Something has been boggling my mind the past couple of days. At what point does one stop giving people the benefit of the doubt? When is it time to say, "okay, you've had your chance to prove your worth in my life and you've failed"? We all have standards; don't front, and sadly enough everyone we encounter will not meet those standards. This is one thing I hate about meeting new people. They do and say all the right things in the very beginning. That sense of "newness" is a MOTHER. It's proof that the grass is greener in that new territory, but you find out after a couple of days or maybe even a week that they don't water that grass daily. Now it's all yellow and patchy. Ugh. "New people naturally spark interests and most are on their best behavior. If they never had it, the act won't last long." This was quoted from a friend of mine. This is so very true. If you sit and wait long enough, people's true colors will surface. They aren't that same intellectual, courteous, kind and considerate person. Their speech changes, their tone changes, most things spoken of in the very beginning are never heard of again, no more "how was your day?", no more "good morning", no more 2 hour conversations. Silence has taken over. What a bummer.

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)

Wasting my time and energy on anything is a big problem for me. It takes quite a while for me to find worth in people to place my loyalty in. I've become the queen of moving the hell on in my older years. There really isn't enough time in my day to linger around people I know won't make the cut. I know if you will make it or not probably after one brief conversation. I try not to judge though. This is where I begin to give people the benefit of the doubt. This is where I become silent so that all of my assumptions can be proven wrong. Shut me down; please! This rarely happens though. Some people surprise me though. Their game is stepped up tremendously or I read them all wrong. Needless to say, those people are still in my circle. They are still apart of my network. Being in my world is not for the weak hearted or the weak minded. Either you got it or you don't.

Yesterday I wrote a blog on peace and understanding. Yes my standards are pretty high and I can be fairly shallow, but to avoid disappointment and to keep the peace; I don’t expect anything from anyone. I've said it so many times before. Everyone was who they were before they stepped foot into my life. People rarely change. Most things are just disguised; quite nicely, I must say. However, if you look deep enough and listen long enough, you'll see those things being so beautifully disguised. Classic example; the other day I was talking to a young woman for the very first time. Extremely beautiful; fine than a muthafucka. She starts off by telling me she was shy and wasn't the talking girl. Less than 5 minutes later; I couldn't get her to shut up if I tried. What was she talking about? A whole lot of nothing! I jumped in this one-sided conversation and brought up the fucked up conditions of the economy and she grew silent. *crickets* Completely blowing off my attempt for a meaningful conversation; she mentioned that she didn't watch any television for various reasons and tried to stay off the internet because of weirdos. A couple minutes later she asked me about at least 7 music videos she's seen on BET and did I YouTube much. "I thought you didn't watch television." (Oh, I'm tripping BET isn't TV; it's an evil brain warp for helpless Negros, lmao). This young lady, being a proven case.

Bottom line being; people just aren't equipped with substance anymore. Nobody has anything to say anymore. All I hear is gibberish. I think I'll go against my scope though. I'm not really feeling like retreating back to my shell again. I don't plan on running into any emotional drama either, because of the peace and understanding I have within today. This can be a test for me. Do I feel a bit awkward? Hell yes. Why? Sometimes; just sometimes, it sucks being the only one of my kind in this big world.