Almost there; one more day! Yesterday started off as a great day and I got through both jobs without dozing off one time! Go me. However, the night ended off pretty rocky. BUT, I made a vow not to lay my head down on the pillow for sleep with a heavy heart. All problems, angers, and worries need to be thrown to the sky before I drift off to la la land. This way I will wake up fully rejuvenated and free of yesterdays anxieties. Because Lord knows, each day brings on an entire new set of issues. Who wants to deal with yesterday's? Psh, that's insane.
So I've come to realize just how short my fuse really is. Ha, I know some folks are like, "Bitch we know how short your fuse is, why has it taken you so long to realize this?" I know, I know. Me being angry with my patience ran completely out, "is like a man smoking at a gas station. I'M ABOUT TO BLOW UP!" Who is there when the smoke clears though? Lmao, no damn body. People have either been hit with a flying burning object or ran away in fear for their lives. I don’t blame them either. I'm no good when I'm mad. I say shit that never needs to be said. Sometimes, I even say shit just to hurt people. Am I proud of that? No. Because, all the victims on my rap sheet were not 100% deserving of the verbal daggers thrown at them.
What makes me angry? Being misunderstood, and my attempts to communicate through an issue at hand going ignored. It's like I'm being backed into a corner with all of my feelings floating above my head like boulders ready to crash down on me. However, instead of standing there waiting to be crushed, I'll come out of that corner swinging; knocking jaws loose, blacking eyes and demolishing frontals. However, sometimes I'm wrong and if I'd only attained enough patience to actually sit back and wait; things would play out much differently. Feelings could've been spared and faces could've been saved. It's said that "A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains." Shit, but they also say "you are what you eat", and I don't consider myself to be a pussy. However, I do need to check myself; that can be admitted.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
Your friends and coworkers may not be able to understand you today, even if you explain yourself again and again. But rather than prompting arguments, it's likely they will just nod in agreement, believing that they know what you mean. Nevertheless, you may be painfully aware of the gulf between you. Don't try to bridge the gap; it will go away naturally after tomorrow's eclipse.
Admitting when I'm wrong is never easy for me, but even when it's admitted does that mean people will forgive you right away or forget what happened at the snap of a finger? Nope. I know I hold grudges and even when an apology is laid out on the table, my pride sometimes still won't let me let it go that easily. Even still, what else can one do when you've admitted to your wrongdoing, explained your case and tried in multiple ways to communicate with someone and they still don't bite? You're damn right, leave it alone. I don't kiss ass, I don't chase and I do not linger where I am no longer wanted. I check pass and let them handle the ball. I'll be here when they're ready talk this out like one would adults know how to do.
So I've come to realize just how short my fuse really is. Ha, I know some folks are like, "Bitch we know how short your fuse is, why has it taken you so long to realize this?" I know, I know. Me being angry with my patience ran completely out, "is like a man smoking at a gas station. I'M ABOUT TO BLOW UP!" Who is there when the smoke clears though? Lmao, no damn body. People have either been hit with a flying burning object or ran away in fear for their lives. I don’t blame them either. I'm no good when I'm mad. I say shit that never needs to be said. Sometimes, I even say shit just to hurt people. Am I proud of that? No. Because, all the victims on my rap sheet were not 100% deserving of the verbal daggers thrown at them.
What makes me angry? Being misunderstood, and my attempts to communicate through an issue at hand going ignored. It's like I'm being backed into a corner with all of my feelings floating above my head like boulders ready to crash down on me. However, instead of standing there waiting to be crushed, I'll come out of that corner swinging; knocking jaws loose, blacking eyes and demolishing frontals. However, sometimes I'm wrong and if I'd only attained enough patience to actually sit back and wait; things would play out much differently. Feelings could've been spared and faces could've been saved. It's said that "A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains." Shit, but they also say "you are what you eat", and I don't consider myself to be a pussy. However, I do need to check myself; that can be admitted.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
Your friends and coworkers may not be able to understand you today, even if you explain yourself again and again. But rather than prompting arguments, it's likely they will just nod in agreement, believing that they know what you mean. Nevertheless, you may be painfully aware of the gulf between you. Don't try to bridge the gap; it will go away naturally after tomorrow's eclipse.
Admitting when I'm wrong is never easy for me, but even when it's admitted does that mean people will forgive you right away or forget what happened at the snap of a finger? Nope. I know I hold grudges and even when an apology is laid out on the table, my pride sometimes still won't let me let it go that easily. Even still, what else can one do when you've admitted to your wrongdoing, explained your case and tried in multiple ways to communicate with someone and they still don't bite? You're damn right, leave it alone. I don't kiss ass, I don't chase and I do not linger where I am no longer wanted. I check pass and let them handle the ball. I'll be here when they're ready talk this out like one would adults know how to do.
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