" conversation about a worldly event (past or present) that everybody is not talking about. Often times the Indie Kid will go out of his or her way to mention something obscure to give themselves "Indie cred".

Loll! You know what? I don’t even mind Indie Kids, so I really don't have anything witty or sarcastic to say about them to be honest with you. They mind their own business, tend to their own people and they like what they like. They aren't trying to force their way of living on anybody else or think they're better than you like "I'm too important to be here" people. With the economy like it is today; I'm not even mad at the fact that the indie kids shop at the thrift store. Keep doing what you do ya'll. If you like it, I love it.

Alright, I almost forgot about this post today. I got so caught up in my work. Then I realized that it was actually Wednesday and we're half done with this week! So happy hump day to everyone reading and enjoy the rest of your day. Peace.
A Dark Knight - T. Nicole's Movie Review

The most anticipated film of the summer. The Dark Knight. I was going to wait and go see it this weekend, but my sister talked me into going to see it yesterday. Every single show was sold out and we finally snagged two seats for a 9:50pm show. The line was wrapped the entire upstairs level. Not an empty seat left in the house. Me and my sister managed to get a couple of good seats without being way at the top or way at the bottom stretching our necks.

I had never heard a movie theatre so quiet when the movie finally started. I was insanely into it the first minute of it. I love an action packed film and I have always been a lover of Batman. I followed the series, the cartoon and all of the movies. I still don't think any Batman tops the acting of Val K and no joker tops Jack Nick.

Heath Ledger did and excellent job playing the Joker. I feel that he brought in a whole new demeanor to the character. It was just down right GREAT acting. I hate that he is not alive to see what could be an Academy Award winning film on the big screen.

Christian Bale
Heath Ledger
Aaron Eckhart
Michael Cain
Maggie Gyllenhaal
Gary Oldman
Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox

For a minute I almost forgot the movie was about Batman though. The Joker made the movie exciting. Yes, people love hero movies, but we can't get enough of a well played villain either. The other actors that played in this movie, did great as well. There is something I want to spill, but I won't go too much into the movie. I do suggest that everyone go check it out. If you've always been a Batman fan, you won't be disappointed.

R.I.P Heath Ledger
April 4, 1979 - January 22, 2008

T. Nicole rates A Dark Night with 5 Stars!!

After This Weekend I Will Never...
Okay so I'm stealing this idea from The Monique Show on the radio. I'm not sure if any of you all have heard the show or not, but it's hilarious. Sometimes they have serious topics that I enjoy as well. However, on Mondays; The topic is always, "After this weekend I will Never…" I think I have a pretty interesting life and I probably should do this daily; after today I will never…, loll. So for those people who want to participate, I will appreciate it and will enjoy hearing your responses. So let's begin shall we?

After this weekend I will never...

Step foot in another theatre with my big sister. Now me and this woman are like 2 worlds apart. She is 15 years my senior and is as free spirited as they come. She does NOT give a damn about what anybody thinks. She's spontaneous and is down to ride whenever, however and wherever. But I will be damned if I go to the movies with her again. First of all, when I picked her up she came straight from church and had on what looked like a bridesmaid dress. Don’t get me wrong, my sister is a beautiful woman and was working the dress, but it was definitely not the attire for the movie theatre. So needless to say, people were looking like "where the fuck are they going?" I'm mean mugging everyone who even looked our way.

We called ourselves being like an hour early for A Dark Knight (Batman) and the show we anticipated going to was sold out of course, so we had to wait 3 hours for the next. We sat down and ate in the restaurant inside the theater. That part was cool. It was not until we had to stand in that LONG ASS LINE of people waiting to be seated in the theatre we were going in. So of course I was pissed. People who have ever experienced going to the movies with me know that I have to be on time and I can't stand waiting or I'll go home. EARLY! I'm really picky about my movie theatre experience.

Okay so we're both in line and people are steady looking at my sister in this dress and she's talking a mile a minute, loud and doing some kind of 2 step to whatever song was playing in her head. Lmao! I love my sister, I really do. The whole time, I'm.."Camille, please stop dancing. What the hell song do you hear?!" She pays me no mind. As we are all being herded into the theater like live cattle, we're both excited, but she's so excited she starts dancing more and FASTER. People have no idea what is going on.

So we all know someone who plays the role as an "Ad-libbing extra" in the movies. She has something to say, and quite loudly might I add, after every single break in the film. You know these breaks are the quietest moments so everybody on our row and above us could hear her remarks. Dare somebody to shhh her and it's over. The whole theatre will be cursed out. Never again ya'll. I said I wasn't going to do it again after she thought it was a good idea to bring a huge family dollar bottle of bubbles in the movies and start blowing them on all the people below. I was so embarrassed. The looks on people's faces were priceless. So I love you sis, but we'll have to catch it on bootleg and view it in the privacy of your home.

So I want to know from you; after this weekend you will never…
Debut to Society
I was thinking about what I would write about this week and the word honor came to. I was pushing thoughts through my mind about how one becomes honorable. I know a lot of people that do things for attention or falsely just to impress someone, but does this make that person honorable? Or can one say that they are honorable all on their own? The answer is HELL NO to both questions. Honor is, on its objective side, other people's opinion of what we are worth; on its subjective side, it is the respect we pay to this opinion.

We can't be honorable on our own, because it's determined by someone else's opinion if we should be credited for such noble acts or not, if we will be famous, when our fame ends and the amount of respect we get for all things. By and in himself a man can accomplish very little; he is like Robinson Crusoe on a desert island. It is only in society that a man's powers can be called into full activity. But we all know that in the end its up to One to determine just how honorable we truly are here on earth.

