Night Owl - Staying up long after you've gone to bed, a night owl roommate may periodically awaken you with a laughing fit after reading a Chuck Norris joke on some crappy forum or heating water in the microwave for a 3 AM cup of ramen. May be seen complaining about the lack of places open in town at 1 in the morning on Tuesday night. The night owl is also likely to skip morning classes.
This is one of the reasons why I begged my daddy to pay the extra bucks for me to have my own dorm room the 2ND semester of my freshman year. I mean my roomie was my Caucasian home girl that I use to work at Boston Market with. I remember being so excited when she told me we were going to the same University. At first we were assigned different roomies, my first one had to go. I couldn't stand her. Then "J" came along, and was like "well my roomie dropped out after one week", that was that, and we moved in with one another. I should've known, just from working with her. I use to want to pour that hot ass roasted chicken grease on her ass when we worked the same shift. Why on earth did I think we being roommates would work out? The girl NEVER SLEPT!!! She was on those white lines, so that made her talk even more!!! I mean wow. Even when I came in super late from a party or some chicks dorm room, she was up; smiling, waiting, and bright eyed. Me, "WHY ARE YOU UP?! GO TO SLEEP "J"!!!" I don't spend the night with people, but I had to start just to get some sleep! I love her to death though, but I was so happy when her boyfriend swept her little vanilla ass off her feet and moved her ass back to Houston!
No School Spirit - He/she hats the place. He/she hates the teachers, the classes, the way its run, but not enough hate to go on a shooting rampage - just the desire to get the hell out and start life. These people couldn't care less bout any of the events such as sports games, dances, or theater plays. You most likely find them in basic standard classes, and they never try at anything.
Yo, these kids didn't give a fuck. I mean, I hope that they actually found interest in something sooner or later, but in school none was shown. I wasn't all that big into school spirit and events either. They would have school spirit week and run around on the dorm room floors screaming and beating on the doors. I'd go out in the hallway and curse everybody out, and dare one of those Blondie's to bang on my door one more time. Where was "J"? Outside screaming and high, lmaoo! She NEVER went to any of the events, but the fact that people were screaming, she joined them. I cared about my grades though, but I did my work and I did my thing. Never really caring about the school itself. It was in this country ass hick town, and everybody was too damn friendly. Nobody was even bucking in the clubs? They were getting their Texas 2 step on, and grabbing their big belt buckles and cowboy hats. When I actually found people of color, discovered other things about myself personally, I went on a different type of rampage. However, that is for a different time and another blog.
Newly-Ripe Fruit - This guy's gay! You see, he's only just found out and now he's got to make up for lost time. He may have had a healthy interest in sports, or board games, but no more. He tries, for the sake of decorum, to occasionally talk about things that do not directly involve his gayness, but he is unequal to the struggle, and five or six minutes down the line, the increasingly one-sided conversation has shifted to his multiple fuck buddies, or one of his alarmingly variegated fetishes. You see, just liking cocks isn't enough, that's not gay enough for the Newly-Ripe Fruit to truly express himself. He must round his sexuality out with public discussion of whips or chains, and more often than not he decides he is a furry as well, and won't let it escape anyone's notice. Possibly does more to set back the cause of tolerance than Fred Phelps ever did.
If it's one thing I don't like, its a person who forces their beliefs on you. One who forces their religion on you, their race, and most of all their sexuality. I am a member of the "some people are gay, get over it" movement, but it's something that the entire world will never accept. Just like the entire world won't ever accept black people. But we exist. Being a black, gay woman has been like a triple threat for me, but I've learned not to force any of these things on people. First of all, it's my business and it's kinda rude. The Newly Ripe Fruit, is usually some flamboyant gay dude, that just came out and he wants to shout it from the rooftops. However, everybody is not trying to hear that. The dude is extra, but I can feel him in a sense. Somethings for some people are held in for what seems like a life time. When you're behind that closet door, you can only reveal half of yourself to your friends, family, co-workers, and all people you meet. You never feel like they are meeting the real you. So when that closet door swings open, you no longer give a fuck, and you step out...you make the announcement. Well some people do. Again, mostly the flamboyant gay men. I know a lot of dudes like this though, and it gets to me every time. STOP FORCING YOUR GAY ASS WAYS ON PEOPLE!! I love em' though.
T.Nicole © 2008
Mrs. Degree - Misses degree has no real purpose in college except finding "Mr. Degree" majoring in some lucrative field such as computer programming, premed, law, or engineering. Often packed with great looks, a killer body, and half a brain Mrs. Degree has no problem being a mere shadow of her wealthy husband, an is always the first to brag and attempt to start "intelligent conversation" on the career of Mr. Degree. Always on the prowl, you may find Mrs. Degree befriending such characters as the Study Nazi, fucking disgusting C.S major, and the CEO junior.
wrong on so many levels...Muscles McFlaunty - This individual (almost always a guy) has been lifting weights since age 4, and never lets you forget bout it. He goes to the gym twice a day, wears nothing more covering than a wife beater, and constantly twitches his Pecs just to get you to look at his chest. McFlaunty may or may not be otherwise annoying, but it is a known fact that he heats creatine for breakfast, lunch, and dinner to increase muscle mass even further; this will result in four different cancers before he is 30. Occasionally, Muscles McFlaunty will have a lisp, in which case, laugh at him.
