Kill Em' With Kindness
In honor of my hectic week ahead; I know I'll need some inspiration, so this quote came right on time. It deals with kindness. I know that when I'm in my serious business mode, it's hard for me to remain in a kind spirit. Especially due to the fact that I don't consider myself to be all that kind most of the time anyway. I avoid people at all costs and I especially avoid conversation and any type of encounter with them. However, when I do have to speak to them I do try to be a tad bit kind, it just doesn't always come off that way. I notice that my co-workers will say good morning to everyone in my cubicle and skip over me. I know that this is because I've probably grumped at them in the past and they've learned their lesson. I'm at my kindest state when no words are exchanged. I'm going to make it a goal to work on that this week.

"Each person has inside a basic decency and goodness. If he listens to it and acts on it, he is giving a great deal of what it is the world needs most. It is not complicated but it takes courage. It takes courage for a person to listen to his own goodness and act on it." – Pablo Casals.

I am always quick to say I do not have time to deal with something or someone. I have always felt that me not getting involved in things is the best thing for me. I recite arguments within that I feel will justify my inaction. I will drown out that little voice inside my head called my conscience in a heartbeat. So I ask myself; do I have the courage to listen to the intrinsic decency and act on the promptings of inherent goodness?

Sympathy is something I do honestly try to have for people. I don't understand why this is so hard for me sometimes. I am always getting told by my supervisor at work to be sympathetic with my customers who call in. It's not the fact that I don't know those people, but it's just that I feel that we all go through things, but 9 times out of 10 people make things worse than what they really are. I'm always telling people to "stop crying and man up!" Life to me is too short to be crying over spilled milk. However, I do realize that some people out there do just need a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. I always feel uncomfortable in these situations. I do try to give the best advise I can give; which most of the time comes off as too raw. So I find myself apologizing a lot because of my lack tact and empathy.

It's said that being kind takes patience and understanding. Honestly speaking, I don't have patience for people who don't understand themselves. Who am I to tell you about YOU? I feel that you should already know. Why is it so easy for me to read people that can't read themselves? Perhaps they are ignoring the voices in their own head; causing them to be in extreme denial. That's a totally different subject though. Being kind for me sometimes causes me to dismiss the obvious and listen to what could be labeled as bullshit. It's also said that kindness cannot and should not be a platform for indulgence or permissiveness. True kindness firmly refuses to indulge someone in what is not good for that person. In other words, I'm the last person you need to come to, loll. I can be a bit of a bad influence and detrimental to the human foundation.

I will say that I have my moments and it does feel good when I know I've helped someone through something. I can't lie and say that I don't play favoritism. I tend to be much more kind to those that have earned their way into my heart. I honestly do want to stop doing this. I know that there are people out there who take advantage of those naturally kind souls and I've always said that I do not want to be that person. I'll be damned if someone walks over me and takes my kindness for weakness. So I've built this extra tough layer of skin over my softness. Hardly anyone makes it to that softness. Now that I think of it, the last person I tried to be genuinely kind to shut me down repeatedly. I think the world is so use to cold hearted ways that people portray that they don't know how to react when someone is actually being kind to them. So when I began to retreat back to my "hard and aggressive" ways; she accepted them with open arms. Odd.

However, I do know that kindness is an act smiled on by God, and anything that makes Him smile I want to portray. I believe with my current life experiences I can decipher between deserving people and undeserving people. I know who will take advantage of my kindness and who will humbly accept it. So this week I vow to being more kind to those around me. I will try and say good morning to everyone I see and give them a warm smile, instead of my usual half smirk and clenched teeth. I will try to willingly help everyone without spewing sarcastic remarks at them of them being able to do it their damn selves. I'm sure they will think the world is ending tomorrow and will retort their own smart remarks, but I'll do my best to ignore them. This new leaf is being turned over. Hopefully I won't get discouraged and end up using that same leaf as toilet paper and telling everyone to kiss my ass.
Play Time Is Over
Is anybody else as tired at I am? I am so thankful that this is a short week, because I have a feeling I might not make it. My weekend was pretty long. Too much moving around and more drinking was done Friday night than anticipated. I'm not sure if anyone has played the game "Dirty Hearts", but if you haven't; don't bother trying. My dirty laundry was aired completely out in front of a few strangers and close friends and I fell flat on my face after many shots downed there after. Needless to say I could NOT feel my face the next morning. Found out later Saturday afternoon that some things were done that I don't even remember. Ah! Hate when that happens. I called myself trying to rest on Saturday and recover fully from my hangover, but I still had to go to work and chilled with a friend afterwards; which ended up in me leaving her house well after 3 am. Did I go straight home? Of course not. I finally made it home and laid out around 5 am. For some strange reason; I woke up early on Sunday morning and cleaned up my apartment. I grew tired again after I finished, but I downed a Red Bull and went to a late lunch with a friend and hung out with her for the rest of the evening. My weekend ended about 11:30 last night. *Sigh*

So here it is Monday morning and it's the end of the month! Double trouble. I have so many deadlines to meet by Thursday; I want to cry just thinking about it. The bright side is that working diligently will make my days go by faster. So whatever.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)

It's refreshing when you feel creative and a playful approach seems to make you more productive. But your easygoing attitude today can be deceptive. Although you can skillfully disarm someone else's aggression, you are still ready for serious business at a moment's notice. Use your ability to shift between the extremes -- lighthearted and heavy-handed -- to take command of a situation at just the right moment.

So playtime is over. I had a nice time playing though. Thanks to the ones who let me play, *winks*. Good times. However, the currents have shifted, and this week is all about business. Forgive me if I'm not my usual self. Just as a warning; approach with caution. I'm in rare form.
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Feel Me - Weekly Re-Cap
"Forgive me for my aggressiveness, but you're going to feel me today!"

Yes, yes ya'll it's Friday again! It's not a pay day weekend and I won't begin to express how much that sucks. I'm just happy the week is over. I have an eventful weekend planned ahead and I hope to enjoy myself to the fullest. Even if my pockets aren't on swoll, loll. I started out this week with all smiles and I'm still smiling. So many blessings behind that, because we all know how dark clouds can form out of nowhere it seems like. Our mood changes with our luck, but thank God none of that happened this week.

I think I ran out of fingers counting how many times I've been called "odd" this week. I've also been told that I tend to force my beliefs on other people and that I leave little or no room to be persuaded into thinking differently. What can I say? I'm set in my ways. Usually when I say something; I stick with it. I do NOT back down when it comes to my beliefs, theories, and perceptions. When it comes to a good debate, I usually knock 'em dead. Like you're going to feel me today son!

Friday, June 27, 2008

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)

You have the intensity of fire in your eyes now and the strength of your conviction can actually be scary to someone close to you. Although you don't necessarily feel angry, it's apparent that you will fight for what you want. If others seem confused by your intentions, assure them that you mean no harm and that you are just very passionate about what you know. Then, take a deep breath and tell your story.

I've told my story a million times, but every time someone new comes into my life I have to re-tell it of course. I have no problems in doing so either. Harming someone who I will possibly care about in the near future is not my cup of tea. I like to lay everything out on the table from jump. This causes for no surprises later. You know what I'm about, you know what I've been through, and you know where I'm planning to go with mine. My opinions are strong now days, because they were so hidden in my younger years. My mouth was always glued shut for fear of no one hearing me, or even worse; no one wanting to hear me. Once I got tired of that; I spoke up. Like ya'll gonna hear me today son!

So forgive me for my aggressiveness, because I am very passionate about my beliefs. The way I express myself is my showcase to the world. I express myself grammatically, understandably, and without ambiguity; which makes me a pearl of great price. Tell me your desires, fantasies, wants and needs; I shall deliver the best way I can. Coming to you hard and raw baby; like I know you feel me today son! Take that.