Nothing in life gives a man so much courage as the attainment or renewal of the conviction that other people regard him with favor; because it means that everyone joins to give him help and protection, which is an infinitely stronger bulwark against the ills of life than anything he can do himself.

- Arthur Schopenhauer, " Position, IV "

To stand firm to your beliefs and have another recognize such acts is proved to be honorable. Backing down from your supposedly firm beliefs will be viewed as shameful. I feel the acts that take place before being named as honorable should come naturally. They should not be scripted in your head, but free flowing. How many people do you know that do things just to get arise out of others? Just to get that 15 minutes of fame? It's like watching Nick Cannon in ANY movie or sitting in the audience of ANY one of his stand-up comedic acts; you can just tell that he is trying his HARDEST to get a laugh out of people. It's not natural; it's down right wack! Does anyone find Nick Cannon's and Mariah Carey's bogus marriage honorable? Hell no, we take it to be a joke and people forgot about it right after it was announced. We all said our "what the fucks" and moved on in life. Shame vs. Honor; a decision of the people.

I give honorable mentions to people like my family: my beautiful; independent mother, my strong willed father, my enlightening sister, and my courageous grandmother. In my opinion these people are honorable and I'm honored to have the same blood running through my veins as they do. So one must give their debut to society before being named honorable. This must done sincerely and in the most humble spirit or it will not be authentic, and you will shame yourself and the people around you.
Just Like Jeezy; I'll Swap Em' Out
Damn, it seems like it was Friday just 20 minutes ago, and now here we are back again on Monday. Days, weeks, months and years are running into one another, it seems and it's a bit hard to keep up. Goodness, I see why old people forget what day it is. I told someone yesterday that it was Saturday, not realizing that I had to be back in the office this morning. So here I am. I had a pretty good weekend and had great time spending it with family and friends.

So, getting to the point at hand. I realized this weekend that I was not quite finished swapping out the worthless people in my life. I've tried this patience thing, but it doesn't seem to be working for me. Having patience for young minded, common sense lacking, spacey, world class fuck-ups seems to be impossible for me. I gave the benefit of the doubt, because I realize that young people are a little unsure of themselves and some even have trouble forming complete sentences let alone a complete thought, but goodness. I lowered the bar for some and they still tripped over that muthafucka and fell flat on their faces. Poor things were in over their heads with this one. I had a talk with my big sister yesterday while sitting down at dinner and she told me to stop wasting my time on these worthless people who can't bring anything to the table. If all they are bringing are chewed up Barbie-doll heads and half empty Libby's juicy juice boxes; I can't really expect them to be on the same page as I am. Not even in the same book, hell they might not even be able to read yet for all I know. So from here on out, I vow to stop playing the role of the teacher for these kids and await for a person to finally come and teach me something. I salute the world class fuck-ups and I wish you well on your endeavors. Strap on your helmets and try not to run into any walls in your journeys. Act like you know me and quote that in your blog baby, peace.

Alright so everyone who knows me and knows me well, knows that I have a problem with grown people being bored with life, grown people needing their insecurities baby-sat, grown people needing to be validated, grown people having no nitch in life, grown people having no ambition and grown people being down right full of shit. Now for the kids 21 and younger I let slide with this, because they might not know any better; even them I can't deal with in my life and this is why I had to swap em' out. Tell them to call me when they grow up; get some confidence, set some goals and obtain that mental swagger. I know some very intelligent grown people whom are quite knowledgeable, but yet still ignorant. You have all this knowledge, but aren't putting any of it into action, still sitting around not knowing what to do in life and searching for someone to entertain you. This is a sad case. There is too much one can learn and be entertained with just by stepping out their front door. "The world brought me to my knees. What have you brung you? Did you improve on the design? Did you do something new? Well your name ain't on the guest list. Who brung you?" Open your minds people and stop depending on others for every damn thing. Learn how to take out the trash and stop approaching people with that stench and maybe, just maybe they'll stick around longer. Your funk is turning people off and running them away; get your mind right.

So I've had enough amusement for the past couple of months and the curtains are closing on some of these folks. Time to hold auditions for new acts and hopefully I can take some of these out on the road with me. So just like Jeezy, I'm swappin' em' out.

At what point do you realize that a person isn't cut to handle being in your life? What is your turn off point? When do you swap em' out?
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To Snitch Or Not To Snitch

So I was listening to the radio this morning as I do every morning. Besides hearing about Al Reynolds; the man we all know as Star Jones' Ex-husband cleaning out his closet and convincing HIMSELF and the world that he is not gay on YouTube, and Jessie "I'll cut yo nuts off" Jackson still talking in that "hot mic" using the "N" word after supposedly boycotting it, I tuned into an interesting topic brought up on Jackie Reid's show. To snitch or not to snitch? And no she wasn't referring to you and your wanna be thug friends turning each other in to the feds for stealing honey buns from mom & pop stores. I had to clear that up, because you know some nigga is standing up right now, "Man, fuck snitches! I don't snitch, that's bitch made nigga!" Please sit your ass down, you and your lame friends don't even do anything worth snitching on anyway; have a seat.

No, this topic brought up the question: If you saw your friend's boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife out rendezvousing with another person, would you tell on them? Now I'm sure we've all thought about this question before and have been in this situation before. I know I have, and personally I'd rather not get involved. I don't believe it's my place to get in between a person and their relationship with someone else. It's not my business. I'm not a messy person and I hate drama, so contrary to what many muthafuckas believe; I'm not going to do anything to stir it up. Some will probably disagree and feel like if they call themselves a true friend, it's their responsibility to have their friend's back at all times and I agree. Trust me I do, because I'll cut for my TRUE friends. It's just that I've seen this movie so many times man.