Muscles McFlaunty better be a guy, because if I saw a woman in person walking around with arms this big, I'd try to fight her no lie. That is horrible. Lmao @ lifting weights since 4 though. No matter what though, this dude always has on a wifebeater 6 times smaller than his actual size. He wears this wifebeater for every occasion. It can be 20 below zero and the dude will put on a hoodie, but as soon as he gets inside where there is heat; off comes the hoodie, and BANG! there goes the muscles. Is it me, or does McFlaunty always have an extremely small head? I wonder what the other head looks like. Mica will never find out. Seriously though, the last season of Big Brother had a guy by the name of Jessie on there. He was Mr. Muscles McFlaunty, always had on small wifebeaters, and his head was the size of a peanut!!! Dude's body was MASSIVE though. Incredible hulk looking dude. But his head....man, I don't wanna talk about it anymore.
Alright, I'm going to bed now. I hope everyone has a goodnight!!
Mr. Touchy Feely - Usually male, and often a variant of the creepy stalker. Likes to keep a hand on you at all times, especially if you are romantically involved. Hasn't yet decided if he's gay, but definitely hasn't proven his straightness either.
Ugh, please get your hands off me. I for one have never liked to be touched by people I was not extremely close with. Sooooo that left NOBODY TOUCHING ME! People don't wash their asses, let alone their hands. I work with enough sick muthafuckas to prove that one. I did go to school with a dude like this though. He could not speak to you with out laying his hands on you. It wasn't ever a light touch, but a caress. Why was this dude randomly caressing me in class?! Like why could he not have said what he had to say from over there? Did he have to make his point clear by twirling his fingers through my hair?! I made a mistake in giving him a hug one day, because the dude was not bad looking, I just didn't feel like being caressed every damn day. I gave him this hug expecting it to end in like 1 second. He held me like it was our honeymoon night after the newly wed sex. I mean straight up embraced my ass SOFTLY! AHHHH!! He did this to all the girls though. Now, that dude was Mr. Touchy Feely, hands down!
Mr. Uncertainty - Mr. Uncertainty isn't rally that bad a guy to have class with; as he's virtually guaranteed never to disrupt the class proceedings. Even when the teacher asks him a question directly, he'll attempt to deflect it through a magical combination of stuttering, fumbling, and vague sentences that trail off in the middle. He probably doesn't take very good notes, but he's there every day in hopes of making up for the fact. he probably has at least two majors and a third concentration that he's considering, but it's all perpetually up in the air since he doesn't really know what he wants to do. Because of this, you'll almost never see him in an advanced level class, since he's always going back and satisfying the core requirements for a different major.
Dude is super annoying, that's all I'm going to say.
Yeah, if you haven't figured it out by now, it's Thursday. A day late and a dollor short. Story of my fuckin' life kid!
Mr. I Work Full Time - This guy uses his job s an excuse not to show up and help with group projects. He will claim that he must work all the time and therefore cannot show up for any group meetings. Impossible to get a hold of outside of class. Generally a 50/50 shot of doing the work.
Okay, I seriously knew somebody like this in college. He was in my creative writing class. He NEVER participated in our group assignments, and claimed he worked "mad crazy" hours. Most of the creative writing ideas came from me anyway, but dude didn't have to keep stressing that he had this super important job all the time. I mean dude, go to work, we get it!
Mr. ROTC Cadet - Often seen traversing campus in fatigues, yet his pack is devoid of water, map, GPS, or other survival gear. Instead he packs the same Biology 101, Spanish II, and English Rhetoric text that you do. Known to major in Criminology or Criminal Justice, and may show up to 8 a.m. class in PT gear, not having had time to make it home for a shower and shave after his morning run. Placed by God on earth to counter the ramblings of passionate politico with physical threats (if PP is a male) or ramblings of his own stripping PP of her human/constitutional rights (if PP is a female). Very loyal to his friends and beliefs, Mr. ROTC Cadet is generally a good guy to have as a friend, or at least an amiable acquaintance.
Lmao! This just sounds funny. I had a professor like this for my freshmen 101 course. He was over the ROTC program. At least, I think that's what it was. He was super serious about his position. He wore army fatigue every day, all day. On special occasions, he was in full uniform with all of his badges of honor. Funny thing is, I never could figure out what the special occassion was. I mean it was just Tuesday to the rest of us, and this dude was decked out! He was a cool teacher though. He did teach us a lot of things that in turn got us more eqquiped for our college careers. I was just tired of operating off military time and saluting every time I came to class.
