Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Oh my goodness, what an awesome weekend I had. I didn't do anything major outside of my normal quality time spent with the people that I love. My last blog was about the changes of the seasons. What I anticipated the fall might bring my way. So far, so good. Work seems to be steady at both jobs, my relationship with my family is growing tighter and tighter as the weeks pass, and my love life has finally been taken off life support and is breathing on it's own. The feeling is indescribable. All of the above mentioned has brought so many smiles to my face. People are starting to notice my new vibe, and that I'm glowing like a full moon on a hot summer night. It feels good.
"An inexhaustible good nature is one of the most precious gifts of heaven, spreading itself like oil over the troubled sea of thought, and keeping the mind smooth and equable in the roughest weather."
- Washington Irving
The bizarre situations in my life never cease to expire, but I don't let them stress me. From car problems, apartment maintenance problems, financial problems, to extremely bad hair days (like I'll be having for the next few days); all doesn't even matter. It'll pass like everything else has in my past times.
Speaking of changes; I have been battling with myself over the company I keep or (don't keep). With the new blessings that have entered my life recently; I realize how thirsty I was for genuine friendship. One without strain on any end. One that is unconditional, and one that is understanding. The weather may get a bit frigid soon, because I now know it's time to let go of a bond that I thought would last forever. However, it's stressing me out more than it should. I've tried to rationalize from every angle and give chances for redemption, but nothing has changed. I feel that no effort is even being put into possible change. My feelings on the issue are rapidly dissolving. Once I reach the end of my cup; it's a wrap. I don't want any free re-fills. When that well runs dry; I know my phone will ring. Will I answer? That is the million dollar question. Time to hit the road. There is nothing but an open highway of opportunity in my view. Goodbye to those of my past. Hello to those of my future.
"An inexhaustible good nature is one of the most precious gifts of heaven, spreading itself like oil over the troubled sea of thought, and keeping the mind smooth and equable in the roughest weather."
- Washington Irving
The bizarre situations in my life never cease to expire, but I don't let them stress me. From car problems, apartment maintenance problems, financial problems, to extremely bad hair days (like I'll be having for the next few days); all doesn't even matter. It'll pass like everything else has in my past times.
Speaking of changes; I have been battling with myself over the company I keep or (don't keep). With the new blessings that have entered my life recently; I realize how thirsty I was for genuine friendship. One without strain on any end. One that is unconditional, and one that is understanding. The weather may get a bit frigid soon, because I now know it's time to let go of a bond that I thought would last forever. However, it's stressing me out more than it should. I've tried to rationalize from every angle and give chances for redemption, but nothing has changed. I feel that no effort is even being put into possible change. My feelings on the issue are rapidly dissolving. Once I reach the end of my cup; it's a wrap. I don't want any free re-fills. When that well runs dry; I know my phone will ring. Will I answer? That is the million dollar question. Time to hit the road. There is nothing but an open highway of opportunity in my view. Goodbye to those of my past. Hello to those of my future.
It's been a great past couple of weeks. I've been a little social butterfly, which is totally out of my character. It's more than likely just a phase, and pretty soon I'll go back underneath my rock on my planet. I've been having fun mingling with the earthlings though. I find myself being stress free, but I have to be careful to dodge the drama that comes along with the social territory. Some people are just over the top, and don’t know how to act.
The Crew
Outside The She Lounge (Aztecas)
*Excuse the hoodness of it all*
Outside The She Lounge (Aztecas)
*Excuse the hoodness of it all*
The Bestie clearly not in touch with the outside world...
I swear I was though!
I swear I was though!
Becca AKA B. Swag on it!
The Bestie, Her better half, and the big homie D. Rhae
Me, doing what I do best...telling the world to fuck off!!
On my recent metamorphosis I've run into many different people, and encountered many different personalities. I've appreciated (when sober) the new tastes. Some bitter, some sweet. Either way it goes, it's different than the same old dishes I've been serving up. I love my crew, but we tend to all think alike. Probably, because we've been knowing each other so long. We've rubbed our beliefs, ideas and goals off on one another. Now we all speak the same language, and sometimes that becomes a bit redundant. I don’t dig change, but sometimes we all have to embrace it just to stay sane.
Aquarius - March 2, 2009
Try to spend some time interacting with the few people who don't always agree with everything you say. Whether they hail from different backgrounds, cultures or religions than you, they see the world from a different perspective -- and it can be very interesting to hear what they have to say about recent events. At the very least, it will be a good learning experience. When you only hang out with like-minded people, you miss out on some opportunities.
It's not always a bad thing to disagree. To me a disagreement is made up of the opinions coming from two intelligent people. The only thing is, if one or both of those people do not know how to communicate properly; it all goes downhill. This is where the frustrations come in. I appreciate it when a person has a different opinion than mine, and knows how to back theirs up. Who is to say who is wrong and who is right if you have solid evidence throughout your words? However, like I said; some people just don’t know how to act, or better yet; interact. Word to the not so wise…just shut the fuck up.
Yay! Happy Birthday to me! Whew, I'm a quarter of a century old today ya'll. I don't know what to do. Can I still say I'm in my early twenties? Or do I have to really throw that "mid" part in there now? It has been a wonderful week so far; that has spilled into a wonderful day. So many people surprised me this year, and it means so much, because as ya'll know I was a little down and out for a minute there. Just when I write everybody off, they step up to the plate. I appreciate each and every person that has shown me love today. I'm not mad at the fact that I hadn't been able to sleep since midnight, because of the horribly sung songs, text messages and calls. Special thanks goes out to these folks...
Ma Kisses (The Bestie) - Thanks for always being here for me. We have been through so much since last year, and it looks like things are finally back on track. I ain't mad at you for not getting my Golden Girls DVD sets "bic", loll. Only, because I know we're going to have a Grand time tonight at my favorite Mexican restaurant. I love you like none other; my sister from another mother. Thank you for being you, and accepting me for being me. Simple and plain. Love you bic; see you soon!
Regina(black) & Tabu(blue) - Thanks guys so much for the "Fried Chicken Shindig" last weekend. The first one of '09 in honor of me. I had a lot of fun. Regina, you already know we are making history in this friendship with each day that passes. I'd never thought you'd actually stick around this long friend!! It's been a wrap every since we met over 3 years ago. You get on my damn nerves, but you make my life sweeter, and I appreciate you.