If I am close friends with both parties of that relationship, I'm not going there. I will have to let fate play that one out. Now if I was close friends with just one party of the relationship; I will more than likely put my friend up on what I THINK I saw. I said think, because, you know some people are quick to call somebody out on something and don’t know what the fuck was really going on. A nigga could've been going to the store with their Grandmother, and the next thing you know, you're getting a text from your girl friend; "What bitch you in the store with? Yeah Keesha told me she seen you hand in hand with some old bitch with her wig leaning to the left, going into Wal-Mart nigga. We through! You ain't said shit, I been fucking your bestfriend anyway." You have NO IDEA what just happened as you're helping your poor old Grandmother pick out fresh apples in the produce section. She thinks you're constipated, because you have this strained look on your face. First of all, you want to whoop Keesha ass for sticking her nose where it doesn't belong, and whoop your now EX-girlfriend's ass for admitting to cheating on your ass.

Then you have those friends who are going to think you're hating on them and their relationship if you reveal what you THINK you saw between their mate and another person. You know some people are blinded by love and are living in complete denial and just don’t want to hear anything wrong their mate might be doing. Their ignorance is bliss and it's sad. So if you snitch to that friend on their mate, you'll more than likely loose that friend, because they are going to flip out on you and block you out of their life. Catch 22. So this is the only reason why I stated that I'd rather just stay out of it. It all depends on all parties involved, how close I am with this "friend", would they do the same thing for me, and the scenario within itself. I would rather just let fate and time have one hell of hump session, conceive that love/hate child we all know as KARMA and watch the fireworks go the fuck off! Mica stays in her lane at all times. Please believe me.
College Wednesday - Know Somebody Like This?
I haven't really been in the right frame of mind to post the past few days. I've been going through it emotionally. I guess it's the curse of being a woman huh? Well, I couldn't skip out on College Wednesday though. Even though I have a bit of work to take care of; I'm not going to abridge today's post because of it. So welcome to College Wednesday once again, where we summarize 99% of the people whom you'll ever meet in college or in life period. Today we introduce The I Can Quitter and Mr./Ms. I'm Right, You're Wrong.

I Can Quitter - This person smokes, drinks, has other bad habits and can quit whenever they want. When asked to quit they always respond, "I would, but I don’t wanna."

"I smoke, I drank; I'm suppose to stop, but I can't. I'm a dog, I love ho's; I'm addicted to money, cars, and clothes!" We all know someone with this mentality man. We all know that grown ass person who smokes weed everyday and does not give a damn. You ask them, why are you grown and smoking weed every day of your life? Don't you have anything else better to do? Their response, "Cuz I want to." They don't plan on stopping, either you love it or hate it. Loll, I've accepted lots of friends with habits like this. To each his/her own.

I'm Right, You're Wrong - This person has a very strong opinion about EVERYTHING and will force it down the throat of EVERY PERSON that opposes them. This is made intolerable by the fact that the "I'm right, you're wrong's" opinions aren't backed up very well or are announced in a very ridiculous and obnoxious manner. These people abuse terms like "liberal, democrat, hippie, freak, tree hugger, terrorist, right-wing, extremist, ect." Very often the opinion is somewhat one sided.

This person, ladies and gentlemen, is what I called a R.L.I - Real Live Idiot! It's one thing to be opinionated, because a lot of can vouch for me when I say I'm a very opinionated woman. However, there is a difference with being an ignorant opinionated person like hm, BUSH, loll, versus being a logical opinionated person like hm, ME. You ever had an empty debate with someone like this? You take a healthy topic and you voice your opinion on it, and they in return let you know that you're wrong, but then give no sensible reason as to why they feel that way. You end up with this "what the fuck are you saying to me" look on your face. This person is somehow just looks dumber by the second. You either one, spit on them, lmao, or just walk away. I think the more logical choice would be to walk away. I can't count how many people I walk away from during my week. I deal with a shitload of R.L.I's man, let me tell you! All you Mr./Ms. I'm Right, You're Wrongs, please abrogate your self proclaimed thrones, It's election year, so let's get all idiots out of the White House.

Okay, I have more to say, but I'll save that for another blog. It's been an interesting week thus far. I may have to do a mid-week re-cap this evening when I get off. I'll see ya'll next week though. Peace.
Flip The Script
Friday, Friday, Friday!! It's sort of been a long week for me. I felt like Friday would never arrive, but here we meet again and I'm grateful. No traumatic incidents happened this week, as far as work is concerned. I did learn a lot this week though. I never blogged on the quote of the week, but I'm going to share it now. Mentally, it has guided me through the week.

"If you think about disaster, you will get it. Brood about death and you hasten your demise. Think positively and masterfully, with confidence and faith, and life becomes more secure, more fraught with action, richer in achievement and experience."

- Edward Rickenbacker

Think positive thoughts and positive outcomes will follow; point blank. Think negative thoughts and disaster will follow; plain and simple. Walking in my shoes isn't always the easiest task and I know most people can say that about themselves, but it all plays out in how we handle every situation and how we take things. I've mastered the task of flipping the script and finding that speck of light in all f'd up situations.

