The reason why I have stopped talking to a lot of people is because good conversation seems to be a thing of the past now days. If it's one thing I hate, it is a dead ass conversation! I've dismissed so many people because of it and I have no regrets. I mean really if you don't have anything meaningful to talk about, you're wasting my time; point blank. Okay now I do understand it won't be this way all of the time, but if you've never engaged in one meaningful conversation in your entire life, maybe you should start. I do not want to feel and look like this cat above these words every time I am on the phone with you. It's not a good look, seriously. I am quick to fall asleep on someone if I'm not interested in anything they have to say. I mean I've reserved time in my brain for you to occupy, and if you're falling short of that task there is nothing else left to do but sleep. I'm not one to drift in thought while someone is speaking, because I focus on the topic at hand, but if that topic is equivalent to watching paint dry; night night, lights out!

You will find yourself working quite well with any group today, dear Aquarius. You will find that there is a greater connection between you and the people around you. Make sure, however, that you ground your relationship on something meaningful; otherwise, you may find that you have built a whole reality out of something that doesn't really exist. Be true to yourself and try not to get fooled by that which seems too good to be true.

I've realized that I was allowing people in my life to outshine me. I was okay with always taking the back burner and beating to their drum. Things that I wanted to do, I would put on hold until they were ready. There is none of that anymore. I've opened the door to invite new friends in, but I am being very careful with how I do so and how many I let in. I'm pretty reserved and don't like a whole lot of people around me as is. So I won't go overboard. I've been saying yes to those invitations that people have been extending to me for quite awhile now, but I was too caught up in the rapture of friends that I thought would be around forever. Now that they have decided to go their own way, I've realized that I've neglected so many and have really been missing out on a lot.

This weekend looks as if it will be a good one. I have a couple of movies to catch up on in the theatres. My co-worker invited me to go see Sex In The City tonight, and I might just have to break down and go see that. I was never a fan of the show and probably won't be a fan of the movie either, but I would like to see what all the hype is about. Plus my baby mama, J-Hud is in it! So that is reason enough for me to go and see it. I'm feeling a little frisky, so I just might take my good friend up on her offer as well and go to the club tonight. I haven't been in a few weeks so I think it'll be fun. Plus I could use a 151 punch, loll. In the words of Ms. Pattie, " Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?" haha!

I do hope everyone has a safe and fun weekend!

Oh how I hate Monday mornings, but I am up anyway thanking God that I am able to live another day nonetheless. These past couple of weeks has been an emotional rollercoaster for me. I have been trying my hardest to keep myself occupied and buried in my work so that I won’t think about Kelli. I have received many calls from her telling me how much she misses me and how sorry she was about everything. I refuse to give into that nonsense. I have come to realize that the relationship in which we had ran its course and now that it’s over, there should be no looking back. I know I am weak for this woman still, but I have played the role of a fool for as long as I can remember. How can she expect to leave me for some tramp, have her fun and then attempt to walk back into my life? I don’t think so.

Besides the idiotic behavior of my ex, I have been trying my best to get in touch with Bobbie again. Her antics on our last encounter really worried me. I told Cassie about the situation and I honestly don’t know why I even talk to that girl. She is of no help at all.

“Bobbie is crazy anyway, just like all those other loony tunes you waste your time on!” she said sipping her iced coffee. We just had a long day of shopping and decided to stop in the book store for awhile.

“Please stop referring to my patients as loony tunes. And I don’t think doing my job is a waste of time. It’s called a career. You should try getting one, instead of bad mouthing mine.” I retorted rolling my eyes. Sometimes I could not stand her ass. She is a woman with no tact what so ever. I often envision grabbing the nearest object and smacking her upside the head.

“Whatever. Living my life is my career. I am not going to be trapped in the prison of what you call education for 15 years just to work for someone else.” This is coming from a woman that ironically has a Masters degree and is doing absolutely nothing with it. “I am happy working for myself and I didn’t need anyone to get me where I am today.” She hissed at me.

I really wasn’t in the mood to entertain her madness today. “Anyway Cassandra, do you think I should refer this Nikki woman to another colleague? I mean I feel a conflict of interest evolving you know?” I asked quickly changing the subject.

“I think you should at least get the down low on it all first. You can’t assume anything until you find out exactly what is going on. Or in this case, what exactly went on. Besides, I want to know damnit!” I knew she had ulterior motives for that response. “You better not dismiss that woman before we get the scoop.” I thought it over for a few moments and decided to continue with our sessions. I also decided I would try to give Bobbie a call one last time. Not just to probe for information, but because I honestly was concerned about my old friend.

