College Wednesday - Know Somebody Like This?
Happy Hump Day everyone! It's that time again; week 30 of College Wednesday. Seven whole months. For those of you that have been keeping up; thank you. You guys are superb. If this is your first time checking this blog out; welcome to College Wednesday. This is where we summarize 99% of the people you'll ever meet in college or in life. This week we introduce Johnny Frat Boy -or- Sally Sorority Chick and Johnny Three Legs.

Johnny Frat Boy -or- Sally Sorority Chick - While there's certainly nothing wrong being in a Greek organization, some people take their involvement in these groups a little too seriously. These are the people who can't go 2 consecutive days without wearing their shirts from some drinking party they went to last weekend. Johnny Frat Boy likes to brag about how many beers he slammed down Tuesday night, while Sally Sorority Chick acts as though she is too immaculate to be tarnished by your presence. In either case you shouldn't worry about these two personality types too much because they only associate with each other. This brings me to another point: when you see these people outside of class, it is perfectly acceptable to run them over with your motor vehicle of choice.

You know what, all the sorority girls and fraternity boys were nice to me, but then again they were of color. Most of the snooty sorority chicks and beer slamming frat boys that I encountered, were white. Go figure. I never wanted to cross anyone's line, but I loved going to the parties, but these parties were different depending on the race. I went to the black folks frat parties; had a few drinks, danced, had some good food, laughed, witnessed a few fights, maybe dodged a few bottles being thrown and then I went home. I had a healthy hang over the next morning. I went to the white people's frat party; got pissy drunk off of shit I didn't know existed, did NOT dance, watched everybody make-out, throw up or pass out, swam through the beer cans out the front door and somehow made it home. I woke up the next morning feeling like I had died three times and came back to life. When they frat boys say they can't slam down beers; they are NOT LYING! They do however think they are the coolest dudes alive, which is indeed a LIE.

Johnny Three Legs - Usually an average-looking, somewhat lanky guy. Johnny Three Legs is extraordinary on one respect; his ten inch penis. Flaccid. How do you know? Well, he's the guy that faces towards everyone else in communal showers. In forms with individual showers, he dries himself off in public areas, and spends just a bit more time naked than other residents, who usually whip on a towel before they even draw the curtains open. Pity his poor roommate, usually as lonely computer science major that is still a virgin, who is kept up awake at nights from cries of Johnny Three Leg's dates - "Ouch! That hurts! Unggnmph! Oh yeah…yes…God…OUCH! Let's try it another way…yes…oh…God…oh Jesus…OUCH!"

In the words of Bernie Mac; "You don’t understand, I ain't scared of you muthafuckas!" The hell with that Bernie; I'm scared of a ten inch limp dick that has not even began to expand from an erection. I wasn't even able to get with that even when I was into dick, I damn sure can't do it now! Omg! Ouch is right! Some women are long and as wide as a stretch hummer, but not I! 7 and a half, 8; work with me! I'm not trying to become a paraplegic; I love my spine. Ladies, it's not worth it; say NO to Johnny Three Legs! Or hell, say no to all of them and call me. *wink* Ha! I'm sure I just scared away at least 5 heterosexual women with that last line, sorry!!!

Well, I'm utterly disgusted after this post, loll. But hey, blogging with a diverse group of readers sometimes involves sacrifices. So thanks for checking out this week's College Wednesday. See ya'll next week. Peace.
3 Responses
  1. Lmao@Johnny Three Legs....see I knew it wasnt just me...arent most tall and lanky guys packing?!?!?..at least thats been my experience...I havent taken one on of that length but I would try to just to see if I could hang...wish I had came across mr. johnny in college...it was more than likely the basketball players but everybody knew they were STD city!....nasty muthafuckas....


  2. Lena Says:

    Wow, lmao. I stumbled upon here by way of Ms. F$%k It. I went back and read each of these college wednesdays and it was hysterical, especially because I know at last 5ppl fitting each persona. Loved it.


  3. Intro: Lmaoo @ trying it to see if you can hang. Good luck girl and I hope you won't be wheelchair based when it's done and over.

    Lena: Lmao yeah we all know a few people like the ones described. I'm glad you enjoyed it girl. Don't be a stranger.


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