This week I've been called out of my name, critically judged by people who do not know me, ignorantly summed up by people who are getting to know me, ignored, blown off, inconsiderately forced into one-sided conversations, slapped in the face with the double standard stick and thrown into a steaming vat of assumptions; making an ass of me and those assuming people. I could have grown bitter over all of these things just listed, but why would I do that? Why would I give people and situations the power to control me? That only makes matters worse. The script was flipped, everything was taken in stride and I rolled with all left hooks swung at me. I'm still on top and I'm still a mystery to those attempting to sum me up. You can't predict the unpredictable. And I can't control the inevitable; in which I have truly learned this week.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)

An odd juxtaposition between knowing what you want and doing what others expect can tilt your day into the twilight zone. You might not fully understand what's going on if you try to intellectualize every interaction, yet letting go of your need to know what's right should loosen things up significantly. Forget about logical analysis; just follow your instincts and they will lead you in the right direction.

Hm, good pointers. I think I'll actually take heed to these words. I do tend to over analyze every situation and intellectualize every interaction. This hasn't always been positive for me. In fact, it usually leaves me the only one caring about the situation at hand. Loll, I'm sick of caring to be honest. I'm sick of being held accountable for the mistakes that others have made in the past. I'm not those people. I genuinely care, but for those who want to keep making me out to be the bad guy; I'll be that and stop caring. Insecurity is a muthafucka man. It effects everyone around you and everyone you interact with. So let me flip that script and stop trying to prove myself to these people and working so hard to hop over the Great Wall of China built up around whom folks truly are. It's obviously not the time for the gates to open. I'm not Tom Cruise and this isn't Mission Impossible. Sum that up.

Okay, so I might've gone left field with that last paragraph, but I caught a word! Forgive me. So for this day I pray that I listen to my instincts and let them guide me in the right direction. Along with the help of wisdom, faith, strength, understanding and peace. With that said, I wish all a wonderful weekend ahead. It'll be a weekend of cleaning, relaxing and shopping for me. Can't wait; peace ya'll.
Seven Deadly Sins
I haven't done too many surveys in this blog; so I figured what the heck. I snagged this one from EB's Blog. Hope she doesn't mind, because I found the questions to be quite interesting. =]



1. Who did you last get angry with? Jackie
2. What is your weapon of choice? My mouthpiece. It can be lethal, so what you say homie, because these bullets will be spat back at you!
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? I have in my past, and I'm pretty sure I would in the present of future if necessary.
4. How about of the same sex? Yes, I have slapped a few bitches in my time and will do it again. 5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you? Hm, there's no telling. Mica is always making folks mad. "What you want me do? I'm sorry!"
6. What is your pet peeve? I have way too many to name. People with no common sense would be on the top of my list though.
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? I hold the grudge until it's talked out. I can't help it. I try to let it go, but having things left up in the air is not a good thing for me.



1. What is one thing you’re supposed to do daily that you haven’t done in a long time? Smh, exercise.
2. What is the latest you’ve ever woken up? Probably about 2:00pm after a long drunken night before.
3. Who have you been meaning to contact, but haven’t? Yeah, my ex-girlfriend.
4. What is the last lame excuse you made? "I can just do it tomorrow", when contemplating grocery shopping.
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones…)? Man, no.
6. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? I never hit the snooze button. My body is like clock work and I wake up at the exact same time every morning; if nothing crucial was done the night before.



1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? White chocolate mocha from Starbucks.
2. Meat eaters are…: good in my book. I'm not a beef eater, but hey I'm not mad at the people who will devour a thick steak or two.
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you’ve had in one sitting/outing/event? I never want to re-live this night again in life. I downed 3 Long Island Iced Teas, 2 shots of Patron, 1 Hurricane and a Red bull and Vodka. I was sick for 3 days. Never again, never again!!!!!
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company? Lord knows I need to.
5. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods or spicy foods? I guess salty =\



1. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? Yes, I stare at women's breast when they are out, about and fellowshipping in my face. However, I was just looking at my male co-worker's crotch. I'm not into dudes, but he always seems to be erect. Maybe it's his tight pants. *shrugs*
2. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice? Neck!! Omg, I'm a vampire with an extreme fetish for veins and I love a nice neck with a nice juicy vein in it!
3. Have you ever been made a proposition by a prostitute? Man no, lol.
4. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy? Yeah back in my pipe loving days, I had to take a couple pregnancy tests. I stay testing for STD's though. This day in age you can never be too sure. Especially if you're active.
5. Is love at first sight really lust? Of course it is.



1. How many credit cards do you own? 2
2. What’s your guilty pleasure store? Footlocker
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? Pay off all bills and loans, go back to school, invest in some sort of neutral stock, get my publishing company finally up and running, self publish my works and that's about it.
4. Would you rather be rich or famous? I'd like to be financially stable. I think both cases brings on many problems. I'm not really up for it.
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? I don't think the job would be all that boring if they were paying megabucks. I guess it would all depend on a person's definition of the word boring. As long as my mind is occupied the entire day; I won't be bored.
6. Have you ever stolen anything? Yes.
7. How many mp3s are on your hard drive? A little over 800


1. What is one thing you have done that you’re most proud of? Finally gone off on my own and have been taking care of myself and doing a wonderful job at it. Being the spoiled brat that I was, this is major for me.
2. What’s one thing you’ve done that your parents are most proud of? The same as mentioned above and keeping myself out of trouble all these years. They don’t know about all of my close calls and I'm happy to have made them happy.
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life? Word Hustlin' publishing company being a multi-million dollar company publishing more than a handful of best selling authors including myself; the President and CEO.
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? No, I don't. I'm not a competitive person.
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? I believe I have, but it was probably on some bullshit and nothing serious.
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? Of course, loll. 7. What did you do today that you’re proud of? I woke up and came to work.