Cassie and I finished up our shopping day and I was pooped. She had to go pick up my God-daughter from her Grandma’s house anyway, so we parted ways late that evening. When I got home I ran myself a hot bubble bath to soak in. My bones were aching from walking all day. I definitely couldn’t stroll through a mall in heels for hours on end like I use to. The water feels heavenly when its warmth caresses my skin. I drifted into my own fantasy world when I remembered that I had a call to make.

For some reason I was nervous and I felt the butterflies dancing around in my stomach when I picked up my cordless phone on the side of the bathtub. I dialed Bobbie’s number cowardly hoping to get her answering machine. I released a heavy sign when she picked up on the fourth ring, “Hello?”

“Hello Bobbie, this is Denise. How are you doing?” I nervously asked. There was a pregnant pause and for some reason I felt she might hang up on me, but she didn’t.

“Hi Denise, I am doing well. How are you doing?” She hesitantly responded.

“I am doing okay. I am glad to hear you’re doing well Bobbie. You have been on my mind since our last lunch date. I was wondering if I said something wrong to run you off like that. I sincerely apologize if I did. Have you gotten my messages?” I asked.

“Yes, I got them. You didn’t say anything wrong. You just ruffled some feathers from the past. You know how that goes. So how do you know Nikole?” she asked.

I am glad she jumped right into the conversation, because I honestly didn’t know how I was going to work that topic in there. Then I thought about it. When I first met Nikki, she said that Bobbie had referred her to me. That’s odd. Completely puzzled, I said, “She came by my house in the case of an emergency and said that she was referred to me by you.”

More silence. “Did she?”

I don’t think she expected an answer to that question. “So I guess I should be asking how you know her.” I had a bad vibe about this situation. I never had this feeling while talking to Bobbie. The hot water in my bath suddenly turned cold and gave me the shivers.

“There is a lot that has happened over the past year Denise. I was in the hospital after being severely beaten by my husband at the time and I met Nikole there.”

“Oh my goodness! I had no idea Bobbie! I knew you never returned any of my calls, but I thought you were just busy. Is this ex husband of yours in jail? He is your ex right?” I had to ask, because oddly enough even after being severely beaten, some women still stay with those losers. I am just glad she is okay, because there are some women who also don’t live to retell the story.

“He’s dead. I actually have Nikole to thank for getting me through that period of my life. I also have to thank her for taking me through an even worse time.” Her tone changed quickly. It seems like every time she said that name, I could hear teeth grinding through the phone. “I don’t know what business you have with her Denise, but you need to push her out as soon as you can.”

“Why is that? She happens to be one of my patients now. The day she came to my home she said she urgently needed some help and I have been providing that for her.” I said in her defense.

“You don’t know what she is capable of!” she yelled. “I am sorry for yelling, but I don’t want you to end up like I did.” She was actually starting to scare me. What the hell is with this woman? She seems normal outside of her life’s problems that could happen to any of us. “I have to go Denise, but please listen to me. Whatever is going on in your life, try to get through it by yourself!”

“How could you possibly…” I heard the dial tone in my ear. How did she know I was going through anything in my life? This was all getting a little too weird for me. That was definitely not the same Bobbie that I was use to. Something terrible happened to her, and it’s going to be harder than I thought to find out what that is.

I got out of the tub and dried off. I rubbed myself down with baby lotion and slipped into my blue silk robe. I went into the kitchen to down a couple of Tylenol P.Ms. My head was now pounding from all the confusion. I grabbed a class from the cabinet. My security alarm pierced my ears and the glass in my hand dropped to the floor and shattered at my feet. My phone rang which made my heart skip another beat. I carefully dodged the glass on the floor and picked up the phone.

“Is everything okay?” It was the security company.

“I don’t know, the alarm just went off while I was standing here in the kitchen.” I said, looking around the house. I walked towards the back door and saw it was half way open. “My back door is open! I know I didn’t leave it open, because I actually checked the lock before I set the alarm.”

“Ma’am the police are in route to your home. Would you like me to stay on the phone with you until they arrive?” I heard the man ask me. I was too shocked when I saw a tan tote bag lying on the outside of the door. The same tote bag Bobbie carried with her the last time I saw her.