Nikki Part VIII
Nikki Part VIII

I couldn’t bear to tell my parents the entire story involving the chain of events that have been taking place for the past few weeks. I know how worried my mother can get and my dad will be in somebody’s prison trying to protect me. That’s the last thing I needed, so I told them that I just had a scare at my house and just needed to be close to them. Besides, I hadn’t seen them in quite some time. I have been so busy with my patients that I have been neglecting my poor parents. They seemed to have bought the story and didn’t say anymore about it for the rest of my unexpected trip.

I spent a few days with my parents until I decided it was time to bite the bullet and go back home. My secretary must have been going crazy, because I had 12 voicemails from her when I finally turned my phone back on. Now I felt bad for leaving her out on a limb like that. I have to do something nice for her once I got back.

The ride back wasn’t too bad; I prayed the entire way, and when I turned into my neighborhood my chest started to pound. I had a very funny feeling, but I took a deep breath and pulled into my driveway. Once I got inside everything looked the same way that I left it. I saw the light blinking on my answering machine out the corner of my eye as I was unpacking my suitcase. I glanced over and saw 12 messages. The same amount that was on my voicemail. I really didn’t want to listen to them, but my curiosity got the best of me and I pressed play.

“You have 12 new messages; first message recorded yesterday at 1:00 pm.”

“Niecey where are you? I haven’t heard from you in three days. This isn’t like you girl. I’ve called your cell phone a few times and it keeps going straight to voicemail. I hope you’re okay. Call me as soon as you get my messages.” That was Cassie and I could’ve sworn I called her the morning I arrived at my parent’s house. Why is she leaving another message?

“Second message recorded yesterday at 1:45 pm.”

“Baby girl your mother and I are worried about you. Your number keeps showing up on this here caller ID. You left in a bit of a hurry yesterday, call us soon baby. We love you and we are here if you need us.” What on earth is going on!? I just left my parent’s house. What is daddy talking about; yesterday? This does not make any sense. I sat down on the bed, because the room was beginning to spin. The next four messages were from my secretary. She sounded frantic on every one of them. Apparently Nikole Seasons has been calling the office for me every hour on the hour and is threatening her. What have I gotten myself into? I have heard of patients stalking their doctors, but this is a bit much. What does she want from me?

“Seventh message recorded yesterday at 2:12 pm.”

“Denise I need to talk to you. I am sorry for involving you; I just didn’t’ know what else to do. I needed to tell someone…” I have never heard this voice before. Who was that? I heard a bunch of rustling in the background and a loud pop. “I’m sorry Denise! I really am! Help me!” Now I knew that voice. That was Bobbie. I grabbed the phone and surfed through my caller ID to see what number she called me from. I recognized the first 6 number, but the last 6 were all from the same unknown number. I let the messages finish playing through and the next 4 messages was of the same loud pop I heard in the background of the message Bobbie left.

“Twelfth message recorded today at 2:12am.”

“Denise we need you. It’s time we all sat down and had a talk. Come to the Sunset Hotel; room 212. The door will be open.” Nikole Seasons is one person I could have gone through my entire life without meeting. I don’t know what this woman is all about, but if she wanted to talk, we could. I was ready to get down to the bottom of this and put it all behind me. I hate when my life is interrupted and now I’m pissed off.

I sped through the city and finally arrived at the Sunset Hotel. I can remember coming here a long time ago with Kelli when we first started dating. We use to have our weekend get-away here once a month. At this moment in my life I really missed her. I needed her shoulder to cry on and I needed to feel her arms around me for security. I have no idea what is happening to me, but I know that if she were here everything would be alright. I yearned for one more get-away with her, one more glass of Champaign, one more hour in the hot tub, one more kiss, and one more spine tingling orgasm; all of which use to happen right in this very Hotel.

I escaped my miserable trip down memory lane and got out of the car. As I entered the revolving doors of the Hotel, the fresh smell of pastries hit my nose. The aroma was coming from the bakery right off the lobby. Usually there were people scattered around, but there was no one in sight. I headed toward the elevators and I heard the gentleman at the front desk, “Welcome back Ms. Seasons.”

I stopped dead in my tracks. “What did you just call me?” I asked.

“Ms. Seasons?” he said looking confused.

“My name is not Ms. Seasons.” I said with a slight attitude. What the hell was wrong with him?

“Okay ma’am. I thought you were Ms. Seasons in room 212. You are the spitting image of her. You even have on the same outfit. I do apologize ma’am.” He nervously said. At this point I rushed past the elevators and to the stairs. I ran up to the second floor and took off down the hallway. I abruptly stopped when I reached room 212. The door was ajar and I slowly pushed it open. I heard sobbing noises as I walked in. I saw Nikki sitting on the end of the bed attempting to dry the ever flowing tears draining from her eyes. The front desk attendant was right; we did have on the exact same outfit.

“Nikki what is going on and where is Bobbie?” she started to sob harder and she fell from the bed to her knees. “Nikki, I need to know where Bobbie is and what the fuck is going on! Who are you?!” I yelled. I was losing my cool and that was something I never do. I kneeled down on the floor and grabbed her by the shoulders until she looked me dead in the eye. I repeated my question again, “Nikki, where is Bobbie?”

She looked at me with an enormous amount of sorrow in her eyes and said, “I am Bobbie.”
Expanding My Comfort Zone
"Lets put underware on our heads and talk about politics."

I woke up this morning half blind. I really need to schedule an eye appointment, before I knock myself out running into walls. I stayed up rather late last night, which I need to cut out foreal. I can't be up all night anymore like I use to be. But everyone knows, when the conversation or situation is right; you lose track of time. They say it flies when you're having fun. Witty conversation and secret thoughts of sexual eruptions will do that to you, lmao! So I'm not complaining one bit.

I am about to admit something that people have been telling me for years. I am an uptight, straight edged, prick. *Sigh* I sometimes envy how free spirited people can be, and live with what seems like not worries at all. For the life of me, I can't function without having control over everything. No matter how big and small it is. I MUST have control. "Loosen up Mica. It ain't that serious." Is what I always hear from my friends. Everyone knows I have a problem with randomness. I think it's irrational and unorganized. It stands for everything I am against. Ahhhhh!! It makes me want to pull my hair out! However, I have noticed that me being so uptight and organized in thinking and speaking poses as a problem when speaking to EVERYONE. I'm not feeling that. I want to be able to deal with it and not have a problem with it.

How does one accept something they've despised for so long? I mean I can get loose with the best of them and especially in other ways that will remain unspoken, loll. Just not when I'm dealing with someone new and ones I don’t trust. My good friends can testify to the fact that I sometimes can be a tad bit random if you catch me on a good day. It's only with them that I reveal this side to. I want to try revealing it to all, without hesitation. I think it'll be good for me. I think I'll find myself less and less irritated with people. Especially people I actually like and am trying to get to know. It's not fair to them that I write them off because of this simple fact. I know it makes some feel uncomfortable that they have to filter their conversations with me. Sorry ya'll! MY BAD. I'll get better with it, I promise. Mica makes no promises she can't keep.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)

Anything that's new and different will likely seem like a better idea now than the same old thing because you are seeking escape from your routines. But your rebellious planet Uranus turns retrograde today, so you may stop short of going over the edge. If you resist, you'll probably wish that you'd let go of control. But if you surrender to your whims you might wish you didn't. Whatever you choose, accept your decision as the best choice you could make at that time.