I am not going to keep promising that I'll remember to post these editions every week. I have fallen completely off! I'm sick of seeing my own self type about it, to be honest. So hey, catch me on College Wednesday when you can and whenever that may be. Peace.
Man-Hating Feminist - Usually found in Women's Studies or English classes. They find enjoyment in discussing how the standard of beauty is too high and how the opposite sex has taken over the world. They also tend to wear clothing that shows off cleavage in order to show that they are comfortable with their bodies. They tend to be loud in class discussions and easily annoyed by male classmates. Almost every conversation turns into a discussion of how men are degrading women.
I am bittersweet about my feminist. On one hand I respect them for keeping it together for us women out here. Letting us all know that a woman can do everything, if not better than any man can do. I feel you sister, but can you loosen up? I'm not even into dudes, and I'm finding myself to have to take up for my testosterone buddies. This is another example of someone forcing their opinion obnoxiously on other people. Everybody is not trying to hear that shit all the time. There is a time and a place for everything. Yes, we understand that you don't have respect for the sword swinging gentlemen; we get it!
Megaphone - This guy seems pretty intelligent and contributes with a vast amount of knowledge. Unfortunately he has got no grasp of volume at all. Will scream across the room with a content smile on his face while embarrassing the people around him. When conversing with The Megaphone you can't decide if he is constantly pulling your leg or just doesn't realize what the hell he is telling you. Does never know when to shut up, but magically manages to never piss anyone seriously off.
Am I being PUNK'D? Is the first thing you might ask yourself while trapped in a non inescapable situation with this loud mouth. You could be waiting in line at a grocery store, registering for class, at the bank or even in an elevator. If you're anything like me; I am armored with my "keep it moving" demeanor at all times. I do not like small talk and I do not like people in my personal space. So most of the time in public places by myself I give off that "don't say shit to me" attitude. Most of the time it works. People smile and they do exactly what I want them to do and they KEEP IT MOVING! *sigh* There is always one though. The loud one. The one not knowledgeable of what an inside voice is. You ignore him when you're shopping and you hear his loud ass 3 departments over yelling to his wife that he has finally found the big bloomers that she asked about on the ride over. She obviously is planning an escape route, that can't seem to dodge the detrimental volume of his voice. You just disregard the fact that this fool just did that and you continue shopping. You have no idea how you ended up in the same line as him while checking out your items. You thought he was loud 3 departments, but you didn't know how damaging it was until he was standing right behind you. You're looking around for the candid camera, because you know this dude is not talking to you this loudly and thinks that it's okay. It's a cruel world, so somebody has to be pulling a cruel joke. But it's not. Dude is real and you are now either really pissed or really embarrassed, because he's REALLY LOUD!
Kid That Fucking No One Likes - This kid is a douche bag! And for arguments sake let's call him "DANNY". This kid will attempt to befriend you then manage to say or do something so unspeakably rude or offer some backwards compliment. Parties disassemble whenever this ass hat manages to find his way to one.
I mean I don’t like most people and today I don't like anyone, but we all have one person that we just don't REALLY like. You don’t hate them or anything. In fact, you're even cordial to this person out of respect for humankind, but you still don’t like them. Everything about them just irks you and makes your skin crawl for some odd reason. From how dingy their shoes are, to the way they only smile with one half of their mouth, to that loud noise that they make when their chewing come, even the way that they walk. You're just like UGH! You dodge them, just so you won't have to be chummy and put up that fake ass façade called politeness. Man I don’t even want to talk about it anymore. NEXT!
Library Leech - Sees that you're studying in the library, but couldn’t care less. They want to chit chat and won't leave. They plop their stuff down and talk to you, despite the fact that your books are open and you're obviously studying hard; or worse, trying to finish something that’s due in 10 minutes!
Please keep in mind that this is one of the common reasons why people get shanked in broad daylight and no one runs to the victim's rescue. Again, here you are trying your hardest to be nice and polite. Clearly you see the leech approaching, so you bury your head deeper into what ever you're doing. You focus and you focus HARD! You just know they person will be considerate and leave you be, because they see you working diligently. WRONG! They disrupt your entire world and break out into conversation. There is no introduction at all. They just start talking. Then comes the plop. The loudest plop and the most dreadful plop you've ever heard. When they plop, you know they're not leaving anytime soon. This is when you have to make some life decisions. Either contemplate suicide, possible lethal injection, or a misdemeanor for aggravated assault. Word to the wise, just slap them. Trust me, everyone will understand why you did what you did.
Be back in a few with part II.