Redd - Whewww!!! I don't even know what to say about you, lmao. I met you through the bestie, and have loved you ever since. I am super comfortable with the fact of knowing that you'd do anything for me, and I'll do anything for you. You're always down to ride out wherever, whenever. Your ass is getting old too though! You're up next! 21?! OMG!!!! The world will stop spinning. I been waiting for you to turn 21 for yearssssssss!!! Lol, I love you fool. Don't act an ass as dinner tonight please!
My Big Sister - You've been M.I.A lately, but I know I'll catch up with you soon. You literally are my sister from another mother, but we share the same mister and I couldn't be more delighted. We are like oil and water, but nobody knows me better. Thanks for all that you've done for me, and all the advice given over the years. See ya Sunday!
The Parents - Bottom line, I wouldn't be here without ya'll. I couldn't ask for better parents. Things haven't always been peaches and cream, but I don't regret any of it, because it all made me who I am today. Daddy, I get my common sense, charm, and strong will from you. My Queen Bea, I get my leveled head, my sarcasm, my height (lol), my determination and my loyalty from you. I love both of ya'll more than words can say.
All the above people mentioned hold a special place in my heart. I couldn't name everybody, but those of you not mentioned know who you are and where we stand. Just having these folks here by my side is the best birthday gift I could ever ask for.
February 12, 2009 marks a date of rebirth for Tamica Nicole. Life up to this point has been remarkable to say the least. I've had my share of ups and downs like every other person walking this earth. My perspective on many things in life have changed since last year. Fuck turned over a new leaf, I'm about to uproot the whole damn tree and plant 10 more. I gotta go, because clearly I'm going to be late for my own shindig! Thanks to the blog fam who already showed me love!!!
Peace
"Stop the track! Let me state facts. I told you give me a minute and I'll be right back!"Since the new year I've been down, but I'm up again. It could be the 3 redbulls I had this morning, but I'm going to run with this feeling anyway. Yesterday my horoscope told me to be revolutionary in my thinking. Revolutionary is a powerful word. Positive change is in action! Well I came to a few revolutions this morning driving to work.
1. If I liked it, then I would've put a ring on it, and sweetheart's hand is as bare as a baby's behind. Now she gonna learn, what it really feels like to miss me. It's funny how all this delicate attention is being given to me when I'm out the door. Ahhhh again! "People never get the flowers while they can still smell em'!"
2. I was trying to take folks to another level when I realized there were no passengers on my plane.
So you're Beyonce now?! Yes, I've heard this bitch so much, that I believe I'm Sasha Fierce. Okay, I'm going to stop quoting B, but seriously…
3. I'm everything I need to fill every void within me.
4. People whose heads are stuck up their asses have no room for Mica Mica in their lives. So I gotta kick em' out, kick em' out, kick em' out. Switch em' out, switch em' out, switch em' out! Was that B. again? Sorry.
5. 2009 is not the year for me to settle. I've settled for 24 years. This year marks my 25th. That's in 36 days to be exact. Wonder if my friends (whoever they might be) will be around for that occasion. Probably not. Oh wait! Revolutionary thinking!!
6. I am going to concentrate on my family more. I've been worried about other folks, who clearly ain't worried about me. It's time to focus on the ones that actually matter, and who will be here when it's all said and done. I went to church with my mom on Sunday, and I need to do that more often. I surprised her on Sunday, and just seeing the look and smile on my Queen Bea's face melted my little ice cold heart. I want to see that smile every chance I get. So I'm coming around more mom! I promise.
7. January 1st was the anniversary of my big brother's murder. I think so heavily around this time of year. Speaking on family above, I want to reach out to his 3 little girls more. The last time I saw them, they were little. One was an infant. I know they are so big now. I mean I just saw my sister's kids last weekend and my nephew is going to be 16 this year, and my niece just turned 13 last week. I know my brother's oldest daughter who is the spitting image of him, has to be at least 17 or 18 now. If I find them, I hope that they accept me and shower me with love like they did the Christmas at my parents house which was the last time I got to hug my bro; 6 days before he died.
8. I'm actually doing good in my life. I did so much shit last year that I am super proud of. I'm maintaining, and I'm growing on so many levels (no short jokes needed, but highly anticipated.) I want to keep it all going this year. It started off rocky, but that was my own fault. I swallowed myself in my own sorrow. I found myself blaming others for my misery, which went against what I try to live by.
I guess you can see these are my revolutionary resolutions for my year of continuation. I want to start writing again, because I feel so discombobulated when I don't. I'm surely not trying to lose my damn mind in '09!!!
Labels:
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Get Your Mind Right,
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Well Friday is finally here! That means a nice 3 day weekend! I was so looking forward to this. I still have my vacation time to look forward to as well. Can't wait. It's Ms. Kisses birthday weekend. She doesn't want to do anything. She sucks, I swear, loll. I don't blame her though. We both aren't big on surprise parties and too much attention. So we will probably go out to a nice little club with a good atmosphere. It's so hard to find a nice gay club out here in Houston. Either they are non existent or they are filled with kids that are only gay, because their friend is gay. It sucks. I just want to go to a nice gay hang out, where it isn't too much shoot em' up kill em' music, children, or even 70 yr old lesbians. Now that I think about it; are their any normal gays in Houston that aren't in hiding? Hm, I'll have to do some research on that one.
Aquarius - August 29, 2008
The house might seem rather empty today, dear Aquarius, as most of the other members of your household are probably out and about. This is, however, a good time for you to take care of some projects of your own that you've been putting off. They might be tedious and rather boring, but think of how good you'll feel when they're finally done! In the evening, you might entertain some visitors. Enjoy your day.
Well this weekend I plan to do some cleaning. Go to the store and buy a crap load of cleaning supplies and clean my ass off. It's time that I do so. I can't stand doing it, so I put it off. My apartment isn't filthy or anything, being that I can't sleep in filth or if anything is out of place; I just know I need to give some special attention to some things. I am SO not looking forward to it. I know someone who cleans everyday as if Obama and his family are coming over for dinner. Ugh! I don't see how she does it. Maybe she has an OCD. *Smiles*
This week was pretty long for me. Work is really kicking my ass, but it's the end of the month so all is to be expected. We lose a day of work, because of the holiday. So I'm bitter sweet about having Monday off. I'm busting my ass today to get a lot of stuff done, because all of my deadlines have to be met by the 3rd. Sucks major ass. I really need to hit the lotto, trick some ho's, rob a bank or something; this just isn't cutting it. Got paid today and then turned around and dished all my money out towards rent and bills. We work for the man and then in turn give back to the man. *Slits writs* Ugh! I don't even want to think about it.