Fuck Uranus, loll. Although I have an "understanding" in how things will go down with this potential friendship I'm contemplating, I really dig this person. She's mean, slick mouthed and brutally honest as hell, but that suits me fine. The last thing I want to do is run her away, because I can't accept the fact that she's random. I can't accept the fact that she doesn't operate like I do. That would be a very dumb reason! So to you ma'am; bare with me if you will. *winks*

Alright, it's lunch time. I'm going to eat this wack ass lunch and add another edtition to the imfamous Nikki Series. Stay tuned.

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College Wednesday - Know Somebody Like This?
It's that time again. Welcome to College Wednesday; where we summarize 99% of the people you'll ever meet in college or in life. This week we introduce The Geek Provider and The Grade Inquirer. Didn't know my lunch hour was up already so let me make this quick!

The Geek Provider - The provider tends to be everyone's best friend when they need something from him. Of his various requests, he spends the majority of his time lofting and unlofting bunks, or fixing people's computers. When he is not doing this, the provider is somehow nowhere to be found. For extra fun, combing The Provider with The Foreign Silent Curve Destroyer.

This is sad, but and I feel sorry for this person. Just when they thought they had a friend; only to figure out that people only used them for their specific skills. They are good people though. They try their hardest to fit in and actually think that they were invited to a party because they were cool. In actuality they were only invited to work the camcorder, sync the iPod with the speakers or make store runs. Poor guy or girl.

Grade Inquirer - The G.I. immediately has to know what grade you got on a test the second you get it back. G.I. will not divulge their own grade if yours is higher. If G.I. did get a higher grade, they'll offer a sympathetic shrug and let you know you did better than so and so and keep your head up.

Lmao. I couldn't stand this dude. He was always anxious on the day tests were handed back out. He would be turned sideways in his seat waiting for you to get your results. He studies your face to see if it’s a good or bad reaction. Then he will ask you in a not so discreet way what grade you made on your test. 9 times out of 10 you don’t even know this dude; never saw him in your life. Your face will scrunch up like, "who the fuck are you?" and depending on your personality you may or may not answer his question. For those who are like me and you DO NOT respond to this nosey bastard; he'll still tell you his grade anyway as if you asked what his results were. "Well, I made a perfect score on my test. More than likely the highest in the class." You'll roll your eyes and bite your lip, because you don’t want to curse at this dude in class.

Alright I have to go now. See ya'll next week!
Ball Handles
Half way in; half way out! Happy Hump Day. This week has been good to me so far. I pray that it remains that way. I had a wonderful evening yesterday and watched the 2008 BET Awards in which I did a lovely review on. I wasn't all that excited about getting up this morning, but I did so anyway with a little prayer and request for strength and will power to keep it moving.

I don't have any witty words today. No beefs within myself or with anyone else today. Well, I take that back; I did tell somebody to kick bricks and never contact me again, but that person really isn't worth my words anymore, so blah. I'm genuinely happy today. I came to an understanding with someone last night; well a couple people for that matter. I'm satisfied with these understandings because it means I have no obligations. I have no commitments to anything and I can just "chill". It doesn't get any better than that.

Aquarius - June 25, 2008

Your thinking is quite clear today, dear Aquarius, and you will find that life in general is running quite smoothly. Your watery perspective on the world and its inhabitants is very much in line with where you need to be at this time. In other words, you are doing everything exactly right. Be yourself today, and let other people adapt to your way of thinking. There is no need to keep hiding the truth of who you really are.

I've grown accustom to letting people call the shots in my friendships/relationships. I would let them handle the ball. It was just easier that way. I can adapt to anything and that’s what I did. I voiced my concerns, wants and needs and they were met. If they weren't I would find myself sacrificing. Nah, nah homie, no more of that. If a person can't give me what I want, when I want it and how I want it; I need to move around to the person that can. Right now everything has been made clear about what I want and what I don’t want. I read a MySpace message this morning from someone who may be a little confused. I'll probably have to have a talk with her this evening, in hopes of not hurting her feelings. Leading people on is not the business and I can't lie and say I haven't done it before. I know what it feels like so I don't want to do anyone like that again. The truth shall be let out on that situation.

I have a handle on my life and everything involved in it. It feels so right. I was waiting for this feeling for so long before. I didn't think the day would ever come. Loving the place where I rest my head, loving the relationship I have with God, friends and family. Loving being single and being completely in love with myself. Loving life period. This is the true definition of "being fabulous". Allen Iverson don’t have shit on me. Check my handles son.
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BET Awards - T. Nicole's Review

I've never done a review on the BET Awards before. I've always been disappointed with the show to be honest. I fairly enjoyed this year though. It wasn't too ghetto. Well, aside from Keyshia Coles lovely family. *Sigh* I won't even go there.

Usher was the opening performance for the 2008 BET Awards. Let's just say; he's getting old. Usher is not the same performer that he use to be. I think every since Chris Brown hit the scene Usher's torch was put out. Love In This Club is my song, but I'd much rather have heard it in the club than to see Usher perform it.

D.L. Hughley was the host this year. He's no Monique or Steve Harvey; that's for sure. I wasn't amused at all. I think he's only funny when he curses. Maybe that's it. I thought I was tripping when he called Marvin Sapp, Warren Sapp. I thought maybe I had the man's name wrong all this time. I'm not hating though, D.L. is alright. He's just my personal least favorite King of Comedy.

I must say J. Hud looked GREAT. I caught her new video too that was premiered. The song has to grow on me though. Or maybe I wasn't listening, because I was blinded by her beauty. This woman can get it every freakin' day and 7 times on Sunday! Her segment with Terrance Howard was cute. I like him too; he's a charmer.
Hey, call me a groupie, but I love me some Chris Brown. He is a cutie and the boy can sing and dance his ass off! I knew he would win though; that was a given.
He's getting too grown though. All this fully clothed sex on the stage! Ciara looked good though. I wonder how Rihanna felt about this right here. She seemed to be cool with it. I'm sure she was singing Take A Bow in her head way before she even performed it. As usual though, I loved Chris Brown's performance. He killed it!

Texas is in the building! I was so happy that UGK and Outkast won this award. Almost brought a tear to my eye. I always enjoy seeing my Texas boys shining on stage. This was especially touching, because it was in honor of Pimp C; R.I.P. I grew up with UGK banging in the trunk of whatever car I was in. So yessir it's most definitely UGK 4 Life!

T-Pain looked a hot mess in this get up. I have to give him his props though. Between him and Lil' Wayne; a song just wasn't a hit in 2008 without either one of them on it. 2008 was definitely their year. I'm glad Kanye West won an award or he would've been bitching as usual. You know what though? He seems more humble in spirit. So congrats to Kanye; the king??? Hm.

A. Keys!! Either I've been sleeping on her or she's been eating some healthy down south food, because baby's hips were ridiculously thick! Mica likes! Happy she won and all that good stuff. We all knew she would. Her performance was awesome! She brought my favorite hips on stage with her! SWV, TLC and EnVogue! I haven't seen those ladies in a long time! They all looked good too! I'm not sure about T-Boz and Chili, but I was still happy to see them perform with Alicia.

Lifetime Achievement award goes to Reverend Al Green. Which is wonderful! Who doesn't love them some Al Green? I have an old soul and his music has always been up there in my music of choice.

I almost fell out my seat when I saw Maxwell enter the stage! Man still looks and sounds good too! He has been keeping us waiting for too long; where is the album Maxwell?! He sang one of my favorite Al Green songs; Simply Beautiful. He sang the best out of Jill Scott and Anthony Hamilton in my opinion. I love Jill Scott, but I'm not sure what she was doing up there last night. I was disappointed with her performance. Anthony Hamilton did good though; with his little country self. Didn't top Maxwell though. He knew he was missed too. Did he have to throw the Mic in the audience though? I hope no one got clocked upside the head. He'll be gone for another 5 years.

