I woke up this morning half blind. I really need to schedule an eye appointment, before I knock myself out running into walls. I stayed up rather late last night, which I need to cut out foreal. I can't be up all night anymore like I use to be. But everyone knows, when the conversation or situation is right; you lose track of time. They say it flies when you're having fun. Witty conversation and secret thoughts of sexual eruptions will do that to you, lmao! So I'm not complaining one bit.

I am about to admit something that people have been telling me for years. I am an uptight, straight edged, prick. *Sigh* I sometimes envy how free spirited people can be, and live with what seems like not worries at all. For the life of me, I can't function without having control over everything. No matter how big and small it is. I MUST have control. "Loosen up Mica. It ain't that serious." Is what I always hear from my friends. Everyone knows I have a problem with randomness. I think it's irrational and unorganized. It stands for everything I am against. Ahhhhh!! It makes me want to pull my hair out! However, I have noticed that me being so uptight and organized in thinking and speaking poses as a problem when speaking to EVERYONE. I'm not feeling that. I want to be able to deal with it and not have a problem with it.

How does one accept something they've despised for so long? I mean I can get loose with the best of them and especially in other ways that will remain unspoken, loll. Just not when I'm dealing with someone new and ones I don’t trust. My good friends can testify to the fact that I sometimes can be a tad bit random if you catch me on a good day. It's only with them that I reveal this side to. I want to try revealing it to all, without hesitation. I think it'll be good for me. I think I'll find myself less and less irritated with people. Especially people I actually like and am trying to get to know. It's not fair to them that I write them off because of this simple fact. I know it makes some feel uncomfortable that they have to filter their conversations with me. Sorry ya'll! MY BAD. I'll get better with it, I promise. Mica makes no promises she can't keep.

Fuck Uranus, loll. Although I have an "understanding" in how things will go down with this potential friendship I'm contemplating, I really dig this person. She's mean, slick mouthed and brutally honest as hell, but that suits me fine. The last thing I want to do is run her away, because I can't accept the fact that she's random. I can't accept the fact that she doesn't operate like I do. That would be a very dumb reason! So to you ma'am; bare with me if you will. *winks*

Alright, it's lunch time. I'm going to eat this wack ass lunch and add another edtition to the imfamous Nikki Series. Stay tuned.