I learned a lot about communication this week . I realize that alot of the time when anger overpowers our other emotions, we lose our sense of hearing. We no longer hear the cries of the ones who are trying to communicate with us. In fact, we don't even want to hear them. It is at that very moment, you drown yourself in your own pool of emotions. You see or hear nothing else but what you feel. Your point becomes the only point that should be getting across. It is no longer who is at fault, because both parties aren't listening. You sit and you become angrier because you THINK the right things aren't being said. Oh but they are. No one is listening though. There has been a wall built up in between the two of you and each punch that is taken is only felt by you. You're becoming more numb by the second, until you can't feel anything. Then you sit in silence. No more words are said and no more punches are thrown. The only thing you hear is your own heartbeat slowing down to it's normal pace. The anger is dissolving and that wall is crumbling. This is when your senses come back. You begin to speak as the other person listens and you can see all of the damage that both of you have done. This is where the choices have to be made. And whatever you choose, it's okay, because there is not understanding. Communication is all that was needed. It's all that is ever needed. But when one stops listening the other will soon follow suit. Blah, blah, blah. It usually all happens again and again and again anyway. The fact of the matter is; people change when it's convenient. It's hardly ever permanent.
Well, lunch time is over! I hope everyone has a dope weekend, stays safe and has fun! Lots of fun! Oh and man fuck these hurricanes man. Dodge it if you can.
This is nice. It really is. I never thought I'd see it happen in my lifetime. However, it scares me shitless. My mind state on this whole thing is so much more different than that of the average American.
I snagged this from The Dreamy One. I thought it was a nice blog idea, and so did she; since she snagged it from someone else, loll.
I miss…
- My mom telling me not to go around the corner while riding my bike on a Saturday afternoon.
- Jumping in my bed during the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep.
- Going to the skating ring every Friday and buying pickles so big, we had to eat them with two hands.
- Sitting next to my bestfriend during church and passing notes back and forth.
- Playing pencil break.
-Taking school pictures and stealing the little combs provided by the photographers.
- Collecting rocks from the school playground.
- Watching old VHS tapes at my cousins house and waiting for my Aunt to finish her homemade french fries.
- Hugging my big brother.
- Playing games with my niece and nephew.
- Going to my old church.
- The long lunch break during the all day; 3 day bible conventions.
- Collecting movie ticket stubs.
- Going to class.
- Doing homework.
- My mama's home cooked meals.
- My parents telling me to clean my room.
- Talking on the phone with my cousin for hours about video games.
- Writing my first boyfriends name on every single paper I could get my hands on.
- Splash Friday
- Dragging my mom to the neighborhood pool and telling her "just 5 more minutes"
- Basketball practice
- My first car.
- Slamming my book down on the desk when my old history teacher use to fall asleep in mid sentence.
- Paris Coffee and Tenkia Carter; we were 3 da hard way.
- Anticipating my high school graduation.
- Being loved unconditionally.
- Going out on a real date.
- Having sex with strings attached. I miss actually feeling something.
- Writing poetry recited from the heart and not the mind.
- Another Bad Creation
- Fame City
- Astroworld and Waterworld
- Discovery Zone
- Childhood
- Not having a worry in the world.
Whewwww this list can go on and on. I enjoyed writing this very much. I actually dropped a few tears, because I realize how much things have changed in my life and how far I have come.
What do you miss??
I miss…
- My mom telling me not to go around the corner while riding my bike on a Saturday afternoon.
- Jumping in my bed during the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep.
- Going to the skating ring every Friday and buying pickles so big, we had to eat them with two hands.
- Sitting next to my bestfriend during church and passing notes back and forth.
- Playing pencil break.
-Taking school pictures and stealing the little combs provided by the photographers.
- Collecting rocks from the school playground.
- Watching old VHS tapes at my cousins house and waiting for my Aunt to finish her homemade french fries.
- Hugging my big brother.
- Playing games with my niece and nephew.
- Going to my old church.
- The long lunch break during the all day; 3 day bible conventions.
- Collecting movie ticket stubs.
- Going to class.
- Doing homework.
- My mama's home cooked meals.
- My parents telling me to clean my room.
- Talking on the phone with my cousin for hours about video games.
- Writing my first boyfriends name on every single paper I could get my hands on.
- Splash Friday
- Dragging my mom to the neighborhood pool and telling her "just 5 more minutes"
- Basketball practice
- My first car.
- Slamming my book down on the desk when my old history teacher use to fall asleep in mid sentence.
- Paris Coffee and Tenkia Carter; we were 3 da hard way.
- Anticipating my high school graduation.
- Being loved unconditionally.
- Going out on a real date.
- Having sex with strings attached. I miss actually feeling something.
- Writing poetry recited from the heart and not the mind.
- Another Bad Creation
- Fame City
- Astroworld and Waterworld
- Discovery Zone
- Childhood
- Not having a worry in the world.
Whewwww this list can go on and on. I enjoyed writing this very much. I actually dropped a few tears, because I realize how much things have changed in my life and how far I have come.
What do you miss??
Everyone who knows me understands my sentiments on kids. I can't stand them ya'll. However they love to be around me if I accidently end up in the same vicinity of them. And it's not like I'm super sweet to them either. Maybe they take me being mean and grouchy as comedy. Who knows? It's always like that. *Sigh*
My friend who use to work at the same company as I brought her 9 month old son up to the office to visit. I remember when she was pregnant and she use to ask me everyday, "Tamica are you SURE you don't want any kids?" She did it to irritate me for her own sick pleasures, loll. Elijah is so cute though. I was happy to see my friend and when I saw the little bugger I couldn't help but to smile. He is a very happy baby. He kept laughing and tried to feed me slobbered down crackers. Ugh. I let him sit in my seat and do some of my work…which ended up in him damn near crashing the computer. Smh.
