Been wondering what Beyonce had coming up for 2009?
Well wonder no more. Here is a snippet of her footsteps in the upcoming year.
Well wonder no more. Here is a snippet of her footsteps in the upcoming year.
**Some of ya'll may have read this before. If so, laugh again!**
BEYONCE TO RELEASE 12 ALBUMS IN 2009!!!
EXCLUSIVE NEWS ABOUT BEYONCE'S NEXT ALBUM!!!
We've just received EXCLUSIVE news about Worldwide. Worldwide is the third solo album by Beyonce. The album is slated for release on January1, 2009. Beyonce has reportedly recorded over 100 songs, and those songs will be divided between 12 albums, and a new Beyonce album will be released each month in the year 2009 on the following dates:
January 1, 2009 - World Wide I (or WWI)
February 5, 2009 - World Wide II (WWII)
March 4, 2009 - World Wide III
April 8, 2009 - World Wide IV
May 6, 2009 - World Wide V
June 10, 2009 - World Wide VI
July 8, 2009 - World Wide VII
August 5, 2009 - World Wide VIII
September 9, 2009 - World Wide IX
October 7, 2009 - World Wide X
November 11, 2009 - World Wide XI
December 16, 2009 - World Wide XII
Beyonce will shoot a video for each song (300 videos in all, each song will be re-done in Spanish, and 50 will be re-shot in Swahili) And she will shoot a movie for each album starring as her alter-ego Sasha.
In keeping with the Worldwide Theme of the album Beyonce will visit 12 countries a month to promote the album. She is also having a special contest to give away free tickets to a concert. Starting in November, ifyou visit your local Kim's Korean Hair Care, if you find the OFFICIAL Beyonce Blonde lacefront wig in the store, you will win front-row tickets to her concert. We guarantee that this concert will be so hot,you may leave the show on FIRE!!!
Because Beyonce is such a kind and generous person, she will be visiting third world countries in Africa to pass out water, food, medical supplies, and slightly worn lacefronts and freakum dresses, because, as Beyonce says, "water and food are cool, but every now and then, when your country is poor and in the middle of a civil war, sometimes you have to go in the back of your closet and pull out that freakum dress."
Keeping with her tradition of giving new talent an opportunity, for the WorldWide World Tour 2009 Beyonce wants an all-gay band. That's right an all-gay band. She will be looking for the most talented and energetic gay male musicians to go out on the road with her. She needs the following musicians:
- 1 Drummer-
3 Tamborine Players-
2 Whistle Blowers-
1 Person to hold 2 flashlights, spin in a circle and, make the Siren Sound on Ring the Alarm.
She will be holding auditions in Atlanta-only. She figured that in Atlanta all she had to do was play "Get Me Bodied" on a crowded street and the all-gay band would form itself.
As with all of her other tours, Beyonce will be offering GoldPackagesfor her fans.
For the low price of $12,000, fans will be able to wave directly atBeyonce as she waves back at them from her tour bus. You will not be allowed to touch her or come near her, as we have discovered that some of you don't wear deodorant at these meet and greets. Also, no photos and videos will be taken at the concerts, as we have found that people post things on YouTube, even when Beyonce asks them not to. Go figure.
People who buy the Gold Package will also receive an EXCLUSIVE gift-bag which includes: a bag of Skittles, a bar of Irish Spring soap, 2 loose Newports, $300 worth unsold House of Dereon clothing, and 20 unsoldcopies of "Miss Kelly".
Fans will be able to pre-order all 12 albums on the following dates:
-Whatever day Janet's album comes out.
-Whatever day Mariah's album comes out.
-Whatever day Ashanti's album comes out.
Beyonce's not trying to compete or overshadow, it's merely a coincidence that her pre-order date falls on the same day as other singers' album releases.
A DVD-CD re-release will be done for each of the 12 albums, and DVDs will be sold from each of the 120 concerts that Beyonce will perform on tour.
So in all in 2008 Beyonce will release:
24 albums
12 movies
120 - DVDs
We will keep you posted about any updates that we recieve or you couldjust wait for official press releases or statements from Beyonce'spublicist instead of using Wikipedia, blogs, or message boards as credible sources.
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WHAT THE FUCK? B is trippin. 12G's you sure on that? and why the fuck does she need 3 tamb. players? lol thats alot of music
i think she's talented but i also think it's time for her to step back && let someone else shine. there are alot of female artists out there with just as much of a voice that don't get any stage. i wish she'd just chill. enjoy married life. shit.
UMMM RIHANNA ROCKS IM SO OVER B! SHE IS TALENTED DONT GET ME WRONG BUT DANG
people thought i was joking when i said Beyonce was about to take over the world. When she said she wanted to play Wonder woman I KNEW she was getting Cocky.
Well im still very reluctant to Go Bey Crazy. I think this is probably one of those hype's i'll stay away from.
Lmaoooo I'm mad all ya'll thought this shit was real. It's bogus. I would whoop B's ass if she did ANY of this shit!!!
Come on! I can tell ya'll didn't read it all the way through!!
LMAO!!!!!! That was funny as hell..."you will be able to wave at Beyonce as she waves back"...a mess!!
hahahah .. WOW .. i got it! lol .. good message/moral learned at the end .. that is VERY true ..
just comes to show how gullible we are .. as media consumers .. smh..
i almost lost my damn mind readin this tho .. i was like this chick is SUPERWOMAN! ha
I really like your banner.
wtf!
that shxt is CRZY.
I LOVE BEYONCE BUT THIS POST WAS beyond hilarious...
rofl. thx for this one...
IM WITH MY ISS B MINNIE BEYONCE IS HARD BUT RIHANNA HAS BEEN KILLEN WITHOUT ALL THE EXTRA STUFF.
IT'LL BE INTERESTING TO SEE HOW THE ALBUMS SELL
Thank you to the ones to understood it was a joke, lmaoo. Beyonce is NOT doing all of this ridiculous shit.
I am mad that some of ya'll thought this was real! Hahah
Well the child needs to sit down and give it a rest, there is a such thing as over exposure.
awwwww man!!!!!!!!!,shit, i done told ALL my friends about this.....smh...got me spreadin rumors,smh,gees. why u had to spoil it.....(walks away with his head down)
Lmaoooo @ actually telling others. Wow. I hope they were not too excited.
WOOWOWOWOWOWO!!! I love Beyonce and all....but DAMN!!!
LOL!!!!!:)
I thought it was real at first...I would have downloaded every damn song!
LOL ...My comment still remains...
in all its sarcastic glory
I read Whatever day janet Jackson's album and mariah's comes out ...
thats when i knew it was hillarious.
beyonce is going to take over the world
I'm saying what else can Beyonce do? I'm not a fan of the Sasha Fierce era...honestly how u making songs for single ladies and you married?