Then comes Mr. Al Green, Mr. "Let me do the sangin'" and I wasn't mad at him. The entire place was on their feet; with no ass left in the seat. Hell; I wasn't in my seat at home. Young and old. That's what I'm talking about. Everybody was grooving. His music just brings all black folks together. When an Al Green song comes through the speakers; let the 2 stepping begin! He deserved the Lifetime Achievement award. Go Al!

So Lil' Wayne closed it out last night. He did win an award; which was also expected of him. He tore it up on stage and performed everyone's favorite songs. He had the ghetto Tin Man, T-Pain sporting a "T-Wayne" shirt on. Not sure what that was about, but they still did a good job. So Lil' Wayne is hip-hop's savior huh? He has stressed time and time again that as long as he's here; hip-hop ain't dead. I have mixed emotions on that, because there are too many REAL hip-hop artists that are slept on and have been for years. I'm not hating on Wayne though, because he's actually been in my CD player all week. Nobody has proved him wrong though, so shine on Weezy Wee.

So all in all; I enjoyed the awards and I actually watched it all the way through. I don't think I've ever done so before. 2007 was an okay year in music. All artist that won an award; deserved it.
I Am A Martian

Welcome to another terrible Tuesday; just kidding. I'm alright this morning. I haven't hated Tuesday all month. Probably because I took off from my second job every Tuesday in June. However, this is my last Tuesday off from Comcast. Next week starts another week from hell; starting with Tuesday. Yesterday was a pretty good day, I suppose. I found myself to be a tad bit irritated by the end of it for various reasons. I've come to the realization that I analyze people too much and they always come up short. ALWAYS.

In the words of Weezy F. "They don't make em' like me no more. In fact, they never made em' like me before. I'm rare; like Mr. Clean with hair." Totally agreed Dr. Carter! We are not the same I am MARTIAN! It's official. I think with both sides of the brain, my heart is on the right side of my chest, I live in a different time zone, and so on and so on; I am just DIFFERENT. I can't keep running into the same exact problem with everyone I meet and blame them; it's me. I cannot fault them for not being anything like me and not understanding where I'm coming from. How could they? I was talking to someone about this last night and she helped me to realize a lot of things. She asked me have I ever been in total awe by someone. I had to think a long time. Usually if I started out in awe; it later turned into an AWW SHIT! HELL NAH! NOT YOU TOO! Or something like that. By the way, thanks Diamond; for listening and pretending like you understood, loll.

So my scope says no one is more adaptable to circumstances than I. I'm sick of adapting to be honest. I'm sick of wasting my breath on people who will either dismiss what I have to say or retort with something that has no sensible meaning what so ever. Does anyone have a focused brain anymore? "No, Mica you're just too quiet." Not really. I speak with it's worth it. I don't know about anyone else, but my words are priceless and precious. Why waste them? I don't speak to be cut off and forced into a moment about what's going on with a television show or what's going on in your background. I'd much rather stay quiet. Forgive me if I don't respond; what you just said means nothing to me. That's where I go wrong though. When I'm talking to someone, I give them my undivided attention, because clearly, yet MISTAKINGLY label them as worth it. I turn off my T.V, I ignore incoming phone calls, text messages (depending on who it is), I close my laptop and I'm focused on that person and the conversation at hand. 95% of the time; I don't get this same considerate gesture in return.

It's funny, my scope also mentioned that I would run into the narrow-minded and unreasonable. *sigh* Lord not today, please. Give me a break. I just got off the phone with an old friend and she suggested that I just remain quiet. She's been trying the same technique and it's remarkable what you find out about people. The question is; do I look over certain things and still peruse a friendship or continue to write people off like I've been doing for the past 3 or 4 years? I know everyone one doesn't own the same qualities and everyone won't be that entire package. Some will lack what others possess. Like my old friend said, "You might just have to build a repertoire." Hm, food for thought. I was so use to having just one good friend who was equipped with the entire package. Bitch, loll. I can't stand her for setting the bar so high, now it's hard for me to settle for less.

I'm going to try and keep these realizations in mind and stop writing people off so soon and so fast. I'm going to hold true to my forgiving and compassionate soul (or lack there of? Loll!) and turn this people analyzing thing down a notch or two. It's really not a good look, for certain people. I'm becoming more and more irritated and will more than likely end up a lonely old hag because of it. I am a Martian, but I'll socialize with the earthlings until I find someone of my liking and of my kind. Good luck you say? Thanks, I'll need it.
A Recipe For Great Blessings
Okay, I felt my day taking a slight turn and this only happened within 2 hours. No worries. I'm still all smiles. One of my expectations turned into a slight disappointment is all. It seems as if no one has anything significant to say to me today. I think I'm over it now though. So it's said that keeping the heart warm will bring great blessings. I can vow this to be true. When my heart is at it's warmest temperature; great things seem to happen. My days are so much brighter and the blessings come by the millisecond it seems.

Walk tall as the trees,

live strong as the mountains,

be gentle as the spring winds,

keep the warmth of the summer sun

in your heart, and the great spirit

will always be with you.

- American Indian Proverb, "unknown tribe"

I think the quote truly speaks for itself. Not really much to elaborate on when it comes to the meaning of it. Ingredients as follows; self esteem, strength, humility and kindness. Mix together in your heart and watch what miracles occur. This is the recipe for great blessings.

I can't say that everything has gone smooth for me this year thus far. In fact, a lot of fucked up things have occurred. I have taken it all in stride though. I've kept moving in life and have let none of it hold me down. People have made fun of my height for years and they still do on a day to day basis. I'm a Shorty; get over it, please. Truth be told; I do walk as tall as the trees. I stand high above so many; mentally and spiritually. So I continue to laugh at the immature remarks being spoken, because I know how tall I stand in life. I know how strong I am in life. I know that every trial and tribulation I experience will only make me stronger and wiser. I know that I can be hard at times and my skin can be very tough to break on the outside. I have a very big problem with letting people in my heart, but once you're in there; I can be the most gentle and kindest person you know. It just takes awhile to get there, loll.

All in all, I'm happy with the woman that I've grown to be. I wouldn't change me for anyone or anything. I'm confident in my thinking, actions, and all around being. People don’t like me, and I respect them for their opinions. Everyone isn't going to like who you are in life. Someone will always have a problem. I've proven to be a weirdo and one who is constantly misunderstood. I am a life long study that will more than likely never be figured out. I love that! I love the mystery behind my own eyes. I love the interest that are peaked within the first 5 minutes of conversing with me. Turns me on, haha. I turn me on! Too much information? Lmao, I'm sure. Sorry.

I want to thank my loved ones who have loved me since the beginning of time. Love is a powerful thing. When it's lost it hurts like hell, but when it comes back and is received all over again; the feeling is indescribable. This brings the warmth of the heart up a few notches and is THE GREATEST blessing of all blessings. So those who have stuck it out with me this year and who have not turned their backs on me, I appreciate you. I welcome the new comers into my life, because even though you've been here for a short period of time, you've still made an impact on my life. You all have added flavor to my great recipe for blessings. Because of you, I'm winning. The victory smells and tastes like a warm peach cobbler! Okay, Okay, I'm getting mushy. I must go now. Someone turned the heat on here at the office, so we all may die soon. So if you don't hear from me again; you know what happened. Peace.
All Smiles
Monday morning we meet again. I actually feel good today and I opt this day to be a great one. Very big difference from the morning I had on Friday. I woke up refreshed; with a smile on my face? Ha! Did I get any this weekend? No, I was actually good this weekend. In fact, I don’t know the reason why I was and still am smiling.