Just "One Of The Guys" Girl - She is always hanging out with the guys and may not have a lot of female friends to hang with on a day to day basis. Tries her hardest to fit in with the boys by playing video games, burping, commenting about the "hott" girls (and why they aren't good enough), takes part in random mischief ect. She is always there to give relationship advice, and is usually friends with all of the guys girlfriends.
Can we say on the verge of becoming a lesbian? Either that or this girl is having a major identity crisis. Then again, I do know a few women who just don’t like to hang out with other females. Shit we all know how emotionally unstable and dramatic females can be. That's one reason why I don't hang around a lot of females either. There was a time period when all I hung out with was guys as well. But I didn't fit in with the females, because I was to tomboyish and we just didn't have anything in common. I hadn't came out yet and I was just downright confused, loll. The guys took me underneath their arms and we were all thick as thieves. They were totally comfortable in front of me. I gave them advice about their women and their women were fine with me always being around their men. Hell, I didn't want them anyway, loll. When I finally did come out, the guys were cool with it. A couple of them tried to convince me to do a threesome, but that was to be expected. It felt like they tried to look after me even more so than. I miss my boys, too bad they all got knocked.
Karaoke Superstar - Possessing the incredible ability of knowing the lyrics to every song ever written, but unfortunately lacking the talent to flaunt it properly. The Karaoke Superstar molds every moment of their life into that of an American Idol reject. Whether it be wailing along to their favorite Nickelback song at the bar, or belting out Phil Collins in the dorm shower at 8 in the morning. The Karaoke Superstar fails to hit the right notes every time. Those in earshot will reel in horror at the audio assault, exclaiming, "Oh my God, a cat fell into the blender!" or "It sounds like someone is scraping a cheese grater across a 200 feet blackboard!". The Karaoke Superstar falls under the category of "completely ignorant", believing their vocal styling to be those of a professional. Frequently an actual Music major, mentioning their shortcomings will result in a major blow their ego.
ROFLMAO!!! Uh, you hate to be a bubble buster, you really do, but it's these people that you do NOT feel sorry for when Simon rips them a new asshole on American Idol. These people can hear themselves. They know what they sound like. They should be embarrassed to even attempt to hum. But noooooo, these are the people always the first in line at the Karaoke bar. Fucking up the entire Karaoke experience for everyone in attendance. There are times when it's cute at and can be taken as a joke. Then there are times when it dawns on you that this person is serious. They really think they can sing. Then….there are times when it's life threatening. Everyone in earshot drops dead. Google it; I'm not kidding.
Welp, that was great. I have to go now. Peace.
Just Doing This For The Free Housing R.A. - This RA just says hi and bye to the residents. Decorates the bulletin board and complete the minimal number of required programs. This R.A. is cool as shit, but makes it clear they are only there for the free housing.
Yeah this R.A. really was cool when I was in college. She didn't make us participate in those dumb ass dorm "floor activities"; stupid decorating contests, board game night, pajama sleep over, pot lucks, ect. I mean seriously I hated my R.A. the freshman year; first semester. She always wanted to have a pot luck. I'm in college, I DON'T HAVE SHIT TO BRING! Unless you want a package of roasted chicken Ramen noodles, and back then I wasn't trying to give those up. Times were hard! But mannnn when my spring semester rolled around; the new R.A. was my ace boon coon. She helped me sneak all the liquor into my dorm room. She bought my bootleg cd's and brought me in some business. She smoked with me, skipped class with me; we were tight. Everybody loved her. She didn't give a damn and loved the free housing. She hated doing those bullshit activities. She would leave the activities she coordinated 10 minutes after it started. Hm, I wonder if she's still a R.A. lmao! Terrorizing the freshmen.
Just Happy To Be Away From Her Dysfunctional Family For A Semester Girl - Jhtbafhdffasg is usually the happiest person on campus. She doesn't take parties for granted. If there are five parties going on simultaneously, she's somehow having the time of her life at all five. She won't disrupt class with any senseless questions, although it may take some time to get use to her everlasting smile, she makes an awesome friend. Always optimistic until winter break rolls around and you have to drag her out of her dorm kicking and screaming.
Okay now this was the girl on campus with her dorm room fully decked out and stocked 5 days before anyone arrived for the fall semester. You wonder how and why she got there so fast. Then during the course of the semester; you see how damn happy she is. She appreciates college a little bit too much. She is down for WHATEVER as long as it's on campus. When you get homesick, she will quickly drag you to the nearest party just to avoid you asking any questions about her home. She has a crap load of money on her student Id card. Her home is on campus. She will be down to go anywhere for spring break; except home. She'll stay the entire break on campus exploring the small ass university town. When we all come back from break, she's discovered at least 3 new bars down in redneck Ville. Knowing good and damn well that we'll all be lynched if we showed up there. At the end of the year, she'll make sure her family picks her up 3 days late and meets her as far away from campus as possible. She's super embarrassed by her family and we'll never know why.