1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for yourself? Ha, Ha; I plead the 5th on that one.
2. Who would you want to go on Trading Spaces with? No one. I like living my own life. I impress myself.
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? Again, no one. I'm great at being me and no one else can accomplish that. I think living the life of and walking in the shoes of anyone else would be BORING!!!
4. Have you ever been cheated on? Yes
5. Have you ever cheated? Yes
College Wednesday - Know Somebody Like This?
Twenty-five weeks into this man! It's been my most favorite post every week. I know a few readers have been keeping up with it ever since I posted the very first edition on Myspace, January 23rd. Thanks for reading. So I'm happy to bring forth this week's edition to College Wednesday. It is here that we summarize 99% of the people you'll ever meet in college or in life. This week we introduce The High-Schooler and The Husband/Bride To Be.

High-Schooler - Typically a girl and a Freshman. Spends most of her time stereotyping hall mates, classmates, and other acquaintances based on what cliques they would have belonged to in her high school. Her favorite hobby is badmouthing these people because 'in HIGH SCHOOL' she would never have associated with them. She also enjoys critiquing and complaining about every aspect of college which is 'different' from her high school experience.

3 words; LET IT GO! I know quite a few girls with this "I'm stuck in my high school years" mentality. They relate every single thing back to what they would've done in high school in a specific situation. When I was in college there were lots of chicks like this, but now that I'm 24 years old; I'm STILL seeing girls like this. Why are you over 21 and still discussing people in high school and what happened to who back then. Who cares? Life went the hell on, can we not go back? I mean don’t get me wrong; I thoroughly enjoyed my high school years and from time to time I speak to ones I graduated with, but we talk about current events and adult things. We're not planning trips back to the old school to roam the halls and harass our now 70 yr old teachers from back in the day. It's sad that for some people, life as they once knew it ended back in high school.

Husband/Bride To Be - Usually a freshman who is currently engaged. You often asked yourself how long it will last? Why will anyone marry him/her? When will he/she know that it may have been a bit too early? (After the divorce of course :D). Often talks about how he/she will be married soon, and relates a lot of the projects he/she has done to marriage, will need a therapist in the future if it all goes wrong.

Love is in the air and wedding bells are ringing! This is what is in the high school sweethearts heads when they step foot on their college campus for the very first time hand in hand. They strategically planned on applying for the same school and enrolling in the same classes. They are inseparable and life couldn't get any better. Together forever! There is a ring pop on both their wedding band fingers; strawberry for her and sour apple for him. Oh he has plans on buying is bride to be a real ring some day; he just has to work overtime at the Chili's right next door to their cozy one bedroom off campus apartment. Oh and she said she would help out too, because she also works at Chili's and will be contributing funds to their happy little lives. This is beautiful. Until one day the husband to be is taken out for a night on the small little college town. His new buddies introduce him to some of the sorority and frat parties. This is where it goes down! Husband to be walks in the spot and the smell of fresh pussy assaults his nostrils and here comes Ms. New Booty being the bad bitch she is. She winks at him and her shoulder lightly brushes his as she passes. The sour apple ring pop on his finger has suddenly melted and is now dripping down his hand. He is in a new found heaven and wondering where all these new women have been hiding all of his life.

He forgets about his bride to be paitiently waiting up for her man in their cozy apartment. He's now dancing the night away with one woman in front of him and one behind him; dick hard enough to split a brick in half. His new found heaven soon turns into hell when he finally makes it home that night. "What am I doing?" he thinks. "I have to stay with her for the rest of my life?" Here comes the doubts, and soon thereafter (with the inspiration from a stripper or two) comes the end of that never ending love. Poor girl was blind swipped and will hate men forever. Now she's a lesbian, lmao! Just kidding. Well, if she is and you know her; tell her to call me. *winks*

Alright I know I'm a day late with this and I said I would never post college Wednesday on a Thursday again, but I lied. I meant to post yesterday, so my fault totally. Thanks for reading; especially those who have been doing so over the past 5 months. See ya'll next week.

Greed Of The Green
Money is indeed the root of all evil. People lose their minds over an extra buck. Is it safe to say that we all live above and beyond our means? We do the most when it comes to clothing, cars, electronics and home furnishings. All for what? To keep up with the next man? To keep up with the times? For my people, this can travel back to the Willie Lynch letter and the "Willie Lynch syndrome" suffered by most black people. But we won't go there today. It pisses me off every time I read it; so Lord please don't let me go there today.

The greed of the green is sickening. I've asked a lot of people what they would do if they ever won large sum of money (say $1 million dollars) and a lot of people said they would invest it, pay off bills, buy a home, buy their loved ones a home, buy a couple cars, start a business and so on and so forth. However, with all these responses, eventually more money will be desired, aimed for and needed. Living within our means is hardly ever done. If we have money; we're going to go out and grab the more expensive items rather than the least expensive. I know, because I am guilty of the same thing. Then we have to work harder to make more money to cover that more expensive item, when we could've comfortably lived with the least expensive one. The greed of the green causing us to live beyond our means. With the end of the system of things; it'll only get worse.

What led me to this post was something that I thought was mere gossip yesterday, coming from my co-worker as a tip from her cousin that works at a window covering company here in Houston. Embezzlement was the rumor. $1 million dollars being stolen from the company over the time span of 13 years. The woman guilty of such acts fled to NYC to be with her parents when they caught her. I was shocked; for one she was black and not too many of us get away with embezzlement for so much and for so long. Secondly, she was a woman who will probably spend the rest of her life in jail. This morning my co-worker throws the Houston Chronicle and there the story was. It wasn't a rumor after all. The story didn't match quite the same, but when it's foretold by word of mouth, it never is.