This is so surreal! Me, a man, and some kids?! GTFO! Bring on the turkey baster, because this is NOT how it's going down!
My friend who use to work at the same company as I brought her 9 month old son up to the office to visit. I remember when she was pregnant and she use to ask me everyday, "Tamica are you SURE you don't want any kids?" She did it to irritate me for her own sick pleasures, loll. Elijah is so cute though. I was happy to see my friend and when I saw the little bugger I couldn't help but to smile. He is a very happy baby. He kept laughing and tried to feed me slobbered down crackers. Ugh. I let him sit in my seat and do some of my work…which ended up in him damn near crashing the computer. Smh.
I can't like some kids are cute. But I think they are at their cutest when they are sleeping and just for the simple fact that THEY AREN'T MINE! Omg, I would SO be an unfit mother. I'm surprised my niece and nephew survived their first summer with me. Boy did we struggle! I was reading a blog earlier about marriage and I've never dreamed of a big wedding. Married with kids, ha! Fuck no, that's not for me. I think it's a beautiful thing, when it works and two people succeed at it. Don't get me wrong. But for Tamica Nicole, I'll pass. People keep saying that I'm only 24 and I'll change my mind. Well I'm a woman who is very stuck in here ways. I've had the same "I wanna barf" attitude about it as far back as I can remember and it hasn't changed yet. Who knows though, maybe people are right. By the time I'm 30 I'll be married with 3 kids and dog.
This is so surreal! Me, a man, and some kids?! GTFO! Bring on the turkey baster, because this is NOT how it's going down!I am on edge today and in a serious bitch mode; so I opted not to post anything today. However, I had to introduce someone to you guys. This woman has been here with me for quite some time. I've been knowing her for a very long time. Although we've had our fair share of disagreements and fall outs; in my heart she is my greatest friend. She's my damn sanity ya'll and the best part of my damn day. She's always been a devoted reader of mine and is not afraid to give her honest opinion. So with all of that said everyone meet. Ms. Kisses!
Ya'll check out her blogs. If you want it raw, heartfelt, humorous and downright honest; peep this little lady here. UrbaneKisses (click the link). Tell her I sent you!
Man, I had one hell of a weekend. Even though I'm tired come Monday morning, I do enjoy experiencing two fun filled days. I didn't go to work this weekend, as I should have; instead I stayed at home. Blah. Anyway, I'll pay for the consequences of that later. After hanging out with my friends and doing things that we use to do back in the day; I came to a few revelations this weekend. The most important one is that having a social life is very healthy and it maintains your youth.Monday, August 25, 2008
Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
You are not overly excited about working too much today, especially if your heart is set on creating time to kick back and relax. If you are presented with the opportunity of teaching or otherwise playing with youngsters, don't hesitate to say "yes". And in the meantime, keep up the fun activities with your friends.
Sometimes I get so involved in my life's responsibilities that I forget to have fun. I convince myself that I don't have time to goof around or take a break. I will go months cancelling on my friends with outings, drinks, parties or just hanging out. I would rather stay inside my apartment; reading blogs, writing blogs, watching DVDs or chatting on AOL. LAME, LAME, LAME! Well, let me take the blog part back, because I truly do enjoy reading and writing blogs; fuck what anybody thinks about that.
I'm young, confident, focused and single! I have no reason not to be having fun. I am an extreme home body, but I don't want to become older and be stuck in my house miserable. I live in a big city with a lot to do and yeah I have two jobs, but it's still no excuse to commit social suicide. People have been asking for quite some time "where have you been?", "is Mica still alive", "why don't you chill with us anymore?" Welp…Mica is back people. I'm going to start hitting the Houston scene again. My friend network is confidently secure again and I'm still extremely happy with my life. I took whatever time I needed to take to re-evaluate myself and seek the reasons why I have had so many clashes with people in my past. Now that I have my solutions and have redirected my mindset on the human species; I must get back on the road.
So to all my friends whom I hung out with this weekend, thanks for not ditching me totally, loll. We will have many more weekends to come like the one we just had.
In this day in age, we're all feeling the wrath of the screwed up economy. Some of us have had to alter our lifestyles just to make it day by day. Hey, I'm scrapping pennies and am not ashamed to admit it. Everybody isn't able to ball out of control. However, we all have a friend that claims to be balling out of control, but is lying their asses off! So I got this article from a friend of mine and we found it to be very helpful. I've altered it a little bit to reach a particular audience! So here are a few tips on balling on a budget and keeping it real.
1.) Don't watch me, watch T.V.
Please stop trying to compete with your friends. Just because they go out and buy cars, new clothes and purchase new furniture; does not mean you have to take it a step further and buy a new hummer, an entire new wardrobe, and purchase a new house. Stop watching your friends so closely just to try and out do them. Fucking trap stars; you're trapped in this vicious cycle and have no idea how to get out. You're only digging your hole deeper and deeper. It's okay to buy things when you are ready. Bitch you know you broke; act like it.
2.) Stop lying.
Stop making irrelevant announcements about what you have and what you're going to get. We all know that you're not getting shit. Your real friends know the truth already, and they will accept you regardless of how much you have in the bank account. True friends look out for one another in this area. If you broke, we got you. If we all broke, we hit up the nearest value menu, stay in the house and enjoy each other's company. "To get what you've never had; you must do what you've never done" and STOP LYING! No one believes what you're saying anyway. Bitch you know you broke; act like it.
3. Balling on A Budget.
You know how much free stuff is at our fingertips in this world?! You're trying to join high class gyms, when you can walk out your front door and go on a brisk jog; or a full sprint to dodge the bullets flying at your head in your ghetto ass neighborhood. Stop trying to keep up with your friends by accepting invitations on expensive ass vacations. You know you can't go, so just say so. Tell them you'll catch them next time or suggest something more suitable to fit your financial situation. Your real friends will understand. Bitch you know you broke; act like it.
4. Paycheck to Paycheck.
Instead of coming up with lies as to why you can't make a certain event planned by your friends; keep it real and let them know that you don't get paid until next week and to holler at you then! It's okay if you can't go see a movie in the theatres, we ALL KNOW a bootleg man. We can just come over your place and make it a movie night in the house. Plan ahead of time. Budget out your expenses and when that next paycheck comes you'll be ready. You know you're broke man; act like it!