Man I wish I had free housing, so I wouldn't have to work both these jobs and just chill. Ha! Too bad. Gotta get back to work ya'll. See ya next week!
Johnny Frat Boy -or- Sally Sorority Chick - While there's certainly nothing wrong being in a Greek organization, some people take their involvement in these groups a little too seriously. These are the people who can't go 2 consecutive days without wearing their shirts from some drinking party they went to last weekend. Johnny Frat Boy likes to brag about how many beers he slammed down Tuesday night, while Sally Sorority Chick acts as though she is too immaculate to be tarnished by your presence. In either case you shouldn't worry about these two personality types too much because they only associate with each other. This brings me to another point: when you see these people outside of class, it is perfectly acceptable to run them over with your motor vehicle of choice.
You know what, all the sorority girls and fraternity boys were nice to me, but then again they were of color. Most of the snooty sorority chicks and beer slamming frat boys that I encountered, were white. Go figure. I never wanted to cross anyone's line, but I loved going to the parties, but these parties were different depending on the race. I went to the black folks frat parties; had a few drinks, danced, had some good food, laughed, witnessed a few fights, maybe dodged a few bottles being thrown and then I went home. I had a healthy hang over the next morning. I went to the white people's frat party; got pissy drunk off of shit I didn't know existed, did NOT dance, watched everybody make-out, throw up or pass out, swam through the beer cans out the front door and somehow made it home. I woke up the next morning feeling like I had died three times and came back to life. When they frat boys say they can't slam down beers; they are NOT LYING! They do however think they are the coolest dudes alive, which is indeed a LIE.
Johnny Three Legs - Usually an average-looking, somewhat lanky guy. Johnny Three Legs is extraordinary on one respect; his ten inch penis. Flaccid. How do you know? Well, he's the guy that faces towards everyone else in communal showers. In forms with individual showers, he dries himself off in public areas, and spends just a bit more time naked than other residents, who usually whip on a towel before they even draw the curtains open. Pity his poor roommate, usually as lonely computer science major that is still a virgin, who is kept up awake at nights from cries of Johnny Three Leg's dates - "Ouch! That hurts! Unggnmph! Oh yeah…yes…God…OUCH! Let's try it another way…yes…oh…God…oh Jesus…OUCH!"
In the words of Bernie Mac; "You don’t understand, I ain't scared of you muthafuckas!" The hell with that Bernie; I'm scared of a ten inch limp dick that has not even began to expand from an erection. I wasn't even able to get with that even when I was into dick, I damn sure can't do it now! Omg! Ouch is right! Some women are long and as wide as a stretch hummer, but not I! 7 and a half, 8; work with me! I'm not trying to become a paraplegic; I love my spine. Ladies, it's not worth it; say NO to Johnny Three Legs! Or hell, say no to all of them and call me. *wink* Ha! I'm sure I just scared away at least 5 heterosexual women with that last line, sorry!!!
Well, I'm utterly disgusted after this post, loll. But hey, blogging with a diverse group of readers sometimes involves sacrifices. So thanks for checking out this week's College Wednesday. See ya'll next week. Peace.
I-Placed-Into-Higher-Level-Classes-You-Should-Think-I'm-The-Shit-Cause-I-Do! - This individual is a Freshman who managed to get placed into upper level courses. Because of this, he will establish a heightened feeling of self-worth, and will consider himself to be a worthy equal to the majors in said department. He will bring up the fact that he is a FRESHMAN at every opportunity, and will become confounded when the upperclassmen in the same major aren't fawning over him or trying to suck his cock out of amazement at how awesome he must be, because he's taking upper level classes, and at the fact that he's merely a FRESHMAN. If it is a language course, he will try to chat in that language, regardless of the fact that you won't understand what the fuck he's saying. Not because he's better than you, but in his pretentious righteousness, he doesn't realize he completely sucks at it.
*Shaking my damn head.* I've come to realize that when people make a big fuss about something regarding themselves or make useless announcements about how great they are; no one usually cares. So you have this guy doing THE MOST to toot his own horn. He's working overtime just to get you to life an eyebrow. Oh but you do lift that eyebrow; not out of amazement, but it's more of a "if this asshole says one more thing about how great they are I'm going ape shit!" eyebrow raise. This person is kind of like the Intellectual Superhero we introduced last week now that I think about it. They both are incredible back benders and have the ability to suck their own dicks, because nobody else is; that's for sure! I love my pretentious (made to look or sound important) people though; they keep the rest of us in clear contact with reality. Thanks so much.
Jackass of All Trades - This man is seemingly adept in all subjects, and will boast about it too. Hear him complain about how easy his last Abstract Algebra exam was, how he wrote his African American studies paper two hours before it's due, and how little he prepared for his sociology presentation. His weakness is poor social skills. Ask him about his girlfriend for massive emotional baggage!