July 9, 2008, 7:02AM

Clerk's taste for high life cost her firm $6 million, officials say
By BRIAN ROGERS Copyright 2008 Houston Chronicle

Paying for a jet-setting luxury lifestyle — including tabs of $250,000 at Neiman Marcus and more than $100,000 at Kuhl-Linscomb for furniture — is how a trusted accounting clerk spent nearly $6 million she allegedly stole from her Houston employer, possibly costing many of her colleagues their jobs, prosecutors said.

Marcia Sinclair has worked for 16 years as an accounts receivable clerk for Gulf Coast Window Covering. For the past four years, however, she deposited checks meant for the custom window builder into her own bank account and pocketed millions, according to court records.

The 43-year-old was arrested Monday and is being held in the Harris County Jail in lieu of $12 million bail — twice the amount she is accused of stealing.

Sinclair is expected to hire JoAnne and Earl Musick to defend her in the criminal case, Earl Musick said. He said the father/daughter firm is handling a lawsuit against Sinclair arising from the same allegations.

Musick said he plans to fight the bail at a hearing in state district court scheduled for Thursday.

"They arrested her at home," Earl Musick said. "If she was going to flee the country, she would have already done it."

Sinclair apparently spent most of the money to finance trips, buying furniture and designer merchandise as she traveled to the Bahamas, Europe and across the United States, according to court records.

She particularly liked to shop in London for clothes, said Bryan Vaclavik, an investigator with the Harris County District Attorney's Office.

Problems linked to SinclairBack in Houston, Sinclair furnished her modest home with lavish items, including televisions in every room, paintings and sculptures from Europe, and state-of-the-art exercise equipment.

She also had more than 100 rings, dozens of shoes and "tons of clothes," Vaclavik said.
She also apparently had an affinity for sunglasses.

"It's disgusting," said Vaclavik. "We're talking about 61 pairs of designer sunglasses, with cases."

Bill Gaul, president and CEO of Gulf Coast Window Covering, said a cash flow problem led to 30 layoffs this year. He also said the company hasn't been able to fund the employee retirement plan.

Gaul said four employees have been hired back and the company remains solvent and doing business.

He said that even though the economy has taken a downturn, a significant part of the financial problem stemmed from Sinclair's alleged actions.

"What kind of company can just take a $6 million hit?" he asked.

He also talked about the extravagant expenses reported by authorities. "Instead of buying a $2,000 pair of shoes, she bought 12 pairs of $2,000 shoes."

Court records show that the company hired an auditor after recent discrepancies came to light. Soon after the auditor began asking questions, Sinclair stopped showing up to work. Eventually, the accounting problems were referred to authorities.

'It will happen again'Gaul said Sinclair was trusted with the company's finances. "She came up with us," Gaul said.

He also acknowledged that the company should have had safeguards in place to guard against the theft but said Sinclair was a highly trusted part of the company.

"It's another case of a trusted employee stealing from an employer," said prosecutor Lester Blizzard. "It's happened before, and it will happen again."

Blizzard said Sinclair was charged with the first-degree felony of theft because of the amount involved. If convicted, Sinclair could face a punishment ranging from probation to life in prison

*Sigh* Now why did she need all of that stuff? That's the greed of the green man. She cost people their jobs, sold her soul and now gave up her life for furniture, paintings, rings, shoes and sunglasses. Damn shame. When will we learn. Wait, we never will; not until it's too late anyway.

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PCD posted a blog asking which movie we wished we could star in, and at this point in time that I wish I were Adam Sandler in the movie Click. I would take that special remote and rewind to the beginning of my 3 day weekend; which began Thursday night and ended just hours before having to get up this morning for work. Family, food, movies, friends, parties, liquor, sex and sleep. Can't beat that.

Thursday I opted against letting go of a possible good friendship. I believe this is a test for me and I almost failed. My temper got the best of me and I faulted that person for being who they were. That's not a good look and I checked myself. When I get so use to people acting a certain way with me and around me; I don't know how to act when someone comes into the picture and acts the exact opposite. Should I fault them for that? Who said that they had to live by the manual that I wrote? Nobody. Does this make me want this person more? Hell yeah, loll. However, she is suffering from an extreme case of "The Turtle Syndrome". She's in this I've-been-hurt-bitch-back-the-hell-up shell. She's "tight like Chinese connection"! We're both on this, let things flow as they are kick, but I'm sure that if things play out correctly then one of us will have to put up some effort and contribute some energy. I don't even want to think about that though. I have lost count on how many times I've contributed energy and false hope into worthless females. I'm not really trying to go there again. I can say now that I understand where this woman is coming from and how she operates, so I'll let her do just that. We can kick it whenever. I haven't spoken to her all weekend, because she was out of town. I told her to call me when she got back into town if she wanted to. We'll see if she does. In the meantime, I'll try not to look at the clock.

Aquarius - July 7, 2008

As usual, you are able to float with the odd and wonderful circumstances that come up in your life, dear Aquarius. However, make sure that instead of just going along passively with the prevailing energy of the day, that you actually take an active part in it. Join in the dance instead of just sitting back and watching it. You will have much more fun than if you were to just on the sidelines.

Someone told me the other day to not be a wallflower. I didn't know how to take that comment, loll. Then I thought about it. I do tend to sit back and peep the scene a lot. Do I feel like I miss out on a lot because of this? Sometimes. Then again, I have dodged many stray bullets because of this as well. I do not jump head first into any situation. I analyze everything from top to bottom; side to side before joining in the festivities or what have you. I believe I get this from both of my parents. They are very cautious people. My mother is a worrier and my father is thinker and planner. Mr. "I always have my shit together", loll. Both parents being extremely logical people. I took on all of these traits and have multiplied them times 10. These make up my best qualities and also my worse qualities. I am my own worse enemy, as many of us are. So in order for me not to be that wallflower, I must psyche myself out. That's not always the easiest thing to do. I succeeded in this task over the weekend though, and let's just say; some things popped off that really didn't need to be popped off. I still dodged the bullets though, so I'll look at that as being the bright side.