I had a good weekend. Work was extremely busy on Saturday, but I was glad since I was ever so anxious to meet up with someone I've been conversing with over the past week. It was going to be my first time meeting the person who has been stealing my thoughts and sending electric waves through my brain. We were suppose to go to the movies, but we both decided against that and planned on just sitting down face to face to get to know one another better. This made me nervous of course, because I'm quite shy when it comes to my first one on one encounter with someone I'm digging. So needless to say my stomach was swarming with butterflies all the way to her house. Why? Because this person intrigues me and she challenges my thinking. I haven't had that feeling in a long time. For the past 3 years, I've been the teacher. I've been the promoter and star of every intelligent conversation. I was leading a one woman band and having this break has been delightful. I can't help to wonder how long it'll last.

You know how you meet someone and you think they're so much different from the rest, only later to find out they are just crazier than the rest, loll. So I'm not going to analyze this one so soon. I'll let things play out and take heed to those pink flags that are on the verge of turning red. A couple things spoken of and heard in a conversation we shared last night turned me off just a tad, but they can be over looked. I do realize that my views, principles and every being is something that cannot be matched. So for me to expect her to be a certain way just because I am would be absurd. I'll stop writing on this one for the moment, because I don’t want to stick my foot in my mouth, loll. So more on this Aquarius VS Aries adventure later.

This weekend was quite lovely and I'm not even mad that it ended faster than anticipated. I hope this day will be a productive and blessed one for all of my family, friends and loved ones. I will try my best to be back later with the weekly quote. Happy Monday.
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Cynical Friday? - Weekly Re-Cap
Could this be a cynical Friday for me? For innocent people's sake; I hope not. TGIF though; happy the week is over. I went to bed last night kind of bothered on some ill shit. Me being the person that I am; I wasn't able to close my eyes in peace until I voiced my opinions, angers and polite "fuck you(s)". Yeah boi, last night Mica Mica was tight and for various valid reasons. Shall I list them? Great.

- Someone I thought was a very good friend of mine was suppose to take her first trip to Texas a couple months back. Of course the day she was due to fly out, some outrageous event takes place and she does not make it. Figures. Now, I honestly think the outrageous event was fabricated and she was hiding something. I voiced that opinion too. Of course she got mad and insulted that I thought she was lying. But trust me, if you heard the story; you'd think it was a lie as well. I kid you not. Things were never really the same since then, but I was led to believe that we got past it. But last night I go and read a blog she wrote entitled "My first trip to Texas". What?! So you couldn't call a bitch and let me know you were in town? You were in the club too? My spot; doing the cupid shuffle? Were you really still mad all this time? I mean you could've just told me that instead of making it seem as if we were cool. I respect people get mad and I respect some people don't get over it either. Early dismissal; you can go home.

- Yo on some real shit, I'm not ready for a relationship. The thought of it makes my skin crawl. So giving me ultimatums will only cause me to hit the pavement and move on to the next. I don’t want any agreements, I don't want to make any promises. This is what it is (whatever that may be)...period. If you're looking for security behind a title, look elsewhere. I can tell you I'll be here for you in every way that I can; for as long as I can and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I see that already. Do I love you? Hm, I like you like a WHOLE lot. Do I think about you? Yeah, I do. Am I fucking somebody else? Stop asking me questions you don't want to know the answer to. You know how I do things, because it was laid out on the table from jump. I'm not going to miss your feelings with sugarcoated answers. So don't ask. Kill that relationship talk for the time being; you're making me feel like R. Kelly applying his back mole removal cream. Nervous than a muthafucka! This shit might work and it might not! I'm not ready to find out.

- Anyone have Windows Vista? Does it still have some glitches in the software? I JUST bought a new laptop and it keeps shutting down on me. $900 later; I don’t need that to be happening, AT ALL. I'm taking it back to the store today and if it is indeed this Vista crap, they can put Windows '98 on my shit, because I know that has been perfected as old as it is! I need my laptop for various reasons and I'd like my shit fixed now, please.

Besides the things I was T'd about last night; this was a good week. It went by really fast and I am glad of that. I learned that people will always have something to say about you no matter what you're doing in life. Stating that I'm so fresh you'll want to compete for it is an understatement. Bitches are doing THE MOST! There will always be somebody trying to drag your name in the dirt. I could literally be walking side by side; hand in hand with Jesus Christ Himself and still have somebody throwing rocks at both of us. Miss me with that! Untouchable, please believe me. "I can't feel your shots, because I'm way above your aim." Dig that.

I'm going to reverse this day into a more positive, focused and glorious one. I'm still smiling as always, because nothing can take that away. The scope suggested that I use my heart today and not my cool logic. Hm, logically speaking, I don't see that happening. Happy Friday people; have a great weekend.
Nikki Part VII
I’m really starting to feel funny. I can’t ever remember feeling like this. Today when I woke up and saw Bobbie lying next to me, this weird feeling came over my body. I tried looking into the future and couldn’t see her in it. I don’t like the thought of this. She looks so peaceful and pretty soon she won’t need me anymore. I am not ready to leave yet. I’m not too sure if I ever want to leave. Bobbie has been a special case for me. I have never cared for a person as much as I care for her. She’s like a delicate flower and one must handle her with care. I have guarded her heart and held her under my wing for safety; only to have her eventually push me out of her life. What is happening? The walls are starting to bleed red and suddenly I feel hot. I jump out of bed and she jerks awake. “What’s wrong baby?” she wiped the sleep out of her eyes adjusting to the shock of being suddenly wakened.

How do I answer this question? What is wrong with me? Why do I feel so strong and have the urge to break something? This is scaring me. I run to the bathroom to splash some water on my face. I glance in the mirror and I don’t see myself. Who is this woman staring back at me? My soft angelic face is gone. My lips are so tight that I couldn’t push a smile through them if I tried. My eyes aren’t even the same color. I hear Bobbie’s phone go off right on the other side of the bathroom door. I already know who it is. I know it’s him. He is like an annoying mosquito that won’t go away. I want to squish him between my fingers until I see the blood of his victims leak out. I look in the mirror again at this stranger. She’s not bad looking. I’ve always been beautiful, but this woman has a different demeanor about her. I curve my lips into a smirk. Yeah she’s a bad bitch; I could get use to her.

I turned the faucet off and headed back into the bedroom. I am sick of this hotel room. I am sick of being hid in the shadows while he hogs the spotlight. “I can’t talk right now Derek, I’m in church.” She said in a low whisper. The lies keep coming every day a mile a minute. When will they stop? Do I just continue to sit back and let this happen? I’m supposed to right? I mean after-all I have a specific role in this woman’s life and I have a goal that must be reached. After that is done; we’re done. I grit my teeth at the thought of this. What does she see in him anyway? Sure, I’ll give props where props are due; he is a very handsome man. He is a deadbeat though. He uses Bobbie for all she has, and let him tell it; she doesn’t have much. I make up in all areas where this bitch lacks. I always do. So why is she still sucking this nigga’s dick? “I will call you when I am on my way home okay?” she awaited his response while looking at me. “I love you too.” I rolled my eyes.

“It’s time to go Bobbie, pack your shit so you can go back home.” I said rudely as I made my side of the bed. I jerked the pillow from underneath her and she fell over. I wanted to laugh, but this wasn’t the time for jokes.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” she asked with an attitude. This is something that we have gone over a few times before. I know she is not use to me getting upset about our secret relationship. Lately it’s just been taking its toll on me and I’m tired of it. “How many times do we have to go through this? He is my husband Nikki, and despite what we have; I’m not ready to reveal anything like this to anybody, let alone him.” She got off the bed and headed to the bathroom. “I thought we had this understood almost a year ago when we met. Was I wrong?” I know she wasn’t asking me that dumb ass question. Of course I know the understanding that we had. I know the understanding that I had with everyone I encountered. Was she serious?

