I was going to write on this yesterday, but my horoscope was so on point today, that I couldn't wait. Well, tomorrow is my mother's last day at our company after 24 years. Her name is actually Beatrice, but I call her Queen Bea. I can't even put into words how proud I am of her. She's been battling this decision for quite some time now. It was just time to walk, because her stress levels were getting high and her health was going downhill. She isn't going to retire, but shes going to try and find some work closer to home. She's been driving 47 miles to work everyday, which is about an hour and fifteen minutes with traffic. I use to make that same drive for 4 years before I just gave in and finally moved to the north side. This is such a big move for my mother, and our family has been doing a lot of praying on it. Having faith in the idea that this is the best thing to do. I believe it is.

I'd been helping my mom go over her resume, and looking at ads in the paper for other job opportunities. She sent ONE resume to an animal hospital only fifteen minutes away from her house, and they called her back the next day. She had her first interview last week, and was called in for a second interview with finance on Monday. That's what I'm talking about mom! She was nervous, because she hadn't been on an interview in the past 24 years, but I told her that her genuine spirit, honesty, and obvious loyalty will take her along way. I knew they'd love her. It's just a receptionist gig, but this is all she wanted. Her hours are GREAT, and she gets to see all the animals. She LOVES animals, and I am so happy that this gig came up first. She's being so optimistic about it all, and just seems so stress free now. The change for the better has already started to take place, and the happiness is seeping through her pores.

So I am sitting here under the dyer at the beauty shop upset because I was hoping to be out of here by 10:00. I mean afterall I did get here at 7:30 am. I am tired and cranky. That is my fault though. I did not go to sleep until well after 3:00 am. I was in my Betty Crocker role; caking on the phone all hours of the night with this new chick I met. Yet another Taurus, but she seems nice. I won't get my hopes up though.

It seems like this day may never end for me though. I have so many things to accomplish today, and it just isn't enough hours to do them in before I have to go to work at 5:00. I have my Mom, Grandma, Aunt, and Cousin coming to visit me tomorrow before we all go to church and dinner. So that means I have some serious cleaning to do before the inspectors arrive at 11:00 tomorrow morning. The last thing I need after a week like this is to have my Mother and my Aunt tag teaming me about keeping a clean house. Truth of the matter is; nothing is ever 100% clean in their eyes, so I am not going to break my back trying to please them.

I really just want to go home and go back to bed after I leave this shop to be honest. But no its off to Wal-Mart, then the bank, then to pay my rent, then a full day of cleaning, and finally a 4 hour work shift at that horrific call center! Think I can sneak in a nap somewhere in there? Doubt it.

May 31, 2008

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)

"There's so much to accomplish early in the day that you could lose sight of how to enjoy yourself. Don't try to do everything all at once. Remember, what you don't finish now can be completed in a day or two. Finding a manageable balance between work and play can make all the difference in the world."

I really need to get my ass somewhere and sit down. Mentally I am tired. Physically I am tired. I figure I will save my vacation days for when my niece and nephew come down and use the time to relax as well. Leave both of those jobs alone for an entire week. This one day off a week is not cutting it. Until then I will hang in there.

It's 10:00 and I am still under this hot ass dryer! I don't even want a style. All I need for her to do is take these rollers out, wrap me up, and I'm out! Let me go right now, because the shop is filling up!

Enjoy your weekend!

"Yo T Dawg, what up yo?" "How you living homie?" "Word up son!" "You feel me?" All phrases coming from my co-worker who happens to be white. The first time Mr. Keenan spoke such terms to me, I didn't let it bother me; in fact I completely ignored it. The second time, I glared at him with that "are you serious?" look on my face. I noticed that he does not talk to anyone else in the office like this. However, he makes it a point to say something "ethnic" every time he speaks to me. He informed me that he was just trying to be "down". I've had to set a few people straight here in my office on multiple occasions for this same crap. There are 4 other people in my cubicle group, and as an inside joke we call one another dawg. We have always done this and we hardly use each other's real names. This is something that is mutual, between co-workers/friends. There have been people to come up to me that don't know me on that level to throw up the peace sign and say "what up T dawg?" Please beat it, you don't know me like that. Just because you hear someone else call me that does not give you the right to do so as well. I have a very close friend that call me "bitch" as a term of endearment, but I bet not hear anyone else call me that. Stay in your place; especially in your place as a mere co-worker.