Now here I am back at work and still not thrilled about it. I anticipate this to be a good week for me though. I'm remaining pretty positive in my thinking, I'm happy and living life fabulously. I'm comfortable here on the wall checking out the scenery. Some may call me fearful, others may call me smart. I'll have some to label me as boring and other who'll label me as the bold mental assassin (wait maybe I'm the only one who calls myself that, loll!). Either way, I'm going to remain being the wallflower I am. Can't nobody tell me anything. I'm the freshest muthafuckin' wallflower you've ever seen.
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Wanted - T. Nicole's Movie Review
Me and my big sister decided to finally go see wanted Thursday night. I was anticipating this movie for so long. I am a sucker for action and sexy women playing the role of bad girls.

James McAvoy - Wes Gibson
Morgan Freeman - Sloan
Angelina Jolie - Fox
Terence Stamp - Pekwar
Thomas Kretschmann
Common - The Gunsmith

I don't think any other woman could've played this role like Angelina. I haven't kept up with all of her movies, but she seems to look the same in all of them for the most part. Besides Tomb Raider; she finally snagged another role to fit her. The woman has mad sex appeal. Women and men; gay or straight recognize this.


The special effects sort of reminded me of the Matrix. Who didn't love the special effects in that movie? Some things looked a little faked and extremely animated, but they were good nonetheless. Thoroughly I enjoyed the movie and I would actually go to see it again. If you're really not into action and killing; you won't like the movie. Check it out anyway.


A Fraternity of Assassins
T. Nicole rates this movie with 4 stars!
College Wednesday - Know Somebody Like This?
This day isn't going as bad as I thought it might. I'm still anticipating people giving me crap loads of work at the last minute though. I couldn't miss out on the C-Dub post. So welcome to College Wednesday; where we summarize 99% of the people you'll ever meet in college or in life. This week we introduce the Guy/Girl with Inhuman Halo Skills and The Hertic.

Guy/Girl With Inhuman Halo Skills - This person doesn't have "mad skills"; instead, there is no word in the English language that properly describes how good this fucker is with a plasma rifle or pistol. They look rather ordinary, with no unusual physical features, nor obvious personality quirks. But give em' an Xbox, and a copy of Halo, and prepare to have many recurring nightmares of what you're about to see. They quite literally can chuck a grenade at a difficult to reach weapon, and the explosion will launch the said weapon straight at em', as if they were pulling it telekineticaly. They know the location of every item on every map, and they know exactly when that item is going to re spawn.

Okay, if you're like me; you have no idea what Halo is right? Well, it's a video game of course. I have never played it nor do I have the desire to play it. But we all know at least one video game fanatic. I mean they are addicted! They will literally play all night long. Do they go to work? Yes, but they will head straight home to beat the next round of whatever game they're playing. I'm not going to lie, I was like this with two games. That was The SIMS & Grand Theft Auto! I could not be pulled away from these games. Once I kicked the addiction, I vowed never to pick up another PS2 controller in my life, loll. My skills were beyond mad. I was the SHIT on both of these games. So I can't even be mad at The Guy/Girl With Inhuman Halo Skills; play on player.

Heretic - Exact opposite of The Converter, this person hates all forms of Religion and despises God. used to be devoted to a faith, but lost his or her faith through some event int eh past, such as a major physical/psychological trauma. This person loves to quote John Milton, and argue with others who believe in God. I can't say I know many atheists, but I will say the ones I came across accidentally led to a very awkward situation. I mean any and everything I said that related back to a higher power was shut down by their dark and evil spirit. "THERE IS NO GOD!" "WE WERE ALL LEFT HERE TO DIE" "DEATH IS POWER" Wtf? These are examples of conversations you leave with the quickness. Have Mercy! "MERCY IS IN THE HANDS OF SATAN" Man what?! I mean I'm not one to knock a person for what they believe in or what they don't believe in. I just don't want to be struck down in the process of accepting you for who you are. Feel me? I know that won't happen though, because God loves all his children; even the non-believers. He is that kinda dude. So he wouldn't strike me down just by association. You have to be one DEEP individual to come up with theories that God does not exist. You are above and beyond....stupid? Loll, not let me not go there. I'm not feeling organized religion now days myself, but I do and always will believe in The True God Above and His Son. They get me through all of my days and this is greatly appreciated. So keep your blank pamphlets. I've made my choice and I'm sticking with it.

Alright lunch time is over and I must get back to work. I'd much rather be playing The Sims 2 ;] See ya'll next week.
That New New
It is definitely crunch time here in the office today. For some strange reason, someone had the bright idea of pushing all deadlines up to this afternoon. I'm not going to worry about it though. Breaking my neck on the job is not something I plan to do. I'll do what I can and in whatever time frame I can get it done in. If I'm not given things until the last minute, it's therefore not my problem. Talk to the people giving me shit at 11:59. They are good for that over here and I'm good for not doing it until the next day, loll. They all can kick bricks.