I watched her naked body standing in front of the mirror. I have never seen a woman so meticulously sculpted. I remember thinking this same thought the very first time I laid eyes on her. I remember the night of the first time we made love; the sultry sound of her voice when she whispered the freaky things she wanted to do to me in my ear. The she made her next move her best move and chose me to be with. She appointed me as the one to ease her troubles away. We spent every moment we could together. I was her superwoman and she told me she loved me with a passion. So why is she still trapped behind the bars of her marriage? I shook my head of these thoughts, because I really wanted to get her out of my sight to be honest. “Just get ready Bobbie so we can go. Trust me when I say, this will never be brought up again.” We both finished getting ready and we checked out of our room; room 212.

I sat back for a damn year, watched and participated in those charades for too long. I was taught never to quit, and I really wanted to let Bobbie go and be miserable with her husband. I couldn’t give up though. I had to finish what I started. She has been drug in the ground by this man for fourteen years. She obviously wasn’t going to handle matters on her own, so she needed my help. It has been said before that you can’t help the helpless and you can’t rescue those who don’t want to be rescued. Misery loves company and that bitch was one hell of a hostess. To add to the bullshit cliché’s; if you can’t beat them, join them. This woman changed me and re-wrote my entire resume. Instead of saving her like I started out to do, I let her continue to be beaten every night by him. We kept up our normal routine and our regular visits to room 212. I love that number! 212 was the number found on the key that I purposely planted in Bobbie and her husband’s home. When he found out she was having an affair with an unknown person, he knocked two of her teeth out and punched her in the face twelve times. It wasn’t until he ran over her with his truck that she was left in a coma. She rested in St. John’s hospital, room 212. Derek fled the state, but was later found with two bullet holes to the head and twelve stab wounds to the chest. His body was flown back to his hometown where he was buried in Memorial Cemetery; row two, slot twelve. Bobbie was finally free of that filth she was with. When she came out of her coma, she lost her mind when she found out that her husband had been killed. What a dumb bitch! This man almost killed her and she was still crying over him. I guess her compunctious feelings got the best of her. So, instead of recovering, she went in a downward spiral until she was locked in an insane asylum; room 212.

The unfortunate series of events people bring on themselves. If only she would have loved me like she said she did. Let go of all else and let me handle everything. She could have been sitting pretty right now. She doesn’t have to be laying here in my arms like this. She looks so peaceful. I could look at her forever. I just might do that, hell, who is going to stop me? As I said, I’m unstoppable. I sat back rocking her in my arms; my delicate flower. I looked over at the clock on the nightstand. Guess what time it is? 2:12 a.m…
College Wednesday - Know Somebody Like This?
Yes, I know it isn't Wednesday. I didn't have time to post this yesterday, sue me. So welcome to a special edition of College Thursday where we summarize 99% of the people you'll ever meet in college or in life period. This week we introduce The Fuckin' Noo Yawker aka EMPIRE STATE COCK and The Dude Named Gary.

Fuckin Noo Yawker aka EMPIRE STATE COCK - A disproportionately large number of Fuckin' Noo Yawkers are criminal Justice, law, public administration majors. Actually from Long Island, the Fuckin' Noo Yawker has the uncanny talent of injecting the fact that they're from the NYC area into just about every conversation. They complain about just about every aspect of their college town, saying that it's inferior in some way to NYC. "You can't get a good bagel at 3:00 on a Sunday morning!" "The pizza here sucks!" They'll even take positive traits of their new surrounding and turn that into a negative -"The subway her in Washington is too clean! It's not a real fuckin' subway like in Noo Yawk, with litter, bums, rats, and the smell of piss and shit. That's real, not this sanitized Metro rail shit where they don' even let you eat a fucking pastrami on rye!"

I know this guy, I really do. I slept with his girlfriend in college. I wonder if that would've happened to him in New York? Lol, probably so, because dude was lame. Coming all the way to Texas to go to school was not anyone's fault but his own. Complaining about EVERYTHING! Relating every single conversation back to something in New York. Reminding us every time he got the chance to that he was from New York and not lame ass Texas. No we don't walk everywhere, we have cars SON! No we don't have underground transportation, but we do have ni*gas with bodies "marked up like a subway in Harlem." Nah, kid we don't have a fucking pastrami on rye, but we have fried bologna on white. No we don't have pizza slices as big and wide as your face, but we do have some bbq ribs that'll make you slap your "muvah". And wtf is a bagel? Lol, just playing, but take these country biscuits with sausage gravy and stfu. Ayo New York, don't like being outside of your city limits? By all means, just go back. We can communicate with one another on Facebook, holler.

"Gary" - Usually an unattractive guy who thinks he is a stud and acts like he is hung like a porn star. Thinks he can charm and seduce any woman by lecherously rubbing her back and give back massages while trying to undo her bra. Always touching up girls even if they give the message they are not interested, even in front of their boyfriend. But that’s cool, he has a black belt in Karate so he will be ready to fight off any pissed boyfriends. Carries a pair of handcuffs with him and loves to put girls through bondage in the pup even If they don't want it.

Wow, I knew this dude too. I knew him in high school and the bastard followed me to college. Keep in mind going into college I had a boyfriend. "Gary" didn't care though. He tried to sleep with me and every other girl on campus. For the life of me, I don't know how he even got his dick wet as much as he did. Must've been chicks with low self esteem. I can't lie, dude was a charmer, but also a slim ball! He was cheesy and corny. He tried to weasel his way into girl's dorm rooms however he could. Had boyfriend problems? "Gary" was the man to see you through those problems. Had academic troubles? "Gary" to the rescue, dude was a smarty pants too! He did not care if you were gay or straight, "Gary" had the solution to your every problem.

Okay, so again I apologize for my lateness on this post. I'd say it won't happen again, but I'd be lying. So thanks for checking out this Special College Thursday Edition, see ya'll next week.
Yeah Boi!!! The Big 3 Did It!!

I am so happy for this team right now. Talk about a deserving team! I HATE the Lakers and I always have. I am a BIG Kevin Garnett fan and I am so proud of him for helping lead this team to victory! (Shoutout to the rest of the team as well)
I love this man! (No hetero, lol!)

KG # 5 baby!

You did it boys! Congrats!
That 22 year stretch was long enough fellas.
Let's do it again next year!
Screw the haters! Pay me.

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Courtesy Flush; Honor Me One Time

It's been a minute since I've actually written anything. I've taken some time and put the pen down and just sat back to absorb and observe. I've used this time to read other people's words, listen to other people speak and watch how other people react in certain situations. I must say it has been a great form of hilarity. No offence to those I was laughing at, I'm sorry. When circus clowns perform, I laugh…period. I just can't help but to notice how much people are in competition with one another now days; especially people in the gay community. Come on now, we're suppose to be working together to be respected by society as a whole. How are we fighting one another and knocking each other down? Seriously, get a grip.

Aside from sexual orientation; people's confidence is at an all time low and this is why there is so much drama amongst everyone. So much shit is being spoken, no one is taking the time to flush the damn toilet. You're only funking up your entire being. What sense does it make to knock another man/woman's hustle? Dose it really make you feel that much better about yourself? Are you losing that much sleep at night that you have to sabotage someone else's life? These devious, spiteful, vindictive and conniving ways are played yo. You are the epitome of wack when you have to go out of your way to insult the next man/woman and what they're doing with his/her life. What business is that of yours anyway? Let's define the word irrelevant shall we? "Neither here nor there", "unrelated", "inappropriate", "beside the damn point", "unimportant". In other words; none of your damn business.

The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny — it is the light that guides your way.