5. Do you.
Spend your money how you want to spend it. Don't let others decide for you. Peer pressure is a MOTHER for some people. None of your friends are paying your bills and damn sure aren't paying your rent that is due on Saturday, but you realllyyy want to go to the club with them on Friday. Go head, and you won't have a place to live on Sunday. Prioritize. Do things at your own leisure. You're broke; act like it.
In conclusion, if you have to pay for your friendships and break your bank just to keep up with them, you need to find a new group of friends. Maybe a nice homeless man or woman. They are always friendly, but who knows you'll probably be trying to keep up with them as well. Damn circus monkeys! Barnum and Bailey is in town and they need a new act; go apply. You know you need the money!
1.) Don't watch me, watch T.V.
Please stop trying to compete with your friends. Just because they go out and buy cars, new clothes and purchase new furniture; does not mean you have to take it a step further and buy a new hummer, an entire new wardrobe, and purchase a new house. Stop watching your friends so closely just to try and out do them. Fucking trap stars; you're trapped in this vicious cycle and have no idea how to get out. You're only digging your hole deeper and deeper. It's okay to buy things when you are ready. Bitch you know you broke; act like it.
2.) Stop lying.
Stop making irrelevant announcements about what you have and what you're going to get. We all know that you're not getting shit. Your real friends know the truth already, and they will accept you regardless of how much you have in the bank account. True friends look out for one another in this area. If you broke, we got you. If we all broke, we hit up the nearest value menu, stay in the house and enjoy each other's company. "To get what you've never had; you must do what you've never done" and STOP LYING! No one believes what you're saying anyway. Bitch you know you broke; act like it.
3. Balling on A Budget.
You know how much free stuff is at our fingertips in this world?! You're trying to join high class gyms, when you can walk out your front door and go on a brisk jog; or a full sprint to dodge the bullets flying at your head in your ghetto ass neighborhood. Stop trying to keep up with your friends by accepting invitations on expensive ass vacations. You know you can't go, so just say so. Tell them you'll catch them next time or suggest something more suitable to fit your financial situation. Your real friends will understand. Bitch you know you broke; act like it.
4. Paycheck to Paycheck.
Instead of coming up with lies as to why you can't make a certain event planned by your friends; keep it real and let them know that you don't get paid until next week and to holler at you then! It's okay if you can't go see a movie in the theatres, we ALL KNOW a bootleg man. We can just come over your place and make it a movie night in the house. Plan ahead of time. Budget out your expenses and when that next paycheck comes you'll be ready. You know you're broke man; act like it!
5. Do you.
Spend your money how you want to spend it. Don't let others decide for you. Peer pressure is a MOTHER for some people. None of your friends are paying your bills and damn sure aren't paying your rent that is due on Saturday, but you realllyyy want to go to the club with them on Friday. Go head, and you won't have a place to live on Sunday. Prioritize. Do things at your own leisure. You're broke; act like it.
In conclusion, if you have to pay for your friendships and break your bank just to keep up with them, you need to find a new group of friends. Maybe a nice homeless man or woman. They are always friendly, but who knows you'll probably be trying to keep up with them as well. Damn circus monkeys! Barnum and Bailey is in town and they need a new act; go apply. You know you need the money!
Okay, I felt my day taking a slight turn and this only happened within 2 hours. No worries. I'm still all smiles. One of my expectations turned into a slight disappointment is all. It seems as if no one has anything significant to say to me today. I think I'm over it now though. So it's said that keeping the heart warm will bring great blessings. I can vow this to be true. When my heart is at it's warmest temperature; great things seem to happen. My days are so much brighter and the blessings come by the millisecond it seems.
Walk tall as the trees,
live strong as the mountains,
be gentle as the spring winds,
keep the warmth of the summer sun
in your heart, and the great spirit
will always be with you.
- American Indian Proverb, "unknown tribe"
I think the quote truly speaks for itself. Not really much to elaborate on when it comes to the meaning of it. Ingredients as follows; self esteem, strength, humility and kindness. Mix together in your heart and watch what miracles occur. This is the recipe for great blessings.
I can't say that everything has gone smooth for me this year thus far. In fact, a lot of fucked up things have occurred. I have taken it all in stride though. I've kept moving in life and have let none of it hold me down. People have made fun of my height for years and they still do on a day to day basis. I'm a Shorty; get over it, please. Truth be told; I do walk as tall as the trees. I stand high above so many; mentally and spiritually. So I continue to laugh at the immature remarks being spoken, because I know how tall I stand in life. I know how strong I am in life. I know that every trial and tribulation I experience will only make me stronger and wiser. I know that I can be hard at times and my skin can be very tough to break on the outside. I have a very big problem with letting people in my heart, but once you're in there; I can be the most gentle and kindest person you know. It just takes awhile to get there, loll.
All in all, I'm happy with the woman that I've grown to be. I wouldn't change me for anyone or anything. I'm confident in my thinking, actions, and all around being. People don’t like me, and I respect them for their opinions. Everyone isn't going to like who you are in life. Someone will always have a problem. I've proven to be a weirdo and one who is constantly misunderstood. I am a life long study that will more than likely never be figured out. I love that! I love the mystery behind my own eyes. I love the interest that are peaked within the first 5 minutes of conversing with me. Turns me on, haha. I turn me on! Too much information? Lmao, I'm sure. Sorry.
I want to thank my loved ones who have loved me since the beginning of time. Love is a powerful thing. When it's lost it hurts like hell, but when it comes back and is received all over again; the feeling is indescribable. This brings the warmth of the heart up a few notches and is THE GREATEST blessing of all blessings. So those who have stuck it out with me this year and who have not turned their backs on me, I appreciate you. I welcome the new comers into my life, because even though you've been here for a short period of time, you've still made an impact on my life. You all have added flavor to my great recipe for blessings. Because of you, I'm winning. The victory smells and tastes like a warm peach cobbler! Okay, Okay, I'm getting mushy. I must go now. Someone turned the heat on here at the office, so we all may die soon. So if you don't hear from me again; you know what happened. Peace.
Walk tall as the trees,
live strong as the mountains,
be gentle as the spring winds,
keep the warmth of the summer sun
in your heart, and the great spirit
will always be with you.
