I love this damn Ne-Yo song. I'm bittersweet about the lyrics though. Bitter only, because I've felt exactly how he delivered the words in this song. I've been in love so deep, where my mind was all fucked up. Every ounce of common sense I owned went out the window. Every answer to every question of why was ignored, because I didn't want to deal with the truth. I couldn't handle the truth. However, I knew the truth. Situations like this in life bite. However, it happens to the best of us.

Sometimes you know people are lying, but you just go along with it. I feel that people lie for a reason. Insecurities of the truth, and the way they think people will handle their reality haunts them. So they lie. Terrible excuse, but we've all done it. You're lying right now if you say you haven't. My thing is some folks take it much to far. I get a lot of these outrageous, make believe stories from people online mostly. There are people in my everyday life that do the same thing, but not so much.

In my past I've been in relationships where I know my mate was lying. Covering up things perhaps about their past, but we all know that it comes to the light sooner or later. I'm not a naive person, so just because I listen to bullshit, doesn't mean I believe it. I take everything in, and a lot of things I take in go straight to the junk folder. From there it is permanently deleted. Oh but the lies keep coming.

I've fallen completely in love with my new MySpace page. Add me jerks!

For the Love of Ray J. is a horrible show.

I kind of want to see Jason. It looks scary. Might have to hit the theatre up on Friday the 13th.

I have no Valentine's date this year. Happy Single Awareness Day?? Again?? Ugh!! Oh well, I'll be in the club on that Sweet Saturday, with my hands up with the rest of the single ladies!

Whitney looked GREAT at the Grammys. She still act kind of cracked out though. Must be the after effects. I just wanted her to shout out Bobby the king of R&B once more for old times sake though. Don't matter, cuz I did it for her.

Shout out to Houdini! I told you I was going to throw you in here somewhere. I'm not even talking shit about you either! Not yet, that is. Stick around long enough, I'm sure I will sometime in the future. Muah!

Did India Arie come out with a new CD today? I haven't even heard a new song from her. Then again, I don’t listen to the radio. Just the same 1,002 songs on my iPod over and over again. I have to step my music game up again.

I haven't even began to pack up my desk, and we're moving to the new building next week. Half this shit, I'm just going to throw away. I haven't used these things in years. Speaking of years, where is my 5 year service award??! Don't make me throw that "That's racist" kid up again!

Oh man, pics from the Fried Chicken Shindig coming soon. As soon as my nig Tabu uploads them!

Speaking of the Shindig. There was a pretty new face in attendance. That Parrot bay had me leaning, but my fancy was tickled. Punch drunk jailbait love, because I just found out she was 18 though. Lmaoo!! Lord take the wheel!

The Bestie said she was going to get me a present this year for my birthday. Being that I've been waiting on the complete set of the Golden Girls DVD since I turned 21, I won't hold my breath, loll. I had to buy that for myself! I still love her though.

Short week for me, but it's going oh so slow.

I have to call my Grandma today, found out she was in the hospital yesterday. She's okay, just need some tests ran. She's a fighter at 95 and the strongest woman I know besides her daughter, my mother.

Stay tuned for the next episode…

Happy Friday people. We managed to make it through yet another work week. Blogging 2 days in a row! I'm back on it! Wait. Did I blog yesterday? Don't matter, it seems like it so I'm going to roll with it. I am anticipating this weekend. The birthday is right around the corner. Next Thursday to be exact. Clubbing at The Toy Box tonight, shopping tomorrow, fried chicken shindig tomorrow night and hitting up the Sweet Saturdays after that. There are some pictures floating around MySpace with me under extreme influence outside the club. Doing things totally out of my reserved and swaggeristic demeanor. I had no idea people were equipped with cameras. Some friends I have. I was thinking about posting those pics here, but I'm not even going to do that to myself. So instead, here are some photos of some folks that attended Sweet Saturdays last week.