- Heraclitus

Wouldn't it make more sense to live your own life and stay out of others? I don’t know about anyone else, but I want to define my own character and not have others define it for me. I want to define it in a way that no one will be able to match it. I want my ostentation to be something that is unreachable, irreplaceable and incomparable; which it already is, so I've surpassed my goal in that aspect. I'm downright flamboyant with an extreme sense of modesty. Contradiction? I think not; I am everything you find impossible to be. Stop watching me and watch yourself. Stop trying to do as I do and do what you do. My way is guided by the sun created by the hand of God. I can't help it if your way is dimly guided by a florescent bulb created by the hands of imperfection. That's your own personal problem. Don't take your misfortunes out on me.

Let me step off my soap box. As you can see, I just had to get some things off of my chest. I'm sure there are some people out there that feel the same way as I do. Or maybe you're one who thinks someone is actually in competition with you when they're really not, loll. I'm saying, we have those kind of people too. I suppose I have to go with my man Plies on this one; "If you're living a life with no haters, you're not doing something right." *Cocks fitted* one time for all my haters. I suppose If you have to be here at least do me a favor and honor me with a courtesy flush. Smelling your shit everywhere I turn is really not the business. Keep talking while I continue walking. Peace.
Nikki Part VI
Red and blue lights filled my living room from the squad cars swarmed in front of my house. I sat there staring at that tan tote bag I laid on my kitchen counter when I retrieved it from outside my backdoor. I was so lost and confused in my own thoughts that I was not listening to a word that was coming out of the young police woman’s mouth. “Ma’am, did you see anybody on the deck or in the backyard?” I slowly looked in the police woman’s eyes for the first time. She had been there for about fifteen minutes and I hadn’t seen what she looked like until then. She stood there with a look of concern on her face and a note pad in her hand. “Ms. Washington, are you okay?” she asked.

“Yes, I’m fine. No, I didn’t see anyone outside. It was pitch black.” I said.

“You didn’t turn your deck light on?” She asked raising one eyebrow.

I thought for a brief moment. I do remember turning on the light when I checked to see if the door was locked. “Oh my God.” I rubbed the back of my neck. I do this when I am worrying or deeply stressed about something. “I know for a fact I turned on that light and locked my back door. It’s like a nightly ritual I go through. I never forget to do those things.” I said, hoping to convince the officer that I wasn’t losing my mind.

“The perimeter is secure!” a tall lean police officer said coming from the bedroom. I really don’t know why he was back there, nobody came in the house. I suppose that was just part of his job. I am just glad the police responded so promptly. Had I been in the hood, I would’ve been dead by now.

“Ms. Washington, would you like a squad car to stay parked outside of your home for security?” The police woman asked.

“No, no I believe I’ll be fine. I’m just a little shaken up from the shock. I really do appreciate you all responding to quickly.” I gave them all a half smile and started walking toward the front door. I really just wanted to go to sleep. All three officers headed out the door. I know the neighbors are going to love this. Not one, two, but three cap cars lighting up the block at the only black woman’s home in the subdivision. “Thank you again officers,” I closed the door and checked the lock a billion times. As I was walking toward the back door I noticed that one of the officers had swept up the glass I broke when the alarm sounded off. That was sweet of them, because Lord knows I didn’t feel like doing that tonight. I had a funny feeling in my gut as I approached he back door. It was locked for sure. I tried to switch on the light, but for some strange reason it didn’t come on. I know that I just changed the bulb two days ago. Maybe I am just really tripping. Perhaps I pop too many Tylenol P.Ms every night. I took the tan tote bag off the counter top and opened it. It felt like it was empty, but there was a single piece of paper inside. It was a receipt from Toni’s Bar and Grill; the place where Bobbi and I had lunch a couple weeks ago. I looked over the items on the list. It was the exact same thing that she had when we were there; a pulled pork sandwich, wedge potatoes fries and a raspberry iced tea.

I decided to call Bobbie and get to the bottom of this. This is some shit that I’d rather not be going through right now, and I was going to end it. I hit redial on the phone, because she was the last person who I dialed before this insanity took place. There were a couple of rings and the line was picked up. “Hello Denise.” I wanted to speak, but no words would come out of my mouth. That was not Bobbie’s voice. I quickly hung up the phone. I knew that voice. It was a voice that was becoming more and more familiar to me; the voice of Nikole Seasons. What the fuck is going on! I dialed Bobbie’s number manually this time. “The number you have dialed is no longer in service. Please hang up and dial again,” said the voice on the other end. I just called this girl. How in the world was her phone disconnected that fast?

That was the last straw. I ran to my closet, grabbed my emergency suitcase, my keys and my cell phone. I set the alarm and hit the front door. You don’t have to tell me twice when it’s time to get the hell out of dodge. I decided I was going to hit the highway and make that 3 hour drive to my parent’s house. The comfort of my parents could cure cancer. I had a full tank of gas so I had no need to make any stops. I called my office and left a message for my secretary and told her to cancel all appointments for the next week.

I made it to my parent’s town around 4:00 that morning. I felt bad because I knew they would be sleeping. I had a spare key to their house, so I quietly entered. I tip toed to their bedroom and I heard both of them snoring. I didn’t even want to go up to my old room. I went straight to the linen closet, got a blanket and made a pallet right there on the floor at the foot of their bed. I felt better already being in their presence. I let the soft sounds of their snoring eventually drift off to sleep.

“Wake up baby girl.” I heard my dad’s voice as he lightly shook me. I slowly got up. “When did you get here?” He asked obviously surprised.

“Hey daddy, I got here early this morning. I am sorry I didn’t call ahead of time, but I needed to see you guys.”

“Hey baby! She’s awake.” He called out to my mama. She came running in the room. “What’s wrong sugar? Everythang alright back at home?” I knew he was worried about me. I looked up at mama; they both were.

“No daddy. Some crazy things have been going on. I’ll explain in a little bit. I am hungry though. Let’s go get some breakfast; my treat.” I said getting up about to head to the bathroom to freshen up.

“That sounds good to me, but before we head out. Somebody has been calling the house for the past two hours asking for you.” Mama said.

“Who is it? Is it Cassie?” I just remembered I hadn’t told her I was coming out here either. She was probably worried, since I haven’t called her like I do every morning.

“No, no it wasn’t Cassie. It was…hold on. I wrote it down on a piece of paper. You know my memory slips me something bad child.” She went into the kitchen to retrieve her note. “It was some child by the name of Nikki…”
Weirded Out
We're at the bottom of the week and it feels good. Time is going by so fast now days, it's scary. Can't believe we're already close to mid June. The end is near that is for sure, ugh and is anybody truly ready for that? If not, get ready, because it's coming! I could go on and on about the horrible conditions of the world and the people in it, but I'll stop right here. So enough on that depressing topic, loll.

So it's no secret that I love to write; hence the blog title, BlogSpot name and my prestigious lyrical swagger (ego stroker, dig it!). I am working on a novel and am writing a few short stories as well, that I may later turn into novels. As of right now, they are just a form of recreation for me and served a pastime for people interested in reading them online. The Reason; is where I write such stories, poems and go on my lyrical sabbaticals from time to time. Check it out if you please. Okay, so this brings me to my latest online short story, called The Nikki Memoirs. Most conveniently skip over this blog when I post, but that's okay. Those of you who are reading that series know that it's pretty much a psycho thriller. It's a bit out of my territory of writing and that’s why I enjoy writing it so much! It peaks my interest and I surprise myself so much every time I add on a new addition to the series.

So I'm actually tripping, because I've met a young lady who is exactly like this character in the Nikki series. Yo, and dig this; she goes by the name of Nikki. I won't go into detail about her personal business and why I'm so at a loss of words, but just know it's a little weird for me. It almost feels like I'm trapped between the lines of my own words. I don't really know what to make of it all just yet, but I feel like an inquisitive white woman who hears a loud noise outside her door at 3:00 in the morning. Instead of calling the cops, I go to the door and open it and yell, "hello". Goodness, I hope I don't get my head chopped off. That's usually the outcome.