- American Indian Proverb, "unknown tribe"
I think the quote truly speaks for itself. Not really much to elaborate on when it comes to the meaning of it. Ingredients as follows; self esteem, strength, humility and kindness. Mix together in your heart and watch what miracles occur. This is the recipe for great blessings.
I can't say that everything has gone smooth for me this year thus far. In fact, a lot of fucked up things have occurred. I have taken it all in stride though. I've kept moving in life and have let none of it hold me down. People have made fun of my height for years and they still do on a day to day basis. I'm a Shorty; get over it, please. Truth be told; I do walk as tall as the trees. I stand high above so many; mentally and spiritually. So I continue to laugh at the immature remarks being spoken, because I know how tall I stand in life. I know how strong I am in life. I know that every trial and tribulation I experience will only make me stronger and wiser. I know that I can be hard at times and my skin can be very tough to break on the outside. I have a very big problem with letting people in my heart, but once you're in there; I can be the most gentle and kindest person you know. It just takes awhile to get there, loll.
All in all, I'm happy with the woman that I've grown to be. I wouldn't change me for anyone or anything. I'm confident in my thinking, actions, and all around being. People don’t like me, and I respect them for their opinions. Everyone isn't going to like who you are in life. Someone will always have a problem. I've proven to be a weirdo and one who is constantly misunderstood. I am a life long study that will more than likely never be figured out. I love that! I love the mystery behind my own eyes. I love the interest that are peaked within the first 5 minutes of conversing with me. Turns me on, haha. I turn me on! Too much information? Lmao, I'm sure. Sorry.
I want to thank my loved ones who have loved me since the beginning of time. Love is a powerful thing. When it's lost it hurts like hell, but when it comes back and is received all over again; the feeling is indescribable. This brings the warmth of the heart up a few notches and is THE GREATEST blessing of all blessings. So those who have stuck it out with me this year and who have not turned their backs on me, I appreciate you. I welcome the new comers into my life, because even though you've been here for a short period of time, you've still made an impact on my life. You all have added flavor to my great recipe for blessings. Because of you, I'm winning. The victory smells and tastes like a warm peach cobbler! Okay, Okay, I'm getting mushy. I must go now. Someone turned the heat on here at the office, so we all may die soon. So if you don't hear from me again; you know what happened. Peace.
Yes, yes ya'll it's Friday! The week just flew by for me and I am grateful of that. Today is going to be another great day. I still have a lot of work to do, but I got paid. So I won't complain today. It's seriously hot outside, but it is a very beautiful day. I'm sitting here listening to Pattie Labelle on the radio and she is cutting up. It's black music month, so I've really been more into music than what I normally am. Pattie Labelle being one of my favorite singers; still looking good and sounding spectacular. Get it Ms. Pattie!
So this week has been pretty good for me. I'm digging this transitional phase I'm going through and am embracing it with open arms. Instead of going further into my shell as I thought I might, I decided to try the opposite and come further out of it. It's kind of nice out here too. I'm meeting new people, making new friends, going on new adventures and really just loving life.
Aquarius - June 6, 2008
So this week has been pretty good for me. I'm digging this transitional phase I'm going through and am embracing it with open arms. Instead of going further into my shell as I thought I might, I decided to try the opposite and come further out of it. It's kind of nice out here too. I'm meeting new people, making new friends, going on new adventures and really just loving life.
Aquarius - June 6, 2008
You will find yourself working quite well with any group today, dear Aquarius. You will find that there is a greater connection between you and the people around you. Make sure, however, that you ground your relationship on something meaningful; otherwise, you may find that you have built a whole reality out of something that doesn't really exist. Be true to yourself and try not to get fooled by that which seems too good to be true.
I've realized that I was allowing people in my life to outshine me. I was okay with always taking the back burner and beating to their drum. Things that I wanted to do, I would put on hold until they were ready. There is none of that anymore. I've opened the door to invite new friends in, but I am being very careful with how I do so and how many I let in. I'm pretty reserved and don't like a whole lot of people around me as is. So I won't go overboard. I've been saying yes to those invitations that people have been extending to me for quite awhile now, but I was too caught up in the rapture of friends that I thought would be around forever. Now that they have decided to go their own way, I've realized that I've neglected so many and have really been missing out on a lot.
This weekend looks as if it will be a good one. I have a couple of movies to catch up on in the theatres. My co-worker invited me to go see Sex In The City tonight, and I might just have to break down and go see that. I was never a fan of the show and probably won't be a fan of the movie either, but I would like to see what all the hype is about. Plus my baby mama, J-Hud is in it! So that is reason enough for me to go and see it. I'm feeling a little frisky, so I just might take my good friend up on her offer as well and go to the club tonight. I haven't been in a few weeks so I think it'll be fun. Plus I could use a 151 punch, loll. In the words of Ms. Pattie, " Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?" haha!
I do hope everyone has a safe and fun weekend!
For some reason I woke up a little disturbed. You know how you have a situation with someone where all you both can do is agree to disagree? Unfortunately, that does not stop you from still being pissed off about it. It's true that somethings we just don't have the power to do on our own. There are two way streets in friendships and relationships. I have been dealing with the fact that for going on 2 months now, I have been still making someone a priority when it comes to my thoughts, when I am painfully aware of the fact that I'm an option in their thoughts. I have always been a late reactor when it comes to my emotions. Some shit can go down and I'll be as calm as the sea, a week later I'm mad as hell, loll. I don't know why it takes things so long to phase me, if they phase me at all. I just have learned my lesson with jumping to conclusion and getting mad over ridiculous shit, so I just remain calm and peep the scene before I decide to show any emotion.
Aquarius - June 3, 2008
There is some tension in the air today, dear Aquarius. Even though none of it is your doing, you may want to keep a rather low profile, especially if you need to work. Try to avoid getting into any kind of discussions. Just because someone gets confrontational does not mean that you have to take the bait. It would be much better if you did not. Keep to yourself and tomorrow all of this will have blown over. It will be safe to start mingling with others again.
I pray every morning, and I ask God for patience, but sometimes Him and I just don't see eye to eye on this whole time thing. I try not to question His timing, but of course as a human I want things done right then and there. It hardly ever happens that way, but oddly enough, it happens at the right time. On the drive to work this morning, I tried to escape my angry thoughts to no prevail. I have no doubt in my mind that today will be a good day. I took a flex day off from Comcast tonight; which I think was a good idea for more reasons than one.