Something has been boggling my mind the past couple of days. At what point does one stop giving people the benefit of the doubt? When is it time to say, "okay, you've had your chance to prove your worth in my life and you've failed"? We all have standards; don't front, and sadly enough everyone we encounter will not meet those standards. This is one thing I hate about meeting new people. They do and say all the right things in the very beginning. That sense of "newness" is a MOTHER. It's proof that the grass is greener in that new territory, but you find out after a couple of days or maybe even a week that they don't water that grass daily. Now it's all yellow and patchy. Ugh. "New people naturally spark interests and most are on their best behavior. If they never had it, the act won't last long." This was quoted from a friend of mine. This is so very true. If you sit and wait long enough, people's true colors will surface. They aren't that same intellectual, courteous, kind and considerate person. Their speech changes, their tone changes, most things spoken of in the very beginning are never heard of again, no more "how was your day?", no more "good morning", no more 2 hour conversations. Silence has taken over. What a bummer.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)

You don't want anyone questioning your ability to do your job and if your capability is being challenged now, you might just retreat into your shell. It's not that you are timid; it's just that you don't want to waste time and energy defending yourself when you could be finishing your chores and then going off to play. Avoiding emotional drama for a day or two may be the easiest way to get through any current awkwardness.

Wasting my time and energy on anything is a big problem for me. It takes quite a while for me to find worth in people to place my loyalty in. I've become the queen of moving the hell on in my older years. There really isn't enough time in my day to linger around people I know won't make the cut. I know if you will make it or not probably after one brief conversation. I try not to judge though. This is where I begin to give people the benefit of the doubt. This is where I become silent so that all of my assumptions can be proven wrong. Shut me down; please! This rarely happens though. Some people surprise me though. Their game is stepped up tremendously or I read them all wrong. Needless to say, those people are still in my circle. They are still apart of my network. Being in my world is not for the weak hearted or the weak minded. Either you got it or you don't.

Yesterday I wrote a blog on peace and understanding. Yes my standards are pretty high and I can be fairly shallow, but to avoid disappointment and to keep the peace; I don’t expect anything from anyone. I've said it so many times before. Everyone was who they were before they stepped foot into my life. People rarely change. Most things are just disguised; quite nicely, I must say. However, if you look deep enough and listen long enough, you'll see those things being so beautifully disguised. Classic example; the other day I was talking to a young woman for the very first time. Extremely beautiful; fine than a muthafucka. She starts off by telling me she was shy and wasn't the talking girl. Less than 5 minutes later; I couldn't get her to shut up if I tried. What was she talking about? A whole lot of nothing! I jumped in this one-sided conversation and brought up the fucked up conditions of the economy and she grew silent. *crickets* Completely blowing off my attempt for a meaningful conversation; she mentioned that she didn't watch any television for various reasons and tried to stay off the internet because of weirdos. A couple minutes later she asked me about at least 7 music videos she's seen on BET and did I YouTube much. "I thought you didn't watch television." (Oh, I'm tripping BET isn't TV; it's an evil brain warp for helpless Negros, lmao). This young lady, being a proven case.

Bottom line being; people just aren't equipped with substance anymore. Nobody has anything to say anymore. All I hear is gibberish. I think I'll go against my scope though. I'm not really feeling like retreating back to my shell again. I don't plan on running into any emotional drama either, because of the peace and understanding I have within today. This can be a test for me. Do I feel a bit awkward? Hell yes. Why? Sometimes; just sometimes, it sucks being the only one of my kind in this big world.
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I can't believe how fast June flew by. Now here we are at the 1st of July. Seriously into this summer thing and it's hot. REAL FREAKIN' HOT. That's Texas for you though. I can't say that I accomplished everything that I hoped to accomplish last month, but those short term goals were not forgotten. This is the month that I will follow through. I got back on track with paying my parents back, buying things for my apartment, keeping my car maintenance up, and keeping my job performance in excellent status. Last month my focus was on solitude. Getting my mind right and taking my time out alone away from the pressures of my every day life. So this months focus goes hand in hand with last months. Mr. Albert Einstein brings us this month's quote.

"Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding." - Albert Einstein.
I have always tried to keep the peace in all situations that I experience in life. For the longest time I would have these internal battles with myself because I didn't understand why I couldn't get my point across or why no one was really hearing me. Everything was always left over my head and up in the air. Everyone who knows me, knows that I HATE things being left in the air. So therefore the peace isn't kept within. I want to try an accomplish this during the month of July.

Understanding is said to be the key. I understand that life is only what I make it and I'm a peace with that. I understand that people aren't meant to be in my life forever and I'm at peace with that. I understand that everything that spills from my lips won't be agreed with and I'm at peace with that. I understand that every way that I'm stuck in isn't accepted by all and I'm at peace with that. I'm a peace with knowing that I'll forever be misunderstood. I'm at peace with understanding that my expectations of people will never be met. I want to maintain this peace by taking things just as they are. Do not force the unwilling or the impossible. Something else can be done with my time. Worrying why something isn't being done as I'd do it or why this person just said this or isn't saying that is a waste of my precious time. All major things are left in God's hands so why should I sweat the small stuff? Absorb it, understand it and become at peace with it. Facing the fact that the world can't be changed by one person and that the people in it won't change is a very important factor in peace within.

I've witnessed so many bad situations occur because of misunderstandings. It's true that now days people aren't even trying to understand. Their ignorance is bliss. They speak without listening to what has already been said and what is being said. They hear no one but themselves. Ever been the victim of a one-sided conversation? This happens to me all the time. Either I'm cut off for bullshit or I'm totally dismissed for something that they feel is more important than what I just said. Who really cares about me outside of my family? Who really wants to listen to what I have to say? Why do I grant everyone with the opprotunity to be heard before my words are spoken? Who knows, but hey, I do understand that the majority of the world is self-centered and ignorant and I'm at peace with that. Deuces.

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