Can't wait until this long as work day is over. I'm slowly getting over my income tax news and beef with the IRS. I'm getting over the fact that at the moment I can't afford a pot to piss in. I'm getting over the fact that I'm hungry as hell and lunch doesn't begin for another 40 minutes. I'm getting over the fact that I have to work on Valentine's Day. I'm getting over the fact that I'm single again and back on the prowl; I thought it was perfect and I don’t know how. I'm getting over the fact that the blackberry curve 8900 might not be mine until late March. I'm getting over the fact that won't shit change until I start the damn movement. I'm getting over the fact that not everyone knows I'm gay, but they will find out sooner or later. I'm getting over the fact that they might not all respect it, but at the end of the day they can all kiss my gay ass. I'm getting over the fact that I need a perm, but I'm not going to the beauty shop until the 14th. With that last thing being said, I don't even want to go on.

Aquarius - February 6, 2009

Emotional breakthroughs don't come along every day, so when you start to feel like you're coming to a realization today, you need to stop whatever you are doing and devote some serious time to contemplating what it all means. If you just can't afford an hour to sit by yourself plumbing the depths of your heart, then at least try to make some time later in the week. Your mind is in the right place to look at tender issues with a new eye in order to see the cold, hard truth.

True enough the cold hard truth is knocking on the outside of my heart. Today I'll open up, have a seat, shoot the breeze and kick it with the cold hard truth.

Ahhhh…Fuck the IRS is all I gotta say. No tax return for me this year, and I'm a tad bit pissed about it. Having two jobs ain't all it's cracked up to be come tax season. So instead of gaining, I'll be paying this year it looks like. I'll see if I can find a loop hole somewhere. I was planning on using half of that for my camera, but hey, such is life. I'm a hustler, I'll just find another way, another day, and another grind to get that. I have to do it soon, because some projects have arisen and I'm trying to gain a little profit off of this investment. I'll get there in due time. This is a plan I have to baby until it grows into something superb. Besides, here is my take on the government and all political parties...

Yeah, until I see and feel the change; I'll think the same damn thing!

Gosh, my day almost started off kind of BLAH this morning. I'm still in a positive state though. Workload is light, and I have time to actually process all the thoughts going through my head. I hope this feeling lasts on through my birthday next week. I want to be in a good mood all week. No matter how shitty I think my life is. Shit could always smell worse and be worse. I'm surviving though, and I'm glad to have survived yet another year. I'm trying to survive these lessons in love too, but I'm not sure how long this will last. My nerves are being worked beyond repair. Lord knows I'm trying though. Feeling alone at a table occupied by two is never good ya dig? I'm not worried about that anymore though. I honestly feel like I've done all that I can do by my lonesome in that situation. I'm going back to the dugout. The Champ can step up to the plate now. Hope she don’t strike out, because I'll be entering another draft for the number one pick on another team! I'll save this love verbatim for "The Reason".

Seriously though, I'm going to need that swagger right, skin light, sexy mfer in office to hit me off with a $1400 stimulus check this year. I'll pray on that, and let ya'll know how that goes, lmao. Man, I've laughed through my entire weekend, and I've been laughing every since. Sometimes shit be so ridiculous that you can't help BUT to laugh. I'm serious, here is a picture of my ass today after all the laughter….

Whew. I need to gel my hair back like Al Sharpton, because I'm seriously trying to keep the hope alive! With his crooked ass. That's besides the point though. Making and moving money like Willard Smith in 2009, is still apart of the years goals and business plans. Buckle down Nookie, buckle down. Stop getting shit faced in the club, and start robbing fools. I kid, I kid. Don’t tuck your chains in on account of little ol' me. Besides, I'm too legit to quit now. That's crazy, because Hammer said the same thing and well we all know his outcome and negative income. I can't lie and say I didn't make a few bogus and ridiculous purchases and investments on ungrateful folks. I chalked them up as a loss, but I'm feeling that shit big time. I would love to hear the words from these fools mouths, "yo, Mica here goes that money you hit me with a couple months ago! I know you thought I forgot!" Ha! Don't matter, you live and you learn. Get your umbrellas, rubber ducky floatation devices, and safety kits out though, because I'm brainstorming, and this shit about to hit harder than Katrina, Rita and Ike combined.

Later.

*Side note* Funny how people fall off of their job (or maybe they were never on it to begin with), and when you least expect it; here comes someone out the woodworks with a fucking superwoman cape on picking up the slack. Bittersweet…

To the person texting my phone right now making me cheese harder than a Chester cat….thanks. Talk about a grand entrance!

This is where I'll be each and every Saturday.

Follow the flashhhhhh