So today I shall avoid confrontation and try not to go off on anyone, loll. Even though I did shed a few tears this morning, I'm smiling. I'm jamming my Chrisette Michelle and I'm going to try to get through this huge pile of CRAP on my desk. If anyone does happen to come at me out the side of their neck today, I'll just roll with the punches.
Growing up in a religion that was very strict; I never indulged too much in astrology. Every now and then I would check out my daily horoscope and would find myself surprised at how on point it was. I always brushed it off as coincidence and even to this day, I still do at times. The more people I've met, friends I've made and long-term, short-term and intimate relationships I've had; I found it interesting to do my research on each person's astrological sign. This definitely helped me understand more about human behavior and how to react with each person I came across. It also taught me a lot about myself and why I do most of the things I do and why I think in the ways that I do.
Being an Aquarius certainly has it's perks. We are truly one of a kind and our intelligence is beyond the sky. The line of creativity, imagination and strength is never ending. We are great lovers when we find worth in the right one. It's just hard to find the right one. Fear and analytical ways stop us from doing so. We are indeed misunderstood by most, but understood amongst those of our kind. We straight up don't reside on the same planet as everyone else. This alone makes us intriguing, mysterious and wanted by many. This is just the very least of it all. We most definitely have our flaws, but most of the time those flaws are our greatest qualities. Many would disagree with me and these are probably the ones that have been let go by an Aquarius, loll. Hey, I didn't say everyone would dig us! That is okay though, because folks like us, dig ourselves too much to really care if anyone else does! This brings me to today's horoscope concerning friendships, tolerance and patience:
Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
You are quite capable of taking care of yourself -- and this often works in your favor. Now, however, you are so responsive to what everyone else needs that you may feel frustrated or even resentful about how much you must give of yourself. Nevertheless, it's worth exploring your own discomfort so you can push through any negativity. Being a better friend to others will make you happier with yourself.
It does make me happy when my friends are happy. I feel at peace when they have made it over their life's humps and have taken on a new lesson in life. In some way I feel accomplished as well, because I was there to help in some way and also learn right along with them. I'm truly not a people person, but I love the study of people. I don't have many friends, so that makes the few friendships that I do have very dear to me. So therefore, I do suck up whatever personal problems I may be facing and I'm there all the way for my friends!
Just don't bother me during C.S.I, Big Brother, Amazing Race or Survivor: ya'll know the drill, loll!
Being an Aquarius certainly has it's perks. We are truly one of a kind and our intelligence is beyond the sky. The line of creativity, imagination and strength is never ending. We are great lovers when we find worth in the right one. It's just hard to find the right one. Fear and analytical ways stop us from doing so. We are indeed misunderstood by most, but understood amongst those of our kind. We straight up don't reside on the same planet as everyone else. This alone makes us intriguing, mysterious and wanted by many. This is just the very least of it all. We most definitely have our flaws, but most of the time those flaws are our greatest qualities. Many would disagree with me and these are probably the ones that have been let go by an Aquarius, loll. Hey, I didn't say everyone would dig us! That is okay though, because folks like us, dig ourselves too much to really care if anyone else does! This brings me to today's horoscope concerning friendships, tolerance and patience:
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
You are quite capable of taking care of yourself -- and this often works in your favor. Now, however, you are so responsive to what everyone else needs that you may feel frustrated or even resentful about how much you must give of yourself. Nevertheless, it's worth exploring your own discomfort so you can push through any negativity. Being a better friend to others will make you happier with yourself.
I have been struggling in the friend department lately. As a matter of fact some of my friendships are on life support holding on to every breath taken. This has left me on edge and has pushed me into that ever so comfortable shell I'm used to crawling into. I never really thought about the status of other friendships that I have with people being jeopardized because of the downfall of my main friendships. I have come to realize that people in my life actually do confide in me and expect me to be there for them during their time of need; as I should be. I've gone into this selfish state and have been ignoring the knocks of many begging me to come out and listen to their problems and empathize with them in some kind of way. Despite of the way I feel at the moment, I must be there for my friends, because they've never turned their backs on me when I needed them. So, I suck it all up and lend my shoulder to cry on and my ears to speak upon. Some of the things that I've heard lately are some things that I can honestly say I do NOT agree with, but I keep my mouth closed and still listen. Yes, it does make me somewhat uncomfortable, because I'd rather be hiding under a rock, shunning myself from the outside world, but duty as a friend calls.
It does make me happy when my friends are happy. I feel at peace when they have made it over their life's humps and have taken on a new lesson in life. In some way I feel accomplished as well, because I was there to help in some way and also learn right along with them. I'm truly not a people person, but I love the study of people. I don't have many friends, so that makes the few friendships that I do have very dear to me. So therefore, I do suck up whatever personal problems I may be facing and I'm there all the way for my friends!
Just don't bother me during C.S.I, Big Brother, Amazing Race or Survivor: ya'll know the drill, loll!
TGIF!! I say that with the utmost sincerity and excitement! The last day of a hectic week. Hectic in so many ways, might I add. I'm sitting here re-tracing all of the thoughts, emotions and events that took place. Mentally, I was all over the place this week! My mind took a hike around the world and it took me through a lot of obstacles and emotional mazes. I didn't know just how much of a control freak I was until now. I've always had complete control over everything in my life, and when things don't go that way; oh boy. During this mental hike, I analyzed all the current issues that I didn't control that had my mind blown. Coming to grips with the fact that I can't control everything and that sometimes it is okay to lose control; i started to feel a little better. It was then that I found my peace zone and was finally able to exhale.
It's definitely time for new blessings in my life. It's impossible to receive those blessings when I have my my "junk" and other people's "junk" blocking them. I have a habit of taking the blame for other people's issues. This is definitely the case when it comes to close friends and family. To avoid confrontation and change in our relationship, I take the blame for everything and take complete control over the situation. I can't do that anymore. No matter how much I love a person, I can't be held responsible for their "junk". Tamica is guilty of alot of things, but shes not guilty of everything. Those things I am guilty of, I repent for those guilts and ask for forgiveness. I am facing the fears of change and learning to take a loss. I'm being truly grown and learning how to love people enough to let them go. In fact, I had to file alot things that occurred this week in my "let it go and let God" folder. When its all let go of and thrown upon Him, this makes room for those new blessings created for me. I declare this day to be the first day of the rest of my life. I truly am appreciative of the people in my life that has been there for me no matter what. I am not the friendliest person or the easiest person to get along with. Yet and still, those roots under my tree still keep me standing tall. They never break from underneath me. They never let something petty break our friendship apart. My best interest is in their heart, and I am so honored to have friends and family like this in my life.
