Since the new year I've been down, but I'm up again. It could be the 3 redbulls I had this morning, but I'm going to run with this feeling anyway. Yesterday my horoscope told me to be revolutionary in my thinking. Revolutionary is a powerful word. Positive change is in action! Well I came to a few revolutions this morning driving to work.

1. If I liked it, then I would've put a ring on it, and sweetheart's hand is as bare as a baby's behind. Now she gonna learn, what it really feels like to miss me. It's funny how all this delicate attention is being given to me when I'm out the door. Ahhhh again! "People never get the flowers while they can still smell em'!"

2. I was trying to take folks to another level when I realized there were no passengers on my plane.

So you're Beyonce now?! Yes, I've heard this bitch so much, that I believe I'm Sasha Fierce. Okay, I'm going to stop quoting B, but seriously…

3. I'm everything I need to fill every void within me.

4. People whose heads are stuck up their asses have no room for Mica Mica in their lives. So I gotta kick em' out, kick em' out, kick em' out. Switch em' out, switch em' out, switch em' out! Was that B. again? Sorry.

5. 2009 is not the year for me to settle. I've settled for 24 years. This year marks my 25th. That's in 36 days to be exact. Wonder if my friends (whoever they might be) will be around for that occasion. Probably not. Oh wait! Revolutionary thinking!!

6. I am going to concentrate on my family more. I've been worried about other folks, who clearly ain't worried about me. It's time to focus on the ones that actually matter, and who will be here when it's all said and done. I went to church with my mom on Sunday, and I need to do that more often. I surprised her on Sunday, and just seeing the look and smile on my Queen Bea's face melted my little ice cold heart. I want to see that smile every chance I get. So I'm coming around more mom! I promise.

7. January 1st was the anniversary of my big brother's murder. I think so heavily around this time of year. Speaking on family above, I want to reach out to his 3 little girls more. The last time I saw them, they were little. One was an infant. I know they are so big now. I mean I just saw my sister's kids last weekend and my nephew is going to be 16 this year, and my niece just turned 13 last week. I know my brother's oldest daughter who is the spitting image of him, has to be at least 17 or 18 now. If I find them, I hope that they accept me and shower me with love like they did the Christmas at my parents house which was the last time I got to hug my bro; 6 days before he died.

8. I'm actually doing good in my life. I did so much shit last year that I am super proud of. I'm maintaining, and I'm growing on so many levels (no short jokes needed, but highly anticipated.) I want to keep it all going this year. It started off rocky, but that was my own fault. I swallowed myself in my own sorrow. I found myself blaming others for my misery, which went against what I try to live by.

I guess you can see these are my revolutionary resolutions for my year of continuation. I want to start writing again, because I feel so discombobulated when I don't. I'm surely not trying to lose my damn mind in '09!!!