Could this be a book smarts vs. street smarts scenario? Clearly this dude is highly intelligent and he knows it. He knows everything book wise. But there is something that's called balance that is needed in life. Having no social life is unhealthy. People have lost their minds in books, the bible included…won't go there though. Sometimes the person that won't put down the book is just as bad as the person who won't pick up the book. We have two jackasses of all trades. Balance is the key. So Mr. Jackass; I'm sure your parents are extremely proud of you and your ingenious academic skills, but your girlfriend is pissed! That's why she's at my house!
Welp, thanks for reading people. For those of you still pretending you're in danger of the hurricane and did not show up to work; you'll be unemployed tomorrow and that's good for your asses! Seriously though, ya'll pray for me; this is going to by an emotionally bumpy day! I'm out.
I Studied Abroad And It Changed My Life Guy/Girl - This person has spent anywhere from 3-12 months in a country that isn't too different from our own, but it's soooo much better. It's so cultured and you can drink without having the draconian American laws over your back. Most of this student's stores involve getting drunk and hooking up with creepy older gentleman or passing out on the couch interspersed with some sightseeing. But it changed his/her life, like OMG I totally know how people in other countries live, and I'll keep talking and talking and talking about it.
You know how people, not just if they studied abroad, says that something changed his or her life? Then when they go to explain how and why it changed their life, you soon realize that they didn't have much of a life to begin with! Studying abroad in Cancun Mexico, is really not all that amazing. I mean really, we all go there on our senior class trips anyway and we've already been super excited about the underage drinking laws over there. Who the fuck cares anymore? That's like studying abroad and being in chat rooms all day bragging about it! But you aren't doing anything abroad, you're barely studying! You're doing the same shit you could've stayed in the States doing. Another monkey doing flips in the circus. What a waste.
Intellectual Superhero - Intellectual superhero is neither an intellectual nor a superhero, but don't tell him that! The Intellectual Superhero is easily identified by his complete inability to allow a class period to pass by without asking at least 654 questions designed to show how "witty" and "clever" he is. He will attempt to prove the professor wrong in every class with is insane bullshit, regardless of the fact that the professor has a doctorate in the field. If it's a science course, the Intellectual Superhero will attempt to solve every problem using an alternate method, which is always incorrect. But don't worry; he'll still manage to waste 20 minutes of your life with is insane method of solving the problem. At least you'll get to laugh at him when the professor proves him wrong.
Lmao! I hate this muthafucka, I really do. Some people are just incorrigible like this. They feel they know every damn thing, as a matter of fact, they call themselves "god" and perfection is their middle name. Bitch please. This is the same person studying abroad online all day trying to build a reputation, lmao! Don't let your internet buddies gas you up too much now. You know sometimes trying to prove people wrong with bullshit reasoning only marks you as the dumbass, this is why I sit back and watch people prove me right. I don't even have to say a word! Intellectual Superhero eh? More like Queen of Contradiction; who is saving your ass?! Signoff homie, take a tour of greatest place on earth; they call it reality!
Man, where's the dreaded 'pine sol' lady when I need her? Lmao. Don't feed the monkeys ya'll. Seriously, people once in their right minds are being mentally mauled and dismantled. These furry little creatures seem so cute, innocent and somewhat intelligent; don't let the manlike features fool you! Proceed with caution. I'll leave ya'll with that. See ya next week!
I'm Too Important To Be Here Girl - This girl is much too busy to do something as menial as class. She's in a sorority, she's in the student senate and she's got a boyfriend on the lacrosse team. She treats class like it's a bother; much like a PTA meeting. During the entire class period, her blistered thumbs are hammering at the tiny keys an her super expensive new cell phone that Daddy's bought her three times, because she keep wearing it out. Whenever the professor asks her to stop her hammering, her face curls up worse than Reese Witherspoon's after eating out an asshole.
Ugh, bitch please. I can't stand these types of females. Could this girl be compared to some of the stuck up broads we sometimes encounter? I think it's safe to say so. If you feel you're too important to be wasting your precious time somewhere, please leave. Take your snooty little cell phone, your snooty little purse, throw on your snooty little sunglasses, and gather up that water rat snooty looking dog and carry your snooty little ass out of the place. You know that bitch has a dog, loll. Don't they always? Spoiled ass dogs. These Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie broads. They look at you crazy if you say one word to them; whether it's asking for the time, saying excuse me, or kindly telling them that a bird just shitted on the back of their head. It usually takes something truly traumatic to bring these females down from their high horses.
Indie Kid - The Indie Kid is the guy/girl who wears nothing but vintage clothes purchased from thrift stores and listens to music by bands that nobody has ever heard of. Indie kids stick together, always involved in some sore of "intellectual" conversation about a worldly event (past or present) that everybody is not talking about. Often times the Indie Kid will go out of his or her way to mention something obscure to give themselves "Indie cred".