Working in a company that you can count the number of black people using one hand, its truly easy to realize just how racist people are. What they really think of your race. Too many times I've been asked, "Tamica, why do black people put fake hair in their heads?" "Tamica, why do black people give their children such long names?" "Tamica, why do black people put those gold teeth in their mouth?" "Tamica, why do black people put those big shiny rims on their cars?" I DON'T KNOW! I am not Al Sharpton! Please beat it. Every time they want to know a name of the latest rap song, or which black rapper recently went to prison, they ask me. If at anytime you have to start a sentence with, "I hope this isn't offensive…" DO NOT SAY IT! 99% of the time, it will be offensive. I'm sick of these people (and yes I said these people) mistaking me for ALL of Black America.

So I had to set Mr. K straight today when he came up to my desk to bring me invoices. He greeted me with "Yo, yo what up T?" I kindly asked him to refrain from speaking to me in that manner and speak to me just as he speaks to everyone else in this office. I am no exception, because you expect me to "feel you" because of my skin color. Slit your wrist dude. That shit pissed me off. Now if I stepped foot in this office acting they way they expect me to ask, I'd be fired. My mother and I have both been labeled as "weird" because we don’t act like "normal black people". I'm not sure exactly what they expect from me, my mother and any other black person who works here, but they really need to check themselves.

Mr. K, Mrs. H or Mrs. D has one more time to approach me with this bullshit and I'm going to upper management. I believe with the new policies being enforced here they need to add one more.

I am going to declare this past week as my "lazy week". I'm not too proud of that, but then again I'm not ashamed of it either. I took my vacation day yesterday and I loved it. I so graciously called into Comcast and told those suckers and I would not be slaving for them between my normal weekly hours of 5:00-9:00. Had I gone into work last night, I'm not sure how many people would still be Comcast customers once they got ahold of me and I'm not sure if I would still be a Comcast employee. My supervisor is vacationing in Italy anyway, so I wasn't really concerned about it. So all in all, my week was alright I suppose. I know that there is a lot of things that I could've gotten done, but when I'm in vacation mode; all else is a wrap.

At this moment I am here at work, dreadfully taking these calls one by one. It's not too bad, so I decided to take the time out to write my weekly re-cap blog. Usually these are written onFriday, but I was so into reading other blogs I straight up forgot to write my own. Although a day late; I still have the thoughts resting on my dome to be released. As I sit here and think about this "lazy week" of mine; I ask myself what is the real reason I get into this mode? I sense that my vulnerable phase lasted longer than anticipated. I psyche myself out at times infecting my mind with negative thoughts. Sometimes I feel as if there is so much more that I can and should be doing in life. Granted I work 16 hour days; I still feel as if I'm trapped in this whirlwind that will
never end at times. When will the cycle end? I make myself believe in my own invented hype that nothing has changed for me financially and that I'm over working myself for no reason at all. So I become rebellious and go into my "lazy" state. I slack on my grind big-time! I should have gone into work yesterday evening and owned that extra cash. Instead I called in thinking that it wouldn't matter one way or another. Sad, sad, sad.

I did a little bit of shopping yesterday and it wasn't really until then that I realized that I honestly have come along way since I started these long work days. Wish shopping, strolling through every section of my most favorite store on earth, Best Buy; I thought back to this time last year and remembered the sleepless nights I had, the hungry days and the over drafted bank account status. 2007 started off a tad bit rough for me. I was all alone in my first apartment for the very first time. It was nothing like dorm life away from home as I tricked myself into believing it would be. I was in a world with people I didn't know (or didn't want to know for that matter), in a not so safe neighborhood, miles away from my parents, all alone. This is when I really started to get closer to my best friend at the time. I depended on her mentally for a lot. She helped me get through some very hard times. My life was intensely altering at the beginning of 2007.

Now here I am; in a new place, in which I absolutely love, my faith is a lot stronger in God, I'm slowly beginning to except change as a good thing, I'm financially content (not stable, but content, loll.), I have two great jobs that have helped strengthen my patience with people. Everything is not going to be the way I'd like it to be, because of the simple fact that I'm human and I'll more than likely never be satisfied. There will always be something lacking in my life, due to the imperfections of myself and this world. I am anxious to jump head first into next week and tackle it at full force since I slacked on my grind this week.

In the meantime I am going to finish enjoying this lazy weekend of mine; watching movies on the high def. idiot box and catching up on some much needed sleep. I'm still undecided as to if I want to go to my parents house tomorrow or not. I just might go spend some time with the folks. I truly do dig our relationship now that I'm NOT at home, loll. I do hope everyone enjoys their
weekends and if you're having a lazy one like me, I know it'll be good.

T.[Nicole] signing off - Life is truly about attitude and perspective. Unfortunately this week my attitude was jacked up and my perspective was severely blinded.