College Wednesday - Know Somebody Like This?
Well I'm happy to be alive after that HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE hurricane yesterday. Hurricane Edouard aka Fast Eddie. He came through so strong and tough that we weren't even touched! All that fuss yesterday for nothing. Businesses shut down, summer school out, grocery stores out of water and some food and no decent reports on the news other than about this damn hurricane; turned tropical storm; turned light drizzle! My office was deserted yesterday, but guess who showed up to work? Yep, you're damn right; I did! I said this last week and I'll say it again now, I don't have time for no damn hurricanes; I have shit to do! Well with that being said, welcome all hurricane survivors to College Wednesday. Ya'll know the drill; this is where we summarize 99% of the people you'll ever meet in college or in life. This week we introduce The I-Placed-Into-Higher-Level-Classes-You-Should-Think-I'm-The-Shit-Cause-I-Do! and The Jackass of All Trades.

I-Placed-Into-Higher-Level-Classes-You-Should-Think-I'm-The-Shit-Cause-I-Do! - This individual is a Freshman who managed to get placed into upper level courses. Because of this, he will establish a heightened feeling of self-worth, and will consider himself to be a worthy equal to the majors in said department. He will bring up the fact that he is a FRESHMAN at every opportunity, and will become confounded when the upperclassmen in the same major aren't fawning over him or trying to suck his cock out of amazement at how awesome he must be, because he's taking upper level classes, and at the fact that he's merely a FRESHMAN. If it is a language course, he will try to chat in that language, regardless of the fact that you won't understand what the fuck he's saying. Not because he's better than you, but in his pretentious righteousness, he doesn't realize he completely sucks at it.

*Shaking my damn head.* I've come to realize that when people make a big fuss about something regarding themselves or make useless announcements about how great they are; no one usually cares. So you have this guy doing THE MOST to toot his own horn. He's working overtime just to get you to life an eyebrow. Oh but you do lift that eyebrow; not out of amazement, but it's more of a "if this asshole says one more thing about how great they are I'm going ape shit!" eyebrow raise. This person is kind of like the Intellectual Superhero we introduced last week now that I think about it. They both are incredible back benders and have the ability to suck their own dicks, because nobody else is; that's for sure! I love my pretentious (made to look or sound important) people though; they keep the rest of us in clear contact with reality. Thanks so much.

Jackass of All Trades - This man is seemingly adept in all subjects, and will boast about it too. Hear him complain about how easy his last Abstract Algebra exam was, how he wrote his African American studies paper two hours before it's due, and how little he prepared for his sociology presentation. His weakness is poor social skills. Ask him about his girlfriend for massive emotional baggage!

Could this be a book smarts vs. street smarts scenario? Clearly this dude is highly intelligent and he knows it. He knows everything book wise. But there is something that's called balance that is needed in life. Having no social life is unhealthy. People have lost their minds in books, the bible included…won't go there though. Sometimes the person that won't put down the book is just as bad as the person who won't pick up the book. We have two jackasses of all trades. Balance is the key. So Mr. Jackass; I'm sure your parents are extremely proud of you and your ingenious academic skills, but your girlfriend is pissed! That's why she's at my house!

Welp, thanks for reading people. For those of you still pretending you're in danger of the hurricane and did not show up to work; you'll be unemployed tomorrow and that's good for your asses! Seriously though, ya'll pray for me; this is going to by an emotionally bumpy day! I'm out.
0 Responses
Related Posts with Thumbnails
  • The Lovies

    Love, Relationships, Lust & Sex

    Love, Relationships, Lust & Sex
    Check out my 2nd Blog. (Click the pic)