I am ready to kick start this weekend. Sadly, I have to work tonight and tomorrow night, but that is alright. I have a date with my big sister tonight and we're going to spend some quality time with one another. I'm trying to get her on to this whole blogging thing. I know it'll be right up her alley. Although, not as many people read and comment on my blog as I'd like, but it's still enjoyable. I still plan on going back home this weekend to hang out with the parents. I haven't been to "church" in quite some time so Sunday is the day that I partake in a visit that is long over due.
I wish everyone a eventful and safe weekend ahead. It's a tad big gloomy here in Texas, but the sun is surely shining in my world!
It's definitely time for new blessings in my life. It's impossible to receive those blessings when I have my my "junk" and other people's "junk" blocking them. I have a habit of taking the blame for other people's issues. This is definitely the case when it comes to close friends and family. To avoid confrontation and change in our relationship, I take the blame for everything and take complete control over the situation. I can't do that anymore. No matter how much I love a person, I can't be held responsible for their "junk". Tamica is guilty of alot of things, but shes not guilty of everything. Those things I am guilty of, I repent for those guilts and ask for forgiveness. I am facing the fears of change and learning to take a loss. I'm being truly grown and learning how to love people enough to let them go. In fact, I had to file alot things that occurred this week in my "let it go and let God" folder. When its all let go of and thrown upon Him, this makes room for those new blessings created for me. I declare this day to be the first day of the rest of my life. I truly am appreciative of the people in my life that has been there for me no matter what. I am not the friendliest person or the easiest person to get along with. Yet and still, those roots under my tree still keep me standing tall. They never break from underneath me. They never let something petty break our friendship apart. My best interest is in their heart, and I am so honored to have friends and family like this in my life.
I am ready to kick start this weekend. Sadly, I have to work tonight and tomorrow night, but that is alright. I have a date with my big sister tonight and we're going to spend some quality time with one another. I'm trying to get her on to this whole blogging thing. I know it'll be right up her alley. Although, not as many people read and comment on my blog as I'd like, but it's still enjoyable. I still plan on going back home this weekend to hang out with the parents. I haven't been to "church" in quite some time so Sunday is the day that I partake in a visit that is long over due.
I wish everyone a eventful and safe weekend ahead. It's a tad big gloomy here in Texas, but the sun is surely shining in my world!
If it's one thing I hate, it's being in a venerable state. I do not like feeling weak and yearning to have a shoulder to lean on. I know it all comes with the territory of being human, but it's such a horrible feeling for a person like me. I guess anybody who has labeled me as emotionless and heartless now knows that I too am human. It's been a pretty bad week for me. With being sick, light work loads at both jobs and not hearing the voice of my once close friend once this week; has placed me in an emotional maze I'm trying to escape. I didn't realize how much I depended on her hearty laughs and cynical sense of humor to carry me through weeks like this. I have prayed to God that I would not feel the hurt in this whole parting ways situation, but it is taking it's toll on me. I blame my venerable state.
My mother and other friends keep advising not to let it bother me and that this is obviously a time that her and I need not be in one another's lives. Perhaps our journey is truly over. Who knows? I just miss the way things use to be. That is the only dangers in not having a truckload of friends and truly just having one close friend. You never really narrow in on the fact that one day, that one close friendship may come to an end. Ride to the end, BFF, thick as thieves. It all seems like it's been flushed down the toilet. I know my mind is faded right now and I am probably taking this over the top, but I can't help it. I miss my damn friend and right now nothing is easing that sting. I know it will pass and I'll probably be alright again tomorrow.
Maybe if the reason we are on opposite ends of the fence hadn't popped up unexpectedly last night I wouldn't be so emotional right now. Salt was poured on the still open wound I guess. Ahhhh! I have to shake this off and get through this day. Pay me no mind people.
On a lighter note, I am happy to have a vacation day to look forward to tomorrow. Well, at least from one of my jobs. Finally getting that phone, cable and internet set up in my new apartment. Those who do know me, I'm sure are saying "It's about damn time!" Screw all of ya'll in advance, loll. I work on my time and not yours damnit!
I do apologize for those of you who were anticipating my usual positive, strong minded, confident blog, because this isn't one of them! I promise tomorrow I'll have my mind right again, for this relapse will soon pass on. I'm out people. Have a good one.
T.[Nicole] signing off - We'll both end up fabulous together or apart. That's just how we roll. Know the bridge will never be burned, dig that "homegerr"!
My mother and other friends keep advising not to let it bother me and that this is obviously a time that her and I need not be in one another's lives. Perhaps our journey is truly over. Who knows? I just miss the way things use to be. That is the only dangers in not having a truckload of friends and truly just having one close friend. You never really narrow in on the fact that one day, that one close friendship may come to an end. Ride to the end, BFF, thick as thieves. It all seems like it's been flushed down the toilet. I know my mind is faded right now and I am probably taking this over the top, but I can't help it. I miss my damn friend and right now nothing is easing that sting. I know it will pass and I'll probably be alright again tomorrow.
Maybe if the reason we are on opposite ends of the fence hadn't popped up unexpectedly last night I wouldn't be so emotional right now. Salt was poured on the still open wound I guess. Ahhhh! I have to shake this off and get through this day. Pay me no mind people.
On a lighter note, I am happy to have a vacation day to look forward to tomorrow. Well, at least from one of my jobs. Finally getting that phone, cable and internet set up in my new apartment. Those who do know me, I'm sure are saying "It's about damn time!" Screw all of ya'll in advance, loll. I work on my time and not yours damnit!
I do apologize for those of you who were anticipating my usual positive, strong minded, confident blog, because this isn't one of them! I promise tomorrow I'll have my mind right again, for this relapse will soon pass on. I'm out people. Have a good one.
T.[Nicole] signing off - We'll both end up fabulous together or apart. That's just how we roll. Know the bridge will never be burned, dig that "homegerr"!
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