Loll! You know what? I don’t even mind Indie Kids, so I really don't have anything witty or sarcastic to say about them to be honest with you. They mind their own business, tend to their own people and they like what they like. They aren't trying to force their way of living on anybody else or think they're better than you like "I'm too important to be here" people. With the economy like it is today; I'm not even mad at the fact that the indie kids shop at the thrift store. Keep doing what you do ya'll. If you like it, I love it.
Alright, I almost forgot about this post today. I got so caught up in my work. Then I realized that it was actually Wednesday and we're half done with this week! So happy hump day to everyone reading and enjoy the rest of your day. Peace.
I Can Quitter - This person smokes, drinks, has other bad habits and can quit whenever they want. When asked to quit they always respond, "I would, but I don’t wanna."
"I smoke, I drank; I'm suppose to stop, but I can't. I'm a dog, I love ho's; I'm addicted to money, cars, and clothes!" We all know someone with this mentality man. We all know that grown ass person who smokes weed everyday and does not give a damn. You ask them, why are you grown and smoking weed every day of your life? Don't you have anything else better to do? Their response, "Cuz I want to." They don't plan on stopping, either you love it or hate it. Loll, I've accepted lots of friends with habits like this. To each his/her own.
I'm Right, You're Wrong - This person has a very strong opinion about EVERYTHING and will force it down the throat of EVERY PERSON that opposes them. This is made intolerable by the fact that the "I'm right, you're wrong's" opinions aren't backed up very well or are announced in a very ridiculous and obnoxious manner. These people abuse terms like "liberal, democrat, hippie, freak, tree hugger, terrorist, right-wing, extremist, ect." Very often the opinion is somewhat one sided.
This person, ladies and gentlemen, is what I called a R.L.I - Real Live Idiot! It's one thing to be opinionated, because a lot of can vouch for me when I say I'm a very opinionated woman. However, there is a difference with being an ignorant opinionated person like hm, BUSH, loll, versus being a logical opinionated person like hm, ME. You ever had an empty debate with someone like this? You take a healthy topic and you voice your opinion on it, and they in return let you know that you're wrong, but then give no sensible reason as to why they feel that way. You end up with this "what the fuck are you saying to me" look on your face. This person is somehow just looks dumber by the second. You either one, spit on them, lmao, or just walk away. I think the more logical choice would be to walk away. I can't count how many people I walk away from during my week. I deal with a shitload of R.L.I's man, let me tell you! All you Mr./Ms. I'm Right, You're Wrongs, please abrogate your self proclaimed thrones, It's election year, so let's get all idiots out of the White House.
Okay, I have more to say, but I'll save that for another blog. It's been an interesting week thus far. I may have to do a mid-week re-cap this evening when I get off. I'll see ya'll next week though. Peace.
High-Schooler - Typically a girl and a Freshman. Spends most of her time stereotyping hall mates, classmates, and other acquaintances based on what cliques they would have belonged to in her high school. Her favorite hobby is badmouthing these people because 'in HIGH SCHOOL' she would never have associated with them. She also enjoys critiquing and complaining about every aspect of college which is 'different' from her high school experience.
3 words; LET IT GO! I know quite a few girls with this "I'm stuck in my high school years" mentality. They relate every single thing back to what they would've done in high school in a specific situation. When I was in college there were lots of chicks like this, but now that I'm 24 years old; I'm STILL seeing girls like this. Why are you over 21 and still discussing people in high school and what happened to who back then. Who cares? Life went the hell on, can we not go back? I mean don’t get me wrong; I thoroughly enjoyed my high school years and from time to time I speak to ones I graduated with, but we talk about current events and adult things. We're not planning trips back to the old school to roam the halls and harass our now 70 yr old teachers from back in the day. It's sad that for some people, life as they once knew it ended back in high school.
Husband/Bride To Be - Usually a freshman who is currently engaged. You often asked yourself how long it will last? Why will anyone marry him/her? When will he/she know that it may have been a bit too early? (After the divorce of course :D). Often talks about how he/she will be married soon, and relates a lot of the projects he/she has done to marriage, will need a therapist in the future if it all goes wrong.Love is in the air and wedding bells are ringing! This is what is in the high school sweethearts heads when they step foot on their college campus for the very first time hand in hand. They strategically planned on applying for the same school and enrolling in the same classes. They are inseparable and life couldn't get any better. Together forever! There is a ring pop on both their wedding band fingers; strawberry for her and sour apple for him. Oh he has plans on buying is bride to be a real ring some day; he just has to work overtime at the Chili's right next door to their cozy one bedroom off campus apartment. Oh and she said she would help out too, because she also works at Chili's and will be contributing funds to their happy little lives. This is beautiful. Until one day the husband to be is taken out for a night on the small little college town. His new buddies introduce him to some of the sorority and frat parties. This is where it goes down! Husband to be walks in the spot and the smell of fresh pussy assaults his nostrils and here comes Ms. New Booty being the bad bitch she is. She winks at him and her shoulder lightly brushes his as she passes. The sour apple ring pop on his finger has suddenly melted and is now dripping down his hand. He is in a new found heaven and wondering where all these new women have been hiding all of his life.
