Earlier this week I spoke on the strong desire for some excitement in my life and of course it got me to thinking; *sigh* that what I could possibly desire is companionship. I hate the feeling of wanting someone else, although I know it comes along with the territory of being human, but damn! I've tried so hard to complete myself and consider being single as a good thing. Don't get me wrong, I love being single, but sometimes I do yearn to have some form of mental intimacy in my life. Usually during times like this I cross that danger zone and call up one of my exes and open up a can of worms that end up biting me in the ass. I understand the reason why I have been feeling this way when I read my horoscope this morning;

This isn't good man. I mean searching for security in my eyes is never good. Maybe that comes along with being the control freak that I am. How can I have total control and need someone as an emotional crutch at the same time? Major contradiction! However, maybe I need to just think like a human and give into my desires for excitement. Go out on a couple dates and actually answer a couple of the phone calls coming into my sidekick. I can honestly say that I had given up hope on dating anyone remotely close to what I desire in a woman. Every single person has fallen short; either by an inch or a mile. I made up my mind a long time ago not to settle for less, because I am so tired of playing the teacher role. I have to be the one to lead every meaningful conversation, I have to be the one to think the most logical thoughts, I have to be the one to bring up each and every intelligent argument and win them every time! I keep attracting these girls who are mentally under developed and don't seem to know who they are and what they want in life yet. I desire a woman who knows this already and can teach me a thing or two, challenge me mentally, verbally, sexually and spiritually; pull me off of my high horse and knock me off my damn feet.


So that brings me to the question; what's your pump size lady? Where is the woman that can actually fit the description of what I want? Am I asking for too much? Whats wrong with wanting a woman with the 3 B'? Brains, beauty and the booty? I'll keep it real and take 2 out of 3, because lately I haven't even been getting 1. I know that is rare for a person to find the total package and that is only because humans are never satisfied, so our potential mate will always be lacking something no matter what.

I know that the kind of woman that I am is hard to get along with. I have so many pet peeves it's ridiculous, I'm extremely technical and analytical. I have little or no patience and I have zero tolerance for ignorance. I am a very opinionated woman that says the first thing that comes to her mind. I can admit that I am very hard on my loved ones. I have to make sure people are truly worth having in my heart, more than likely out of fear of being hurt again. I'm moody, bitchy and down right mean. On the flip side, to those that deserve it; I'm compassionate, understanding, kind and generous.

I know I'm on some real fairytale shit right now; wanting that perfectly imperfect Cinderella to come and slip her beautiful pedicured feet into these pumps. The thought is nice, but realistically it might not happen anytime soon. My next mate might fall short again just like all the rest and perhaps I'll have to turn my fate over to the hands of time to mold that particular woman into what seems to be the right match for me.

I'm on some other shit right now. Perhaps a late night (one night) rumble in the sheets will cure these plaguing thoughts, loll. Just playing...