Aquarius - June 12, 2008
The current astral energy enables you to see just how far you have become hooked into this current relationship, and whether this is healthy for you or not. It is fine if you are both happy with each other's company and are making progress, but if one or both of you are holding something back, then it is better to be honest with each other.

This young lady is indeed an interesting character, but I'm not sure if I should take heed to those pink, almost red flags and back off, or continue to proceed with caution. I've gotten advice from a couple of close friends, and because they know my track record with semi-insane women; they are telling me to run like the wind! Lmao, I may just listen to them this time.
Labels: , 0 th0ughtz | Links to this post | edit post
I've Been Tagged!
Ahh! I've been tagged by PCD ... here goes nothing!
MEME Rules:

1. Put Your itunes/ music player on Shuffle

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!!!After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves!


Slick Rick - Mona Lisa

Donell Jones - Special Girl


Bush - Swallowed


Shalamar - The Second Time Around


3 Days Grace - Riot


Plies ft. T-Pain - Shawty


Remy Shand - Take A Message


The-Dream - Falsetto (Um, wow! I think not!)


Trey Songz ft. Lil' Wayne - I Can't Help But Wait (Remix)

*WHAT IS 2+2?*

Dru Hill - In My Bed (Ha!)


Plies - Ol' Lady


Louis Armstrong - Heebie Jeebies


D'Angelo - Lady


Dwele - Find A Way


Phil Collins

Phil Collins - In The Air Tonight


Lil Kim

Lil' Kim - Respirator



Lil' Wayne ft. Static Major - Lollipop (yeahhhh)


raheem devaughn

Raheem DeVaughn - Woman


yung berg

Yung Berg ft. Casha - The Business


David Banner

David Banner ft. Chris Brown & Jim Jones - Get Like Me


Lil' Wayne

Lil' Wayne - Let The Beat Build


Goaple- Closer

Goaple - Closer

I'm tagging...

Hip Hop Addict

Mz. Butterfly

Aquarius Daisy

Peaceful Queen

Lady Writes The Blues

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College Wednesday - Know Somebody Like This?
Forgive me, because I am extremely sleepy right now. I suppose this is what I get for being up at all hours of the night cakin' on the phone like I'm 16 again. So I'm going to yawn my way though this one…Welcome to College Wednesday, where we summarize 99% of the people you'll ever meet in college or in life. This week we introduce The Frat Mattress and The Freakin' Disgusting C.S. Major;

The Frat Mattress - Shit…you're probably screwing her right now!

Ha! Well this was a very brief description. I'm sure we can all use our imagination with this young lady. She's into some very interest extra curricular activities. I'll just leave this one be…

The Freakin' Disgusting C.S. Major - Freakin' Disgusting Computer Science Major is the reason that you don't want to go to class. He bathes roughly once every leap year and wears the same "totally awesome" Japanese video game (the import version was so much better) shirt for half a semester at a time. No matter how far away you get from him, the stench seems to travel across the room and assault your nostrils. Freakin' Disgusting Computer Science Major has no time for the English language, and he will often ask questions that make little to no sense and lack any sort of "grammatical structure". He's the only character that can actually give Silent Foreign Curve Destroyer a run for his money on the intellectual scale, but that's only because he was probably born with knowledge of linear algebra and differential equations.

Wow, no offense to the Computer Science Majors who don’t smell and can speak well. I guess I've never met and C.S majors like this, and I'm thanking God. The last thing I want is for my nostrils to be assaulted by some unknown stench. I get irritable when I'm around smelly people and I tend to hurt feelings quicker than normal.

Man I promise to come harder than this next week. I can't feel my eyelids though, loll. I may have to indulge in a afternoon cup of coffee to carry me at least through my first job. I devote all faith in prayer this evening at my second job. Later people.
She Chop Blades Out Her Mouth

Déjà vu, yet another person who labels me as being cold hearted and mean. I've admitted time and time again that I don't sugarcoat what I have to say. If there is something on my mind, I speak it. Don’t me wrong, I do think before I speak, but what good will it do in sugar coating it? To spare feelings? Your feelings have been spared for years and you've been hearing everything but the truth. It's Mica's turn to speak. Let me tell you like it is. Who wants to hear the truth though? Seems like no one does.

I contribute the way that I am to my being so shielded when I was younger. I never felt anyone wanted to hear what I had to say or I'd be scolded if I spoke out of turn. So I'd rebel without saying a word. You didn't have to worry about me talking back. I did what I wanted to do and how I wanted to do it. Un-willing attitude is what was always on my behavioral reports in school. You could talk until you were blue in the face, there were no lines of communication open from me to you. That changed though. I got tired of people talking sideways to me and saying all of this ignorant shit. I would sit around and ask, "does anyone hear this bullshit but me?!" "Why isn't anyone acknowledging it?" So I started to speak up. I came forth with my witty yet intelligent responses. Shutting most people up, because they had no idea how to come back at me. It sort of amuses me. Okay scratch that, I think it's funny as hell actually. This is when I start to see how quickly people go into their "nigga moments". Lmao! They say, fuck coming back with anything that makes any sense at all, and curse me out. Or better yet, talk about my mother, who has nothing to do with their ignorance at all. In fact, look who she birthed. All credit goes to my mother, thanks. Or the classic response of , "WHATEVER"! Hand me the title, I have one yet another round in the battle of intellectual communication.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)

You are light on your feet and quick with your words today, able to charm others with your clever wit. Yet your brain could move so fast that you blurt out something controversial before you even get a chance to edit your reaction. Reprisal may be swift as someone makes you feel uncomfortable for overstepping your place. Don't try to rationalize your actions. Just apologize for any social faux pas and move on.

Sometimes I have to apologize for what may come out of my mouth next, or what just came out of my mouth. I'll admit, I do take it a bit far at times. Wipe your tears, I'm sorry. I try not to be verbally abusive and this is why I don't curse at people when having a disagreement. I say what I have to say in a mannerable tone, but my calmness is what makes people mad. This is when they start to curse. I'm not one who you can easily get a rise out of. If I see you trying to do so, I'll see to it that you never succeed at that task. Could this be yet another control issue? Do I have to control the conversation and only agree to things on my terms? Ahhhh! I'll use the same lie I've been using; I'm working on it, loll.
T. Nicole's Movie Review - The Strangers

I use to like horror movies so much when I was younger. However, they seem to be going more and more down hill every year that passes. Most horror movies that I dig are ones that can actually take place in real life. These still kind of scare me. The Strangers did not do it for me though, I must say. I anticipated this movie, because it looked interesting and it was yet another fucked up situation that took place in Texas. Does my state really have all the horrific serial killing monsters? I thought we gave that up with the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, loll.

The movie started rather slow to me. I was waiting for the punch line. I mean it was obvious that there were strangers in the house, but I was waiting for someone to get stabbed, tripped, scratched, punched or something! Somebody make a move dammit! A bunch of crying and screaming going on for nothing. The strangers that actually entered the house were weird as hell. They kind of freaked me out with those masks. Anything that resembles a clown terrifies me, period. That was the most scariest thing about the movie and that is only because I have my own personal phobias.

So of course the white woman fell. What is a horror movie without white women constantly tripping over the air around their ankles? Then after there it was nothing but limping. Typical! Geeze, can we have one white woman not fall and break her ankle?

I feel the strangers could've been taken by the unlucky couple in the house, but they were weak and scared. Wack. Another disappointing horror movie. I'll see what Saw V is talking about when and if it comes out this year.

T. Nicole's rating on The Strangers...2 Stars!

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