He forgets about his bride to be paitiently waiting up for her man in their cozy apartment. He's now dancing the night away with one woman in front of him and one behind him; dick hard enough to split a brick in half. His new found heaven soon turns into hell when he finally makes it home that night. "What am I doing?" he thinks. "I have to stay with her for the rest of my life?" Here comes the doubts, and soon thereafter (with the inspiration from a stripper or two) comes the end of that never ending love. Poor girl was blind swipped and will hate men forever. Now she's a lesbian, lmao! Just kidding. Well, if she is and you know her; tell her to call me. *winks*
Alright I know I'm a day late with this and I said I would never post college Wednesday on a Thursday again, but I lied. I meant to post yesterday, so my fault totally. Thanks for reading; especially those who have been doing so over the past 5 months. See ya'll next week.
Okay, if you're like me; you have no idea what Halo is right? Well, it's a video game of course. I have never played it nor do I have the desire to play it. But we all know at least one video game fanatic. I mean they are addicted! They will literally play all night long. Do they go to work? Yes, but they will head straight home to beat the next round of whatever game they're playing. I'm not going to lie, I was like this with two games. That was The SIMS & Grand Theft Auto! I could not be pulled away from these games. Once I kicked the addiction, I vowed never to pick up another PS2 controller in my life, loll. My skills were beyond mad. I was the SHIT on both of these games. So I can't even be mad at The Guy/Girl With Inhuman Halo Skills; play on player.
Heretic - Exact opposite of The Converter, this person hates all forms of Religion and despises God. used to be devoted to a faith, but lost his or her faith through some event int eh past, such as a major physical/psychological trauma. This person loves to quote John Milton, and argue with others who believe in God. I can't say I know many atheists, but I will say the ones I came across accidentally led to a very awkward situation. I mean any and everything I said that related back to a higher power was shut down by their dark and evil spirit. "THERE IS NO GOD!" "WE WERE ALL LEFT HERE TO DIE" "DEATH IS POWER" Wtf? These are examples of conversations you leave with the quickness. Have Mercy! "MERCY IS IN THE HANDS OF SATAN" Man what?! I mean I'm not one to knock a person for what they believe in or what they don't believe in. I just don't want to be struck down in the process of accepting you for who you are. Feel me? I know that won't happen though, because God loves all his children; even the non-believers. He is that kinda dude. So he wouldn't strike me down just by association. You have to be one DEEP individual to come up with theories that God does not exist. You are above and beyond....stupid? Loll, not let me not go there. I'm not feeling organized religion now days myself, but I do and always will believe in The True God Above and His Son. They get me through all of my days and this is greatly appreciated. So keep your blank pamphlets. I've made my choice and I'm sticking with it.Alright lunch time is over and I must get back to work. I'd much rather be playing The Sims 2 ;] See ya'll next week.
The Geek Provider - The provider tends to be everyone's best friend when they need something from him. Of his various requests, he spends the majority of his time lofting and unlofting bunks, or fixing people's computers. When he is not doing this, the provider is somehow nowhere to be found. For extra fun, combing The Provider with The Foreign Silent Curve Destroyer. 
The Frat Mattress - Shit…you're probably screwing her right now!
Ha! Well this was a very brief description. I'm sure we can all use our imagination with this young lady. She's into some very interest extra curricular activities. I'll just leave this one be…
The Freakin' Disgusting C.S. Major - Freakin' Disgusting Computer Science Major is the reason that you don't want to go to class. He bathes roughly once every leap year and wears the same "totally awesome" Japanese video game (the import version was so much better) shirt for half a semester at a time. No matter how far away you get from him, the stench seems to travel across the room and assault your nostrils. Freakin' Disgusting Computer Science Major has no time for the English language, and he will often ask questions that make little to no sense and lack any sort of "grammatical structure". He's the only character that can actually give Silent Foreign Curve Destroyer a run for his money on the intellectual scale, but that's only because he was probably born with knowledge of linear algebra and differential equations.
Wow, no offense to the Computer Science Majors who don’t smell and can speak well. I guess I've never met and C.S majors like this, and I'm thanking God. The last thing I want is for my nostrils to be assaulted by some unknown stench. I get irritable when I'm around smelly people and I tend to hurt feelings quicker than normal.
Man I promise to come harder than this next week. I can't feel my eyelids though, loll. I may have to indulge in a afternoon cup of coffee to carry me at least through my first job. I devote all faith in prayer this evening at my second job. Later people.
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